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Today in Anti-Muslinism: Jacksonville Jihads, Hate Dogs, and Newt Gingrich

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Welcome to your new Wonkette feature, “Burn Yer Queeran," where we round up news about America’s new favorite trend: Spreading nasty rumors about people of the Islamic faith. Muslin-bashing is the new gay bashing, even though gay bashing will never die because wingnuts still love to complain about the homosexuals until they are inevitably caught being homosexual. Anyway, let’s spread some Sharia, shall we?


Our top items for today:

  • The Glad Tidings Church, which is one of God's favorite Florida churches, is holding a "Jihad in Jacksonville." It's a meet-up for people who want to "learn about the Muslim enemies already here and what you can do about it." For only $40 per person, you can hear Experts such as "counter-terrorism expert and covert operative" P. David Gaubatz (and his son Chris!) talk about how President Obama is a "crack-head" Islamofascist whatever, etc. etc., and how you can pretend to be an intern at the Council on American-Islamic Relations to spy on them better. [Florida Independent]
  • The Jacksonville jihad is the perfect complement to the upcoming “International Burn a Quran Day” in Gainesville. You should probably consider spending the next six weeks in Florida, indulging in an extended hatred holiday. You only live once, right?
  • On the other side of this great Christian nation, good white folks in California's Riverside County are asking their fellow patriots to "bring your Bibles, flags, signs, dogs and singing voices" to an upcoming protest against the Islamic Center of Temecula, a proposed burqa factory and terrorist training camp. Why dogs? Because Muslins "hate" dogs even more than True Patriots hate Muslins. Just remember to "please bring a pooper scooper," because Muslins LOVE poop -- and you don’t want to give them what they want. [The Valley News]
  • Our last item involves Mr. Ca$h Money Serial-Divorcing Bandwagoneer Newt Gingrich, who is keeping his personal brand fresh and timely by chiming in whenever he can on this hate-the-muslins thing. Gingrich and his pet dog Peaches are stopping in at the American Enterprise Institute to talk about America's "willful blindness" (excluding Glenn Beck, who’s going blind against his will) and how “now is the time to awaken from self-deception about the nature of our enemies." He’s going to name-drop Camus and Orwell, because he’s LEARNED. [American Solutions for Winning the Future]
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Lace up your sneakers, Wonkers! Time to hit the streets. MoveOn, the ACLU, MomsRising and all your favorite dirty leftists are getting together for a yuuuuuuuuge march to show that WE ARE A NATION OF DECENT FUCKING HUMAN BEINGS WHO DON'T KIDNAP BABIES. And your Wonkette will be there!

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Rudy Giuliani, flapping his loose yap to Politico on Monday:

President Donald Trump's attorney Rudy Giuliani said on Monday that he was actually just bluffing last week when he called for Justice Department leaders to suspend special counsel Robert Mueller's investigation within 24 hours.

"I didn't think it would," Giuliani told POLITICO with a laugh when asked about the Mueller inquiry's still being very much an active investigation. "But I still think it should be." [...]

That's what I'm supposed to do," Giuliani explained on Monday. "What am I supposed to say? That they should investigate him forever? Sorry, I'm not a sucker."

Cool, that is just Rudy Giuliani admitting he's full of shit and words and more shit and more words (and also a noun, a verb and 9/11). We are guessing therefore that Giuliani, who is a lawyer, would legally advise us to continue assuming we should take his every oral ejaculation with a gi-normous grain of FULL OF SHIT.

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