Transgender-Hatin' School Board Begging Supreme Court To Kick Its Ass Now

Probably not a great idea!

Ooh, those anti-LGBT bigots are just ASKIN' for it these days. "Please beat the hellfire out of us, big liberal government, because we are assholes and need to be taught all the lessons," is what they seem to be saying. We've been following the story of Virginia transgender high school student Gavin Grimm, who sued the Gloucester County School Board, because he had to go pee like right now, at school, but he isn't allowed to use the bathroom that matches his gender identity.

[wonkbar]<a href=""></a>[/wonkbar]If you'll remember, the district court said, "Nope, no whizzing for transgenders." But then the Fourth Circuit Court Of Appeals said, actually, we agree with the Obama administration and the Equal Employment Opportunity Employment Commission (EEOC), that Title IX prohibits discrimination based on gender, and hey, "gender" is in the word "transgender," therefore it's open season for trans kids to make bathroom! When the school board asked for a full en banc re-hearing from the Fourth Circuit, it was told to go fuck itself in the bathroom which aligns with its OWN gender identity.

So now the school board is going to SCOTUS, to gets its ass beat some more:

On Tuesday, lawyers for the school board wrote in a filing at the 4th Circuit, “The School Board intends to file a petition for writ of certiorari with the United States Supreme Court within ninety (90) days of this Court’s entry of judgment.”

As such, the lawyers are asking the appeals court to put its ruling on hold while the petition to the Supreme Court is pending. A stay would keep the case on hold — and the Gloucester County School Board’s policy in place — while the Supreme Court decides whether to hear the case.

Well, well, well. Class, let's review what's been going on at the Supreme Court lately. In 2015, a majority of the nine justices on the court ripped open condoms with their judicial teeth (safety first!) rolled them onto their Big Gavels, and proceeded to throat-cram all of U.S. America with marriage equality.

Then one of them nine justices done gone to be with the Lord. It was one of the conservative ones, Antonin Scalia (PBUH), who did not participate in the judicial gay throat-cramming.

[wonkbar]<a href=""></a>[/wonkbar]And then President Obama nominated a very nice man called Merrick Garland to replace Scalia's empty windsock of a corpse, but the Republican-controlled Senate will not confirm him, because Republicans do not know how to govern.

[wonkbar]<a href=""></a>[/wonkbar]What we mean to say is that, with all those things happening at the same time, and with an overwhelming consensus forming between Obama's Justice Department, other government agencies, and the courts, that such trans potty bathroom laws violate a metric fuckton of federal laws, it just might come to pass that we could get a 5-3 ruling in favor of transgender people maniacally pooping to and fro throughout all bathrooms from sea to shining sea.

Or maybe it will be a tie, because Justice Anthony Kennedy is just not ready for the "T" part of LGBT equality for some reason. Know what happens in a tie?

The high court's ruling is rendered almost meaningless; it leaves the most recent decision intact, usually from a federal appeals court or a top state court. There is no new, national precedent created by the nation's highest court.

Uh, so ... good job, Gloucester County School Board? Either the court will say fuck off, and the Fourth Circuit will stand. Or the court will take it, and there will be a 4-4 tie, and the Fourth Circuit will stand, but will set no judicial precedent. OR POSSIBLY the court will say, "Hooray, let's DO THIS," and there will be a 5-3 ruling, setting a massive Supreme Court precedent in favor of transgender equality. (Or a 6-3 ruling, if the Senate ever DOES ITS FUCKING JOB.)

So ... thanks, you dumb bigots, for being both bigoted and dumb, we guess?


Evan Hurst

Evan Hurst is the managing editor of Wonkette, which means he is the boss of you, unless you are Rebecca, who is boss of him. His dog Lula is judging you right now.

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