Tabs gifs by your friend Martini Ambassador!

Senate Republicans have released the HEALS Act, which is their half-assed, supply side version of a stimulus bill. It reduces unemployment benefits while protecting businesses from pesky liability if they kill their employees. Everyone's a winner. If by "everyone," you mean rich people. I will restrain myself from the obvious “More like HEELS Act" joke. You're welcome. (Forbes)

The first presidential debate between Joe Biden and President Klan Robe has been moved to Cleveland. I hear the city rocks. (Politico)

Eleven Miami Marlins players and two coaches tested positive for COVID-19. Major League Baseball has postponed at least three games. My dad thinks they should just call this season off and wait until it's safe, and my dad loves baseball. Teenage SER never thought I'd say this but I think we should listen to my dad. (CNN)

Real President Biden pays his respects to the late John Lewis.

Six months since COVID-19 hit Washington and the state is doing all it can to avoid becoming the next Florida. (Seattle Times)

Portland's mighty Wall of Moms are gonna SUE the Department of Homeland Security for unleashing jackbooted thugs on the city. Don't mess with the moms. (OregonLive)

How risky is working in a restaurant right now? As Cordelia Chase might say, on a scale of 1 to 10? Pretty damn. (Eater)

Atlanta Mayor (and maybe future Vice President) Keisha Lance Bottoms continues to stand her ground against Trump stooge Governor Brian Kemp. (Atlanta Journal-Constitution)

Susan Collins has "serious concerns" — yeah, she said it — about Trump's Federal Reserve Board nominee Judy Shelton. She joins Mitt Romney in opposing Shelton's nomination. Shelton thinks the Fed has too much power and has called for a return to the gold standard. (Washington Post)

Col. Douglas Macgregor is Trump's pick for the next ambassador to Germany. This total wackadoo is a frequent Fox News guest, which is probably how the president "met" him. He's spread George Soros conspiracy theories and believes Democrats are trying to replace white people with Latinos to "transform the United States." He seems nice. (Media Matters)

No need to leave your Zoom Thanksgiving dinner early to stand in Black Friday lines. Target and Walmart have both announced they'll be closed on Thanksgiving this year that wasn't. (New York Times)

TV networks pledged to become more diverse! But they made the same pledge in 1999, and not much happened aside from Ross having a Black girlfriend for a few episodes of “Friends." (LA Times)

Colin Kaepernick and Dr. Anthony Fauci will receive the Robert F. Kennedy Human Rights Ripple of Hope Award. You almost feel sorry for whoever has to tell Donald Trump. (The Hill)

Here's Dr. Fauci discussing AIDS in 1984. He's always done the good work.

AIDS/Dr. Anthony Fauci (NIH, 1984)

Stephen Robinson on Twitter.

Do your Amazon shopping through this link, because reasons.

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Stephen Robinson

Stephen Robinson is a writer and social kibbitzer based in Portland, Oregon. He writes reviews for the A.V. Club and make believe for Cafe Nordo, an immersive theatre space in Seattle. He's also on the board of the Portland Playhouse theatre. His son describes him as a “play typer guy."


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