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Thursdays with Tina: The Buzz Is Deafening

Wonkette's weekly service to our readers: Translating Tina Brown's Thursday column in the Washington Post. We understand it so that you don't have to.




Tina saysTina means
There was such demand to get into a small screening at the Beekman Theatre on Monday night that executive producer and host Harvey Weinstein moved the celebrity crowd to the thousand-seat Ziegfeld Theatre. This was a canny PR move. I am resisting the urge to comment on how we could have all fit into the Beekman if Harvey wasn't there. Lard ass.
There was only a one-week frenzy window between Gippermania and the pending Clinton memoir, and Weinstein flew right through it. It was a really big window.
Attempted suppression is a promotional must these days.CNBC is surpressing Topic A, everyone! Really! Free Topic A! Free Topic A!
The buzz is deafening.I can no longer hear the voice in my head telling me to do bad things.
Weinstein had the wheeze of screening "Fahrenheit 9/11" with a different celebrity host virtually every night this week. . . Sometimes I just replace words in a sentence with whatever sound I'm making at the time.

Monday night's co-host with the Weinstein Brothers was legal eagle David Boies, and a backup cast including Richard Gere, Leonardo DiCaprio, Spike Lee, Tim Robbins, Philip Seymour Hoffman -- all the cool dudes.I believe David Boies is a "cool dude."
If these screenings were scenes in a Michael Moore movie, the filmmaker would be hanging around outside with a camera crew trying for ambush interviews.Irony. I know I should know what that means. . .
Their Bush-loathing is so intense there is a pent-up longing for excess, a desire to be swept with emotions the cautious Democratic nominee can't arouse. I really, really miss Clinton.

Probably not, but it will certainly pump the base.

Oh, God, do I miss Clinton.

Our commander in chief is paralyzed -- by what? Fear? Indecision? Panic? An unbreakable interest in the plot of "My Pet Goat"?

I actually tried to buy the serial rights to "My Pet Goat" for Talk. . . those goats really play hardball.
Moore fans can say his prosecution of Bush only employs the same paranoid technique of reasoning by juxtaposition that the Vince-Foster-was-murdered brigade used to torture the Clintons all those years. I just made that up.
Hollywood agent and Kerry supporter Tom Baer told me, "Kerry should flee Moore's movie. It's Goebbels all over again." What was the point of this column again?

Democrats Warm To 'Fahrenheit 9/11' [WP]
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We know, the thing we said in our headline is a thing you can say every day, but it's really intense today, maybe because Donald Trump is now filled with fear of the inescapable reality that millions of Americans who have not read the Mueller Report are going to see Robert Mueller testify on live TV on July 17, and Donald Trump will be exposed. Maybe the Big Mac vending machine next to his golden toilet is on the fritz and he hasn't had gotten to eat a Big Mac on the poop chair since last night. Maybe he's just a weak and sad person, a collection of shithole cells God meant to throw in the garbage, but accidentally implanted in Mary Trump's turkey incubator. We imagine that'd lead to a pretty constant state of anxiety and ennui.

Whatever it is, he's totally fucked right now. We were going to write a nice post about Trump's batshit interview on Fox Business with Maria Bartiromo, but we were busy, and by the time we got to it, he had performed so many batshit feats that we're just going to stick them all in this one post.

Let's start with the fight he's trying to wage with US soccer star Megan Rapinoe, who in a now-viral video stated that she has no fuckin' interest in going to the White House to meet that idiot. He got into a quarrel with her on Twitter ... or at least with a Twitter account that didn't belong to her. It's now been replaced, in order that the adult president may shit-tweet at the soccer superstar who hurt his feelings, but Splinter grabbed the original:

The rant continued:

Right. And Megan Rapinoe just said win or lose, she has no interest in meeting your crusty ass, because no decent American would consider that an honor.

Besides, she has already been to the White House to meet a legitimately elected president:

By the by, the owner of the incorrect Megan Rapinoe account saw Trump's whining and told him to grow a dick and set it on fire:

Ya burnt!

But as we said, it was a whole day of batshit from Trump, so let's continue.

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Screenshot NRATV

DING DONG THE WITCH IS ... quite likely to land on her feet. But for today, the New York Times reports Dana Loesch is out of a job, the latest casualty in the war between the NRA and its longtime advertising company Ackerman McQueen. But every cloud has a silver bullet lining, since Dana will have more free time now to spend on her favorite hobby. We can't wait to see which cartoon character she photoshops Klan hoods onto next. Maybe she'll branch out and start putting Nazi armbands onto Buzz Lightyear. Oh, we would be so triggered!

As one of the most visible characters on NRATV with literal hundreds of viewers for each of her fascist rants, Dana Loesch was a tireless advocate for the gunhumpers lobby, always ready to call out "tragedy dry-humping whores," threatening to "fist" or perhaps "fisk" the New York Times, and expressing her hope that the Mueller Report would die in an "AIDS fire."

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