'This Pampered Princeling Has Never Met A Problem He Couldn't F*CK UP'

You know how those dicks over at the Lincoln Project pretty much decided that their niche in this campaign is to do everything they can to drive Donald Trump absolutely bugfuck, because he is so thin-skinned, and can be so easily derailed from his message and his campaign because somebody made fun of him?

Know how they run ads specifically in the DC market, even though there's only like one Trump supporter in the entire DC market and his name is Carl, because they know Trump himself will see them, and it will actually ruin his life?

Know how part of why Trump fired overgrown hairball Brad Parscale was because the Lincoln Project got in his head with the notion that Hairball was just getting rich off being Trump's campaign manager, eating Rolexes and Bon Bons in his Ferraris, bought with Trump money?

You need to see Lincoln Project's new ad on Jared Kushner, AKA Trump's "Secretary of Failure."

Secretary Of Failurewww.youtube.com

If you cannot watch the video, this is the one line you need to know:

"Like his father-in-law, Jared's not up to the task. This pampered princeling has never met a problem he couldn't FUCK UP."

Oh my God, Donald Trump is going to see this. And he is going to hear the voiceover woman with the very good biting voice really emphasize "fuck up," even though they had to bleep it, because of how "fuck" is a swear. It still comes through.

Trump is going to hear the ad say Jared may be "more powerful than Trump," this "son of a convicted felon" who fits right in in Trump's failed White House. The felon part wouldn't bother Trump, but oh boy, the "more powerful" thing would.

Good job, Lincoln Project guys. We'd say we were going to send you a pie, but then we'd forget for two years, and by then it would be weird if we sent you pie.

We all know that if there is a real fuckup in the White House, one that was not directly committed by Trump himself, it was Jared. We all know that if Trump has had some wild idea about what would make Democrats fall in love with Trump — for instance, commuting the sentence of Rod Blagojevich, the pin-up all Democrats obviously keep on our walls for easy fapping access — it was Jared. He is so mindfuckingly stupid, or maybe he is just one of those semi-booksmart nerds with no actual idea how the real world works.

The Lincoln Project explains that at least part of its motivation for making this ad was that Vanity Fairarticle about how the White House totally was going to have a national response to coronavirus, and they made a plan and everything! (Sort of!) But then Jared got the bright idea that the virus would stay in the blue states, and they could just blame the Democratic governors for all the dead bodies, so they decided to scrap their plan.

Typical Jared. Typical stupid loser fuckup cynical soulless Jared.

And now Trump is going to see this ad about how the man who married his only daughter — whoops sorry Tiffany, we meant his favorite daughter, Ivanka, the one who, if she weren't his daughter, he might be dating her — is not only the prince of all the White House's fuckups and the architect of all his father-in-law's failures, but also might be "more powerful" than Trump.

Have fun in White House over the next week or two, Jared! We'd send you a pie, but fuck you.


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Evan Hurst

Evan Hurst is the managing editor of Wonkette, which means he is the boss of you, unless you are Rebecca, who is boss of him. His dog Lula is judging you right now.

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