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Tomi Lahren v. Candace Owens Is The Z-List Celeb Beef You Didn't Know You Needed

Culture

Earlier this week, after months of swooning over Donald Trump, saying weird shit about slavery on TMZ, and hanging out with the biggest Republican dorks in the world, Kanye West announced that he was quitting his involvement with politics, stating that he had "been used to spread messages" he didn't believe in and wanted to focus on being creative.

That message, specifically was "Blexit," and the user was Candace Owens, one of the Republican doofuses West had suddenly befriended. Owens launched something she called "Blexit" -- a mass exodus of black people from the Democratic Party to the Republican Party that was only ever going to exist in her own mind. Owens claimed, publicly, that West had designed the logo for Blexit with her, and basically tried to make it seem like this was a thing she and Kanye were doing together. Probably because no one actually cares about her.

BUT, Kanye did not design the thing, he just introduced her to someone else who designed it for her, and did not want their name associated with such a stupid idea. Kanye then got mad and was like "Welp, no more politics for me," which was very sad for Republicans because other than him they only have Chachi, and they had all been super excited that Kanye -- an actual cool person -- had gone full MAGA. Some called him a traitor, some got mad at Owens and her Turning Point USA buddy Charlie Kirk for having been so thirsty and chasing him off, and some, like Tomi Lahren, got all "I TOLD YOU SO" about the whole thing.




To which Owens responded...



Candace Owens should never assume she speaks for anyone, and Lahren should not assume she has any idea what "leftist tactics" even are. It appears she is using the term to describe "general stuff that is bad."

Things got real dishy though when someone told Owens to chill, and she was like "I WILL NOT CHILL, I WILL TELL YOU ALL THE MEAN THINGS TOMI LAHREN SAID TO ME."



She claimed these were career-ruining things, which is doubtful because Tawny Larynx's whole career is based on her being an extremely mean person. Being more of a bitch is not going to hurt her career. She can say any "nasty" thing she wants, to anyone, and it will only help her. She's the Heather Chandler; Owens is Heather Duke and she is not ready for the scrunchie.

Which is not to say she shouldn't release the messages. RELEASE THE MESSAGES, CANDACE. MY BODY IS READY.

The fun thing about Candace Owens, other than the fact that she has no chill, is that she actually tried super hard to become a big deal on the Left back in the day. Like, she tried to get in on the Gamergate thing by starting a website called "Social Autopsy" meant to dox Gamergate "bullies," thinking that she would be hailed as a glorious hero. That did not happen. Why? Because that is a fucked up thing to do, even if people are terrible. She was roundly criticized by Gamergate targets and a whole lot of other people on the Left who were like "Sorry lady, that is not a thing we are into." The pro-Gamergate people, however, were into it, so she, as she puts it herself "became a conservative overnight." So like, she doesn't actually have much of an ideology other than very much wanting to be famous.

This is Candace Owens, basically.

I just wanna be loved youtu.be

She is thirsty, frankly, in a way that Tomi Lahren just isn't. There is a lot that is wrong with Tomi Lahren, but she clearly doesn't care if she is liked by anyone. Tomi Lahren is an asshole because that is actually just who she is as a person. Owens is an asshole because the only people she can get any praise or validation from are assholes. If she had gotten what she needed, emotionally, from the Left, she never would have switched lanes. She's not smart enough to be any kind of big deal on the Left, but the Right was glad to take her because having their talking points come out of a black woman's mouth gives them cover. It's why Kevin Kruse and others can throw facts at her all day long, with every possible kind of sourcing -- she's not going to change her mind because that's not what she actually cares about.

It has nothing to do with anything for her. She is extremely Trumpian in that way.

It's not surprising that she and Lahren don't get along, because that kind of desperation and weakness is a thing that people like Tomi Lahren can sense a mile away. Lahren is a Queen Bee, Owens is a useful idiot, but Lahren isn't going to have any use for her if she's doing embarrassing shit. I know that bitch, because I am that bitch. In my own way.

Were this merely a Real Housewives beef, I would be Team Tomi all the way, in case you cannot tell. However, given that it is an internet spat between two people who are the literal worst and not even in a fun way, let's hope they both go down in this trash fire.

[Twitter]

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Robyn Pennacchia

Robyn Pennacchia is a brilliant, fabulously talented and visually stunning angel of a human being, who shrugged off what she is pretty sure would have been a Tony Award-winning career in musical theater in order to write about stuff on the internet. Previously, she was a Senior Staff Writer at Death & Taxes, and Assistant Editor at The Frisky (RIP). Currently, she writes for Wonkette, Friendly Atheist, Quartz and other sites. Follow her on Twitter at @RobynElyse

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