This Wisconsin GOP Donor Is The Very Bestest At Voter Fraud
We have listened to the ceaseless drumbeat of voter fraud allegations for SO GODDAMN LONG and we honestly did figure that their overzealous searching would eventually turn up some minor thing somewhere, and then based on that minor thing, they could crow about how they were right that Demoncraps were bussing truckloads of Messicans to vote for Obama. Well, all that looking for fraud did indeed locate some fraudliness, but it probably wasn't what they'd hoped. Let's get to know one Robert Monroe, Wisconsin Republican donor and multiple ballot-caster.
A Wisconsin insurance executive and Republican donor was charged with voting illegally more than a dozen times in four elections.
The Journal-Sentinel reported that 50-year-old Robert Monroe was caught as a result of an investigation into a possible illegal voting by his son in Waukesha County. But after his son denied requesting an absentee ballot from his father’s address in Shorewood, suspicion turned to Monroe.
Do not -- we repeat, do not -- use this opportunity to make some stupid late returns crucial Waukesha County jokes. We beg you.
There's a lot of speculation that Monroe's multiple voting extravaganza was for all for the benefit of Scott Walker, but we do not know this and we will not even say that it happened that way and add the magic ALLEGEDLY. But Monroe did like giving his monies to Republicans, so make of that what you will.
While there's no way to know whom he voted for, WISN 12 News has learned Monroe donated money to state Sen. Alberta Darling. Prosecutors said he voted twice in Darling's 2011 recall election, five times in Gov. Scott Walker's recall election and once in another state.
In a perverse way, we have to hand it to Monroe. He went to really great lengths to get his voter fraud on. For real, he showed an epic level of commitment to making sure he could somehow shift the tide of an election by a vote here and a vote there.
[Monroe] used addresses in Shorewood, Milwaukee and Indiana, according to the complaint, and cast some votes in the names of his son and his girlfriend's son. [...]
Monroe cast two ballots in the April 2011 Supreme Court election, two in the August 2011 Alberta Darling recall election, five in the Scott Walker-Tom Barrett recall, one illegal ballot in an August 2012 primary, and two ballots in the November 2012 presidential election.
In the presidential election, Monroe cast an in-person absentee ballot in Shorewood on Nov. 1 and drove a rental car to Lebanon, Ind., where he showed his Indiana driver's license to vote in person on election day, Nov. 6.
This guy is like a walking talking "vote early, vote often" joke. But seriously, look at the lengths this guy had to go to just to cast a few paltry votes. Using other people's addresses is some weak sauce, but this dude DROVE TO ANOTHER STATE so that he could vote twice in the presidential election. Think of how much hate you need to have for some candidate (that may or may not have been Barack Obama we are not speculating tralala) that you will cross state lines just to get the opportunity to vote twice in an election that ran to the 100 million plus. That is a lot of free-floating rage at work.
Does Robert Monroe have an explanation for all this frauding? Sure does! He just doesn't recall voting at all because he takes drugs for ADD and OCD. We are unaware that any drug for either of those conditions has the side effect of "creating really elaborate voter fraud schemes that span two states" but maybe that is one of those possible effects listed way down the label. We never really read that far.
Congratulations on your awesome new fraud guy, Wisconsin Republicans. Hold him to your bosom forever.