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Toxic Hell Satellite To Poison Small English Hamlet?

hobbitshire.jpgWe are not safe, anywhere, anytime, from the poisonous cancer death shrapnel remains of the "destroyed" Satellite of Love & Death. Some of us, however, are more safe than others. Mysterious operatives from deep within the British Royal Government have alerted Wonkette to the imminent doom that faces one of England's most treasured towns: Cromer, the "world capital of wicket goblins," in Norfolk shire. We urge the frumpy Tories of Cromer to stay within their quaint, thatched-roof cottages today, to avoid satellite death.


Our British Government operative writes:

The British government says a sizeable chunk of the poison satellite of death will hit the earth at 5.30pm GMT today (12.30 Eastern). They expect it to hit somewhere in the South Atlantic, but are a little bit concerned that it might end up crashing into the picturesque seaside village of Cromer in Norfolk - they're worried enough to have informed the local emergency services...

There you have it: the satellite's most poisonous death pieces could fall in either the South Atlantic, or the lovely hobbiton of Cromer, England. Be safe, you courageous Lobsterbacks.

This satellite is going to kill all of the dinosaurs, again.

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