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Tim Pawlenty To OFFICIALLY Announce He's Boring

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LET THE COUNTDOWN BEGIN! Tim Pawlenty is going to announce something, on Facebook, but it's only for people who "like" him. (So, nobody.) Will people click on this man's page for special "access" to this announcement, as no news organization will bother reporting it? You know what else was a special members-only club full of secrets? Auschwitz.


Here's something that's not a secret: Tim Pawlenty is still calling himself "T-Paw" to pretend he's a real human being with a real personality who people care enough about to give a nickname. And he skates around New Hampshire with a custom-made University of New Hampshire hockey jersey that says "T-PAW '12" on the back. Subtle.

Perhaps when he officially starts his campaign he will finally hire a cameraman who knows how to focus the damn thing and keep his finger off the zoom button?

We are very excited for this campaign. Pawlenty/Killing Yourself '12! [Facebook]

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Presidential contender Kamala Harris held her first official campaign event in South Carolina, a key state in the upcoming Democratic primaries. Friday night, she spoke to a crowd of roughly 1,000 at a town hall at Royal Missionary Baptist Church in North Charleston. She reaffirmed her support for sensible gun safety laws, including universal background checks and closing the "Charleston loophole." She fielded questions from voters about how she'd address mass incarceration. Actual issues were discussed, but then she went and spoiled it all by doing something stupid like eating in public.

Harris filled her tummy with Lowcountry goodness at Rodney Scott's BBQ. Later her press secretary, Ian Sams, tweeted a photo of the senator adding a hefty dollop of Texas Pete to her collard greens because she's civilized. Some chose to interpret this as "pandering." Because some are literally killing us with this.

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Last week, we started getting excerpts from fired acting FBI director Andrew McCabe's new book The Threat: How The FBI Protects America In The Age Of Terror And Trump, and we are both happy and horrified to report that his book tour continues! One of the tidbits we learned in the Washington Post review was that we have YET ANOTHER example of a time Donald Trump has shown us that he trusts Vladimir Putin more than he trusts his own intelligence community, and is probably compromised by the Russian president. Here's how the Post put it:

During an Oval Office briefing in July 2017, Trump refused to believe U.S. intelligence reports that North Korea had test-fired an intercontinental ballistic missile — a test that Kim Jong Un had called a Fourth of July "gift" to "the arrogant Americans."

Trump dismissed the missile launch as a "hoax," McCabe writes. "He thought that North Korea did not have the capability to launch such missiles. He said he knew this because Vladimir Putin had told him so."

Guys, it is SO MUCH WORSE when McCabe tells the story on "60 Minutes," because his account captures the fucking babyshits temper tantrum nature of Trump's reaction to his intel people.

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