Thursdays with Wolfie: Smallest Violin Edition

Cablenewser has a PDF of Paul Wolfowitz's letter to the journalists covering Iraq in response to complaints about his statement last Tuesday that media coverage in Iraq was flawed because, "Frankly, part of our problem is a lot of the press are afraid to travel very much, so they sit in Baghdad and they publish rumors." Since it might be hard to cut through Wolfowitz's language -- well, we understand it so you don't have to.

Wolfie saysWolfie means
I know that many journalists continue to go out each day. . . to bring us coverage of the war. It's not like I'm the President.
I knew personally three journalists who died near the war's beginning.They all start to blur together after that.
I have visited in the hospital with journalists who have been grievously wounded. Journalists who were with me. . . were almost killed in a terrorist attack.This is pretty much the extent of my combat experience. I work at the Pentagon. I really have no excuse for calling them cowards, do I?
[On Tuesday], I remarked on the difficulty of covering the war, given the dangerous circumstances journalists. . . face.Maybe if I don't repeat the thing I'm apologizing for, no one will notice what an asshole I was.
Unfortunately, in meaning to convey my frustration about the erroneous coverage of one particular story. . . Maybe if I don't mention what story it was, no one will notice what a fucking disaster this war has been.
. . . the statement came out much differently than I intended.I meant to just bitch to Cheney about it.
And while I know most reporters understand better than most that sometimes the best of intentions and the most elaborate of preparations can’t prevent error, that doesn’t for a moment change the seriousness of my mistake or the deep regret I feel that I did not instantly correct the record.Sure, I'm apologizing, but you people should have known better than to blame me in the first place.
I understand well the enormous dangers that you face, and want to restate my admiration for your professionalism, dedication, and, yes, courage.[Sound of gritting teeth.]
I pray that you all return safely.I pray that you stop covering the war entirely.


This is such utter bullshit.

Wolfowitz Apologizes To Journos Covering Iraq [Cablenewser]

Wolfowitz Says Media 'Afraid' in Iraq, Resulting in Rumors [E&P]

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How do you do, fellow libs? We come together tonight to cheer and clap and cry and laugh, with our leader, Elizabeth Warren, and her fellow nice people Jay Inslee (the gold standard in climate action), Beto O'Rourke (excellent on being a good ally mostly), Cory Booker (best corny love hippie but also Wall Street, it's weird), Julian Castro (I don't know, people are super into him despite his creepy twinness and his too much pomade), Amy Klobuchar (bad bitch), Bill de Blasio ( ... ), John Delaney (???), and Tim Ryan and Tulsi Gabbard.

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We know, the thing we said in our headline is a thing you can say every day, but it's really intense today, maybe because Donald Trump is now filled with fear of the inescapable reality that millions of Americans who have not read the Mueller Report are going to see Robert Mueller testify on live TV on July 17, and Donald Trump will be exposed. Maybe the Big Mac vending machine next to his golden toilet is on the fritz and he hasn't had gotten to eat a Big Mac on the poop chair since last night. Maybe he's just a weak and sad person, a collection of shithole cells God meant to throw in the garbage, but accidentally implanted in Mary Trump's turkey incubator. We imagine that'd lead to a pretty constant state of anxiety and ennui.

Whatever it is, he's totally fucked right now. We were going to write a nice post about Trump's batshit interview on Fox Business with Maria Bartiromo, but we were busy, and by the time we got to it, he had performed so many batshit feats that we're just going to stick them all in this one post.

Let's start with the fight he's trying to wage with US soccer star Megan Rapinoe, who in a now-viral video stated that she has no fuckin' interest in going to the White House to meet that idiot. He got into a quarrel with her on Twitter ... or at least with a Twitter account that didn't belong to her. It's now been replaced, in order that the adult president may shit-tweet at the soccer superstar who hurt his feelings, but Splinter grabbed the original:

The rant continued:

Right. And Megan Rapinoe just said win or lose, she has no interest in meeting your crusty ass, because no decent American would consider that an honor.

Besides, she has already been to the White House to meet a legitimately elected president:

By the by, the owner of the incorrect Megan Rapinoe account saw Trump's whining and told him to grow a dick and set it on fire:

Ya burnt!

But as we said, it was a whole day of batshit from Trump, so let's continue.

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