Trey Gowdy Calls For Second Special Counsel To Investigate DERP DERP DERP DERP DERP
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Are you a silly person who fell under the impression that once Rep. Trey Gowdy (R-Benghazi) announced his retirement, he would suddenly stop being a political hack who has only slightly more credibility than Devin Nunes? Hahahahahahaha, U DUMB.
A few weeks/years ago, Donald Trump got a bee in his panties over how Attorney General Jeff Sessions instructed the Department of Justice's Office of Inspector General to look at the claims in Devin Nunes's stupid lie memo, and at the easy rebuttal of those claims provided by the Democratic response memo, to see if the FISA process had been abused in the surveillance of American citizen and Stupidest Russian Intelligence Asset Ever Carter Page. (SPOILER: It wasn't.) As Jefferson Butterbeans said at the time, "Motherfuckin' bullshit wastin' my time, dang y'all right to heck!" He went on to explain that the DOJ OIG is the appropriate independent venue to review this thing that does not actually need to be reviewed, then he went on a date with Rod Rosenstein and gay frenched him right in front of the paparazzi's cameras, to hurt Trump's feelings.
Well! Trey Gowdy, country lawyer, is Not Being Partisan about this, but he definitely believes we need a second special counsel to investigate! Apparently the OIG cannot possibly conduct this ginned up investigation predicated on nothing but the bovine fart chemtrails coming out of Devin Nunes's ass, and Congress is too leaky ("we leak like Gossip Girls," Gowdy said!) to do it, so obviously we need a special counsel to ... what? Read the intelligence about how the FBI has been monitoring Carter Page off and on as a Russian intelligence asset for YEARSFUCKINGYEARS now? The evidence Trey Gowdy has bothered to read but Devin Nunes hasn't?
We don't even fucking know, but Fox News reported on this, because of course Fox News did:
House Judiciary Committee Chairman Bob Goodlatte and Rep. Trey Gowdy on Tuesday demanded the appointment of a special counsel to investigate “conflicts of interest” and decisions “made and not made” by current and former Justice Department officials in 2016 and 2017, noting that “the public interest requires” the action. [...]
“Matters have arisen—both recently and otherwise—which necessitate the appointment of a Special Counsel. We do not make this observation and attendant request lightly,” Gowdy and Goodlatte wrote.
Yes you do.
“What changed for me was the knowledge that there are two dozen witnesses that Michael Horowitz, the [DOJ] Inspector General, would not have access to,” Gowdy said. “When I counted up 24 witnesses that he would not be able to access were he to investigate it, yeah only one conclusion, that’s special counsel.”
And for real, was Hillary Clinton home THE WHOLE NIGHT of Benghazi, or did Huma Abedin come over to watch "The Good Wife" and make lesbian at her sometime after midnight? THE PUBLIC INTEREST REQUIRES AN ANSWER!
If you'd like to watch a Fox News interview where Gowdy ticks off every dumb motherfucking conspiracy Devin Nunes ever made up in the throes of a spontaneous cow-gasm, or if you'd like to see Gowdy and House Judiciary Committee Chair Rep. Bob Goodlatte lie and act like the only reason the FBI put Carter Page under surveillance is because of a DODGY DOSSIER bought and paid for by HITLERY CLINTON, when Gowdy absolutely 100% knows better, well you are shit out of luck, because that's over at the Fox News website, and we choose not to stain this post with clips from that Trump-fellating shithole network.
We will give you one quote from Gowdy, though, about how high-minded and serious he and Goodlatte are being right now:
Chairman Goodlatte and I do not routinely call for special counsel! I've resisted the call in other cases!
Oh go lick one of Devin Nunes's dairy cows, you dumb cracker goat.
Let's get reaction from a couple folks who are better lawyers than Trey Gowdy:
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