Thursdays with Tina: The Buzz Is Deafening
Wonkette's weekly service to our readers: Translating Tina Brown's Thursday column in the Washington Post. We understand it so that you don't have to.
Tina saysTina meansThere was such demand to get into a small screening at the Beekman Theatre on Monday night that executive producer and host Harvey Weinstein moved the celebrity crowd to the thousand-seat Ziegfeld Theatre. This was a canny PR move.I am resisting the urge to comment on how we could have all fit into the Beekman if Harvey wasn't there. Lard ass.There was only a one-week frenzy window between Gippermania and the pending Clinton memoir, and Weinstein flew right through it.It was a really big window.Attempted suppression is a promotional must these days.CNBC is surpressing Topic A, everyone! Really! Free Topic A! Free Topic A!The buzz is deafening.I can no longer hear the voice in my head telling me to do bad things.Weinstein had the wheeze of screening "Fahrenheit 9/11" with a different celebrity host virtually every night this week. . .Sometimes I just replace words in a sentence with whatever sound I'm making at the time.
Monday night's co-host with the Weinstein Brothers was legal eagle David Boies, and a backup cast including Richard Gere, Leonardo DiCaprio, Spike Lee, Tim Robbins, Philip Seymour Hoffman -- all the cool dudes.I believe David Boies is a "cool dude."If these screenings were scenes in a Michael Moore movie, the filmmaker would be hanging around outside with a camera crew trying for ambush interviews.Irony. I know I should know what that means. . .Their Bush-loathing is so intense there is a pent-up longing for excess, a desire to be swept with emotions the cautious Democratic nominee can't arouse.I really, really miss Clinton.
Probably not, but it will certainly pump the base.
Oh, God, do I miss Clinton.
Our commander in chief is paralyzed -- by what? Fear? Indecision? Panic? An unbreakable interest in the plot of "My Pet Goat"?
I actually tried to buy the serial rights to "My Pet Goat" for Talk. . . those goats really play hardball.Moore fans can say his prosecution of Bush only employs the same paranoid technique of reasoning by juxtaposition that the Vince-Foster-was-murdered brigade used to torture the Clintons all those years.I just made that up.Hollywood agent and Kerry supporter Tom Baer told me, "Kerry should flee Moore's movie. It's Goebbels all over again."What was the point of this column again?