Three Guesses Which GOP Senator Is Climbing Up Putin's Ass With Tucker

Tucker Carlson seems to really love Russia, just like we imagine he'd love any white fascist ethnostate with a masculinity complex.

We've been listening for months as Tucker tries to rile up his listeners to turn on Ukraine, a fledgling democracy and American ally, as it steels itself for more war from Russia. Tucker considers Ukraine and the United States the aggressors in this conflict, because they won't just roll over and give Vladimir Putin everything he wants. Aside from how they're speaking different languages, it's getting harder and harder to distinguish between Tucker's words and Putin's words on the subject.

Tucker's response a few months ago to GOP Rep. Mike Turner saying America should stand with democracies was to say "I guess." He doesn't seem real big on democracy here at home. At this point it's hard not to conclude that Tucker is literally on the side of America's enemies, both foreign and domestic.

And his propaganda has been working, at least on some of his viewers. Democratic Rep. Tom Malinowski said recently that his office has been fielding calls from drooling Tucker watchers demanding to know why America isn't supporting our beloved ally Russia in the face of Ukraine's steadfast opposition to being invaded and murdered. GOP offices are getting the calls too.

Tucker protested to Axios last week that his stance isn't about a love for Russia, but that he wants GOP primary voters to get rid of any Republican "who believes Ukraine's borders are more important than our borders."

Not sure which branch of the Russian intelligence services wrote that line, but it's catchy!

But so far, GOP senators aren't having it, for the most part. (We'll get to the ratface pictured above in a second.) Since the American people chased Putin's puppet Donald Trump out of the White House, Senate Republicans mostly kept spouting the propaganda line that nobody had ever been tougher on Russia than Trump. This gave them an offramp to ease back into a more traditional GOP foreign policy stance regarding Russia, and call Joe Biden weak on Russia in the process. A strange outcome and a strange way to get there, but sure why not fuck it.


Politico collected some key quotes from those senators:

“On individuals up here who are decision-makers, I don’t hear any disagreement about the position Russia is in,” Sen. Mike Rounds (R-S.D.), a member of the Senate Foreign Relations Committee, said in a brief interview. “Russia is the aggressor. … Ukraine has every right, as a sovereign nation, to have their borders respected. Russia’s not doing that.” [...]

“I don’t agree with those views,” Florida Sen. Marco Rubio, the top Republican on the Senate Intelligence Committee, said when asked about Carlson’s monologues. “[It’s] the U.S. interest not just in Europe but around the world in not having countries decide, ‘That belongs to us, we’re going to go ahead and take it.’” [...]

“He’s obviously not in a position of being responsible for those decisions. And we are,” [John] Cornyn said in a brief interview.

Politico notes that Tucker has attacked Joni Ernst as "ignorant," and said Jim Risch is “a moron masquerading as a senator” and a “pompous neocon buffoon." Risch said this weekend that "we side, always, with countries that are democracies," so you can see why Tucker might be mad.

Some of the GOP senators rolled their eyes when they heard about Tucker's quotes, Politico says. Others responded more directly:

“I get great intel briefings and we have trusted advisers that provide many points of view. And I would say I’m pretty well educated on this subject,” Ernst, a combat veteran, said when asked about Carlson’s attacks.

We believe what she just said is "well bless his heart."

One of the goals on Putin's wet dream list that Tucker has said "makes sense" is that Ukraine should be banned from ever joining NATO, because that would upset poor Putin. For the record, Ukraine will not be able to join NATO anytime soon. This isn't urgent. But Politico quotes GOP Rep. Michael McCaul, ranking Republican on the House Foreign Affairs Committee, who says Ukraine “should have a right to self determination" if it wants to eventually join. This is generally accepted American foreign policy toward our ally, and it's good to still hear it sometimes from the other side.

But lest you think all is well in Republican-land, and that at least on this one issue the Republican Party in the age of Trump and Tucker is holding on to a thread of reality, first of all, you should know that the class of GOP idiots currently trying to get elected is fucking crazy on this issue.

And then there's Josh Hawley, the airheaded seditionist senator from Missouri, who would specifically like to cross that NATO thing off Putin's wet dream list:

Sen. Josh Hawley (R-Mo.) is calling on the Biden administration to drop longstanding U.S. support for Ukraine's eventual membership in NATO, arguing that a binding commitment to defend the country would undermine efforts to counter China. [...]

Ahead of a pair of all-member Ukraine briefings for the House and Senate on Thursday, Hawley is asking for "clarity" from Secretary of State Antony Blinken on how Ukraine's future membership in NATO would serve U.S. interests, according to a letter obtained by Axios. [...]

"[Biden's deployment of troops to Eastern Europe] can only detract from the U.S. military’s ability to ready and modernize forces to deter China in the Indo-Pacific," Hawley writes, arguing that "Americans’ security and prosperity rest upon our ability" to curtail Beijing's dominance.

"But those opportunity costs pale in comparison to what would be expected — indeed, required — of the United States, were NATO actually to admit Ukraine as a member."

There's a lot more than that, but the short version of Hawley's letter is that we should give Putin what he wants and cross Ukraine off the Future NATO Members Of The World list because "China." Excuse us, we think it's pronounced 'GIIIIIIIIIIINA.

Let's be clear: Not even Rand Paul is doing this. You'd think if a GOP senator was going to openly wag its tail and jump up and down and make snail trails on the carpet for Putin, it would be Rand Paul. But not even Rand Paul is doing this.

Ted Cruz isn't even doing this. Do you know how easy and effective it is when Tucker bullies Ted Cruz personally? But yet not even Ted Cruz is doing this.

But Josh Hawley is. Same guy who raised his fists in solidarity with the 1/6 insurrectionists Tucker Carlson defends every day.

Some of these folks tell us who they really are an awful lot, if we bother to listen.

[Politico / Axios]

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Evan Hurst

Evan Hurst is the managing editor of Wonkette, which means he is the boss of you, unless you are Rebecca, who is boss of him. His dog Lula is judging you right now.

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