Today Would Be A Good Day For Moscow Mitch To Go F*ck Himself With A Russian Matryoshka Doll

Moscow Mitch McConnell went on the Hugh Hewitt show to cry and bitch and moan in Cyrillic alphabet sounds about how he doesn't like being called Moscow Mitch.

It went about as well as you'd expect.

HH: Senator, let me begin by talking to you about nicknames. I played the Cocaine song, because Cocaine Mitch is a popular hashtag among people like me. Grim Reaper is as well. But Moscow Mitch is McCarthyism. That's absolutely despicable. What do you think of the last one?

MM: Yeah, I mean, it's modern day McCarthyism.

Yeah, I mean, except for how Moscow Mitch and Hugh Hewitt need to get a room so they can go fuck themselves right now. Because the thing with McCarthyism was that it was a false charge, with literally zero evidence against most of the people targeted.

Whereas with Moscow Mitch ...

[Wonkette takes deep breath for copy/pasting thing we have BEEN OVER FIVE THOUSAND FUCKING TIMES NOW]


Shall we talk about all the ways Moscow Mitch has downplayed/ignored/buried the Mueller Report, which detailed the "sweeping and systematic" efforts of Russia to sow chaos in America's election, in order to install its puppet Donald Trump in office? Shall we discuss the myriad election security bills McConnell won't put on the floor, because Republicans can't win without Russian election attacks he says they're too "partisan"? AND LEST WE FORGET, WE WOULD BE REMISS NOT TO MENTION, shall we talk about this?

Hey, remember that time Russia was literally in the process of attacking our 2016 election, and President Barack Obama went to Mitch McConnell, who had been briefed as part of the Gang of Eight on what was really going on, and asked him to join him in a bipartisan condemnation of the attack? In response, McConnell not only told the Obama administration to fuck off, he also questioned the intelligence showing that Russia was behind the attack, like a common Donald Trump. Oh yeah, AND he told Obama that he would call it dirty and uncool "partisan politics" if Obama told America the Russians were attacking the election to hurt Hillary Clinton and help Donald Trump. (This was during the time he was refusing to hold hearings for Barack Obama's Supreme Court nominee Merrick Garland, which sort of sounds like "partisan politics," if you are not aware that Republicans play by a different set of rules known as IOKIYAR, which stands for "It's OK If You Are A Russian Asset, we mean Republican, we mean both.")

And then (AND THEN!) McConnell had the fucking gall later on to blame Barack Obama for the success of the Russian attack on that election, literally saying Obama didn't do enough to stop it.

Yes, we should discuss those things.

But back to the interview:

MM: Unbelievable for a Cold Warrior like me who spent a career standing up to the Russians to be given a moniker like that. It's an effort to smear me.

And again, go fuck yourself. Everybody was against the Soviets during the Cold War. (Except like a couple idiots.) [Editrix here: I wasn't. Evan can call me an idiot though, it's cool.] And while the current Russian government does indeed have a common thread with the Soviet dead-enders who staffed the place back in the 1980s (Vladimir Putin the former KGB officer comes to mind), when the Soviet Union was losing in Afghanistan, covering up Chernobyl, and becoming a former country, we're actually talking about two distinctly different situations. As Lawyers, Guns & Money points out, the Soviet Union was a communist government. And again, Americans were united against it. [Ed: not me! See "communist," above!] But right now, you see, there is only one patriotic party, the Democrats, which is uniformly opposed to and pissed off about the interference of the right-wing authoritarian government [Ed: NOT COMMUNIST] of Russia in elections all over the world and right here at home. Meanwhile, the right-wing authoritarian party in America, AKA the GOP, is at best tacitly embracing that interference, because it knows that's one of the only ways it can retain power in a nation where its supporters die of old age each day, only to be replaced by adorable bouncing babies who come directly out of the womb calling Donald Trump a stupid rapist and Mitch McConnell the worst thing to happen to American democracy in modern history.

But back to the interview again:

MM: You know, I can laugh about things like the Grim Reaper, but calling me Moscow Mitch is over the top.

"I find perverse joy in other nicknames about how I am a monster, but this one hits me differently for some reason."

HH: It is simply an assertion that you're doing the bidding of Moscow, which is, of course, pure McCarthyism.

No, Hugh Hewitt, you useless dumbfuck, it is the truth.

HH: I thought we were past that in this country.

Cry me a fucking river. The Volga River, specifically. Cry me that river.

MM: Yeah, no question about it. And going back even to the breakup of the Soviet Union, I was one of those leading the charge for expanding NATO up to the Russian border over and over again over the years. So they'll say anything and do anything. This is what we're up against with the hard left today in America.

OK, we have explained enough things in this post, so let's just go with eat shit, Moscow Mitch, you fucking traitor.

The end.

[Hugh Hewitt show]

Follow Evan Hurst on Twitter RIGHT HERE, DO IT RIGHT HERE!

Wonkette is ad-free and funded ONLY by YOU, our dear readers. If you love Wonkette, SUPPORT WONKETTE.

How often would you like to donate?

Select an amount (USD)

Evan Hurst

Evan Hurst is the managing editor of Wonkette, which means he is the boss of you, unless you are Rebecca, who is boss of him. His dog Lula is judging you right now.

Follow him on Twitter RIGHT HERE.


How often would you like to donate?

Select an amount (USD)


©2018 by Commie Girl Industries, Inc