Time For Fun New Game, 'Did Your Wonkette Donation Expire'!
Hello Wonkers and friends and loved ones and terrible ones and everyone except the haters and losers! Today, tomorrow, and all damn weekend, we are going to play a fun game, it is called "Go Get Your Credit Card Statement And Check To See If You Are Still Giving Money To Wonkette Which Might Also Be Listed On Your Credit Card Statement As Commie Girl Industries Inc Because We Are Incorporated!"
This week, I got a lovely note from one among you asking me to up her contribution for her. (I can do that in the back end if you are a Stripe subscriber. If you are a Paypal subscriber they are all like, "LOL nah, we can't let you change the payments people agreed to, you would just do crimes and frauds and fraud crimes," because they don't know me at all.) When I went very happily to do so for her, her credit card had expired in 2019! That is at least ... FOUR MONTHS AGO!
Now, you may be thinking, "I don't need to check the status of my recurring donation to keep Wonkette in writers and pixels and Martini Ambassador tabs gifs and white wine sangria and roses because I get a thank you note from Rebecca Herself almost every single month, because I am a hero who makes the world a better place and what did she say in the last email, it was hilarious, right: LIGHTING A FART IN THE DARKNESS!" (That was good.)
Well, that is your first mistake. If you cancel your donation — and you are ALWAYS allowed to, and should NEVER feel bad about it, even if like this month there were a HUNDRED of you YIKES FACE EMOJI! — I do the mailing list "hygiene" and take you off it. But if your credit card just expires or you go over your limit or for some reason it just says fuck you and stops, then neither of us has any idea and all of a sudden it is May and our "receipts" are "ugly" and I am all oh haha whoops payroll AGAIN?
So that is our job this week, for the several thousand of us who give me money: to check and see if we are still giving me money. If you can't determine from your credit card statements (remember, look for "Commie Girl Industries"!) whether you're still giving me money, shoot me an email at rebecca at wonkette dot com and I will tell you if you are still giving me money. BUT TRY YOURSELF FIRST, because really, three thousand of you would be too many to check. Mama got other shit to do, y'all.
Now, if you are one of the 643,000 Wonkette readers in May who did NOT give me money, and if you are at all able, I invite you to dig out your credit card and give me some money. Because I assume half of you love Wonkette for bringing you news and keeping you sane and being super funny and keeping you from suiciding and not tracking your data or putting shit on your browser and being liberal and wonderful and very be best (the other half got linked from something and hate whomever linked them now). And I assume half of those of you have $2 or $10 or $100 a month (really, if you don't, you must not give me money), and just THINK about what a rich lady do-gooder I would be! Many charity! Many spreading your wealth! Raises for everyone! Even for me!
With your money!
Also the salaries and freelance and gifs and pixels and health care and WaPo subscriptions and ad-free Disqus (yes, I know, I pay for that Disqus!) and servers and internet and all of the shit. So please again, if you are able: You can join our Patreon, or buy our merch, or do your Amazon shopping through our link, or even send a check in the mail to
PO Box 361
Polson MT 59860
or use this handy widget below! Just click the amount you want to donate, click one-time or monthly, and then be sure to click "Paypal" if you are Paypal or "Stripe" if you are not Paypal, or your money will not go through!
Who loves you baby? It me.
Let's give me some money.
Rebecca Schoenkopf is the owner, publisher, and editrix of Wonkette. She is a nice lady, SHUT UP YUH HUH. She is very tired with this fucking nonsense all of the time, and it would be terrific if you sent money to keep this bitch afloat. She is on maternity leave until 2033.