Pawlenty Wants U.S. #1 In Pet Rape, Thinks Another Recession's Coming


How does a bland lone-horse candidate like Tim Pawlenty get attention when Donald Trump's fake presidential contest is much more interesting? Not the birther "issue!" According to Pawlenty, he watched CNN say they saw Obama's birth certificate, and he trusts them. What? Here's Pawlenty's plan: "Our role is not to be one of many, it's not to lag behind China, our role as the United States of America is to lead the world in everything." Everything! Watch out, China, we're gonna top you in jailing dissidents. You think you hang a lot of your citizens, Gaddafi? Wait till Pawlenty's in office! Is America currently not leading the world in force-feeding the elderly gasoline? Pawlenty's got a plan to fix entitlements!

Later, Pawlenty said he thinks, because Obama doesn't know what he's doing, the U.S. is going to plunge into another recession. How patriotic of him! It'll be great for the markets to have the next president saying we're doomed to go into a recession at any minute.

And then, at the end, he inexplicably tosses a tiny toy football with Hannity. Woah, those guys are pretty fucking American! [YouTube]


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