Christian Lady Being A Dipshit Again

Hey single ladies! Lori Alexander, writer of the blog "The Transformed Wife," has some hot dating tips for you. Well, one, anyway. And it is not going to college!

You may remember Lori from a meme she made one time about how ladies should do housework cheerfully and never ask the menfolk to help with it.

Despite generally being opposed to the idea of women having opinions, Lori has a lot of them herself. Like how women are destroying the medical profession by joining it and also how women getting the right to vote was tragic.

The fight for women to vote is tragic to me because all the women who fought to be able to vote were doing so because they felt they knew better than men (even though God made men the leaders) thus led to the superiority attitude of women in our culture which has been devastating. (Most sitcoms today freely mock men.) It was rebellion against God's ordained authority.

This creates a paradox. If a man believes that women ought to have the right to vote -- as quite a few here and there these days do -- does that mean that Lori Alexander thinks she knows better than men? Harumph! Of course, these kinds of logical conundrums are things one might discuss in college -- but as a woman, Lori knows that college is not for her.

Colleges teach people to be independently thinking human persons, instead of shutting the fuck up like how God wants.

There are many more reasons why Christian young women should carefully consider whether or not they go to college, especially if they want to be wives and mothers someday. Secular universities teach against the God of the Bible and His ways. It's far from what God calls women to be and do: it teaches them to be independent, loud, and immodest instead of having meek and quiet spirits.

However, a reader of her blog had even more to say about how college could potentially ruin a lady's life -- beyond making them independent and loud rather than meek and quiet. Because, according to this reader, and Lori herself, what men want are "debt-free virgins without tattoos" who ideally live with their parents.

"Men don't want to marry a women with debt. Most of this debt comes from college. They would also prefer a woman who still lives at her parent's house that has not had other relationships. Do those two things and you will be highly sought after."

Now sure -- debt is a poor time! We can all agree on that. Not having debt would be great! However, basically everyone is dying from student debt these days, so not sure why a guy who probably has a ton of his own has any room to judge. [Robyn forgot that men are losers who are being out-colleged by all the chicks -- editrix.] The "woman who still lives at her parent's house" thing though? Not sure that's a big draw! I mean, I could probably poll my male friends on this, but I do not think I have to. Not that I think anyone I know would judge someone for living with their parents anymore given our collective economic situation, but I also do not think that this is a "thing" for anyone who isn't very weird.

The reader continues, explaining that a lady who goes to college will be an additional burden on her husband, who will now have to spend years brainwashing her (Lori's comments are in parentheses):

"The husband will need to take years teaching his wife the correct way to act, think, and live since college taught them every possible way that is wrong." (Sadly, most young Christian women wouldn't listen to their husbands since they've not been taught to live in submission to their husbands. However, it's the older women who are called to teach the younger women biblical womanhood and most husbands have never seen it modeled in their lives so they wouldn't know what to teach.)

Yes, that surely is a burden. But there is always the option of murdering your wife and replacing her with a robot replica.

"They will start having babies later in life. That is if they can still conceive naturally." (Is college worth having less children? I will never understand how women prefer careers over having precious babies.)

Jordan Peterson agrees!

Yes. That is pretty much it.

"They lost a handful of years of experience learning to cook large meals and learning how to work in the garden. College kids don't cook. If they do, it's typically for themselves." (Young women learn nothing about biblical womanhood or what it takes to run a home when they go to college. They don't learn to serve others either. They learn the ways of the world instead.)

This doesn't make sense, even from a ridiculously sexist point of view. First of all, it doesn't take "years" to figure out how to cook or garden, unless you are planning on being some extra fancy chef of some kind. I have exactly zero kids and will bet you all of the money that I am a better cook than Lori is. Also, ostensibly these women are "learning" this because they have children, right? Like, not before? So if people have kids later in life, the amount of time required to "learn" that is the same for the kids either way.

"Your posts sound crazy to anyone who does not believe the Bible is true. Most girls have not read the Bible with their father (Ephesians 6:4) or husband to explain it to them (1 Corinthians 14:35). That part is important. Instead of learning it from their parents, they seek out books or movies on how to interpret the Bible which leads them down the wrong path."

She's not wrong. I am an atheist and these posts definitely sound crazy to me. However! I am willing to bet that they also sound crazy to a lot of people who believe in the Bible as well. The vast majority of them, even! Also I feel pretty sure that none of the Christian women I know felt they needed a man to explain the Bible to them, as they are all very smart people who, you know, can read.

Lori closes it up by telling ladies that they will be happiest if they all do the exact same thing with their lives:

Young women, be wise in the path that you choose to walk on. Keep a long-term vision of your life and how you hope it will be someday instead of acting upon all of the "what ifs…?" that many will throw at you. Trust God with your life, study the Word, and take the narrow path that leads to life. Stay virgins until marriage, out of debt, and don't get tattoos!

Weirdly, the reader herself did not even mention the tattoos. This was all Lori, who apparently assumes that getting a tattoo is something everyone who goes to college does, probably as part of one of those "Women's Studies" courses she's heard so much about.

Now, I am currently single (even though I have no tattoos), so perhaps I am not the person to tell you how to go out and get a husband, but I can tell you that I would gladly take my super awesome single, child-free, career-gal life any day over the dystopian, Handmaid's Tale-esque life Lori Alexander is peddling. Yeesh.

[The Transformed Wife]

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Robyn Pennacchia

Robyn Pennacchia is a brilliant, fabulously talented and visually stunning angel of a human being, who shrugged off what she is pretty sure would have been a Tony Award-winning career in musical theater in order to write about stuff on the internet. Follow her on Twitter at @RobynElyse


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