Today In Duh, Science: Yes, Anti-Vaxxers Caused Disneyland Measles Outbreak. Duh. Science.
Don't you love when science confirms what you already knew in your gut because it is just so obvious? Of course you do, you smug self-righteous liberal, and so do we! Of course we were already blaming anti-vaxxers for bringing back measles and spreading them around Disneyland, but a fresh new study confirms that yup, is it definitely scientifically their fault, so let's blame them even harder now:
Although epidemiologists have not yet identified the person who brought measles to Disneyland, a new analysis shows that the highly contagious disease has spread to seven states and two other countries thanks to parents who declined to vaccinate their children.
Oh, like these parents who believe it is OK to just "meditate" on it and assume Little Junior has a strong immune system, so what's the worst that can happen? (The worst that can happen is Little Junior gets a completely preventable disease and dies from it, dummies.)
So how did scientists figure out that it is fine and good to blame these anti-vaxxer types for giving Mickey Mouse a formerly eradicated disease? Magic? Witchcraft? Nope!
Using some simple math, a team of infectious disease experts calculated that the vaccination rate among people who were exposed to the measles during the outbreak was no higher than 86%, and it might have been as low as 50%.
In order to establish herd immunity, between 96% and 99% of the population must be vaccinated, experts say.
The researchers did a whole bunch of calculations and science stuff, and you can read all their qualifications -- MIT is a podunk safety school, right? -- if you must, but here's the bottom line:
the only way to explain how the measles spread from a single person at Disneyland to 145 people in the U.S. and about a dozen others in Canada and Mexico is that a substantial number of parents have not had their children fully immunized with the measles, mumps and rubella vaccine.
“Clearly, MMR vaccination rates in many of the communities that have been affected by this outbreak fall well below the necessary threshold to sustain herd immunity, thus placing the greater population at risk as well,” the researchers concluded.
So yes, anti-vaxxers, you are officially to blame for this particular outbreak. Thanks so much. Please do continue listening to your favorite quack doctors, like "Dr. Bob," who tell you it is all right to not vaccinate your kids if it makes you feel better, just let other parents worry about vaccinating their kids to protect your kids, you selfish bastards.
It is in fact NOT fine, and you are rotten parents and rotten people -- and yes, we will keep calling you names, even if you think that is "racist," which it is not, and you are extra dumb for thinking that too -- until you stop trying to argue with science, stop diseases with your dumb, and stop putting entire communities, including the Magic Kingdom, at risk.
As we have already yelled, in all caps and with many exclamation points, JUST VACCINATE YOUR KIDS, DAMNIT!!! Because everyone is going to keep yelling at you and calling you names and blaming you for making America sick, because it is all your fault and science proves it, until you do.