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As of today, it has been approximately 500 billion years since Trump first took the oath of office. We are weary, we have forgotten what it is like to not have agita -- and yet somehow we soldier on, scandal after scandal, the odds that we will survive the next three years without coming face to face with a nuclear bomb getting growing ever less in our favor.


This also means that it is the anniversary of Kellyanne Conway wearing that ridiculous Gucci majorette outfit.

We've lost net neutrality. We saw him condemn millions of suffering people all over the world to die of horrible diseases just because the hospital that gives them their malaria and HIV meds also performs abortions. We saw the ACA get fucked. We saw the rich get their taxes cut, taxes which will eventually have to be made up for by the rest of us. So, so many very bad things happened, and through it all, he just kept freaking tweeting. Tweeting and golfing, golfing and tweeting.

In case you've blocked out all of the horror over the past year, allow us to refresh your memory with Wonkette's top ten Trump-related posts!

10. Kellyanne Conway Knows Trump Died On Cross So You Might Have These Beautiful Easter Eggs

9. The ‘WTF DUDE?’ Look Angela Merkel Gave Donald Trump Today Will GIVE YOU LIFE

8. Dreamboat Justin Trudeau Defeats Trump’s Bizarre Bully Handshake Thing With His Normal-Sized Hands

7. Joe And Mika Officially Dumping Donald Trump Like The Filth He Is

6. Shame Hillary Clinton Didn’t Try To Warn Us About Trump’s Basket Of Deplorable Nazi Fuck Trash

5. Trump’s Call To ‘Help’ Charlie Gard Is Both Cynical And Cruel, And Fuck Him

4. Classy Obamas Rescue Poor Abandoned Melania Trump, Whose Husband Is A Gross Mean Jerk

3. Chicago To Trump: Go F*ck Yourself

2. Is Obama’s ‘Wire Tapp’ The End Of Donald Trump? Maybe! A Holy-Shit-Y’all Investigation Into WTF!

1.James Comey Kept A Motherfucking Paper Trail On Trump Because COMEY. IS. A. MOTHERFUCKING. BEAST.

Share YOUR favorite Trump moments in the comments, won't you? And also TIP US because we've gotta pay for our therapy bills somehow!

Robyn Pennacchia

Robyn Pennacchia is a brilliant, fabulously talented and visually stunning angel of a human being, who shrugged off what she is pretty sure would have been a Tony Award-winning career in musical theater in order to write about stuff on the internet. Previously, she was a Senior Staff Writer at Death & Taxes, and Assistant Editor at The Frisky (RIP). Currently, she writes for Wonkette, Friendly Atheist, Quartz and other sites. Follow her on Twitter at @RobynElyse

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Among the primary results from Tuesday that we didn't report: Chris Murphy, US Senator from Connecticut, managed to hold on to the Democratic nomination for a second term. Actually, if you want to get all technical about it, he didn't win the nom Tuesday -- he'd already been nominated at the state party convention in May, and the Dem primary was cancelled since Murphy was the only one to file. Murphy's also heavily favored to win reelection this fall. The biggest question for Murphy is whether he's hoping to seek some other office in a couple years. (As if any prominent Democratic senator hasn't already mentally compared their inaugural crowd size to Trump's.)

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In 2014, Pastor Jamie Coots of the Full Gospel Tabernacle in Jesus' Name church in Middlesborough, Kentucky died from a rattlesnake bite. Was it a camping accident? Did something go terribly wrong at the zoo? No, he was handling those snakes on purpose, in order to demonstrate how super holy he was. Not holy enough, it seems,

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