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Top Ten Mistakes Wonkette Has Ever Made

The really funny thing about our calling the wrong jail to (heh heh) report on whether or not John Bolton had visited Judy Miller in the pokey was that we remembered how to use a phone. Of course, the whole thing was a stunt designed to ensure that the mainstream media never take blogs seriously and in that narrow goal, surely it was a success. That it made me look like a geographically challenged twit? Not so much. Surprisingly, however, this mistake does not even rank in the top ten. It could be -- and has been -- so much, much worse.


Top Ten Mistakes Wonkette Has Ever Made

10. Made three hour motion picture premised on the theory that F. Lee Bailey did not act alone.

9. "Why, yes, I would be happy to help you help you extract your US$15MILLION from a bank in Nigeria."

8. Ordered the McRib.

7. Invaded a country based on false intelligence. Took SAT drunk.

6. Voted for Nader.

5. That last shot of tequila.

4. Second marriage to Michael Jackson.

3. Sent in passport application with gender marked as "male." (Completely true, btw.)

2. Accidentally gave professor "criminal" brain instead of "normal" one.

1. Once reported that guards at Guantanamo put a Korean in the toilet.

BREAKING: JUDY MILLER VISITED BY JOHN BOLTON?!?! [Wonkette]


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Cripes the News has been awful lately! And so Yr Editrix suggested we find some good, positive news. Especially after we pitched writing a Wonket about this Mother Jones story on how global warming may be killing the whales, even though Donald Trump knows their prince. (Reply: "Nope. FOR SURE NOT THAT.") And so, as a reminder that a gooder world is possible and apropos of nothing at all that definitely didn't set your Editrix off on Twitter, where she has been stewing and bitching most shrillfully about the 2016 election and the 2020 election and any terrible similarities thereof and thereupon and therefore and thereto, we present a collection of videos of Elizabeth Warren yelling at big banks and calling for them to be broken up and their criminal operators to go to jail. Puppies and kittens will only get you so far, after all.

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