Did Capitol Police Put Wire Tapps In GOP Rep. Troy Nehls's Underpants, Or Is He Just Babbling?

National Politics
Did Capitol Police Put Wire Tapps In GOP Rep. Troy Nehls's Underpants, Or Is He Just Babbling?

Tell us if you've heard this story before:

A Republican congressman gets on Twitter to scream WAAAAAAH THE CAPITOL POLICE INVADED MY OFFICE TO PERSECUTE ME!

The Capitol Police respond WAAAAAAAH we only entered your office because you left the door standing wide open and it's protocol to check things out when that happens, you dumb fucking dildo, WAAAAAAH.

Republican congressman screams WAAAAAAAAAH I'M TELLING TUCKER! and goes on Tucker, to tell Tucker.

Everything about that is kinda weird, yeah? But that's what's happening with Rep. Troy Nehls of Texas.

You absolutely must read the clownbonkers thread Nehls, a member in good standing on Team Seditionist, posted on Twitter yesterday morning. It starts here:



BREAKING! said Nehls. DRUDGE SIREN! said Nehls. The intelligence division of the Capitol Police did an illegal investigation of his office and one of his staffers caught them! said Nehls.

Nehls went on to explain that on November 20, 2021, the Capitol Police "entered my office without my knowledge and photographed confidential legislative products protected by the Speech and Debate clause enshrined in the Constitution, Article 1 Section 6." AND THEN two days later on Nov. 22, a Monday, three Capitol Police intel officers tried to come in again and found a member of his staff and proceeded to question them about the pictures they ILLEGALLY took two days prior.

Did he mention they were dressed as construction workers? THEY WERE DRESSED AS CONSTRUCTION WORKERS.

Were there any other members of the Village People present? HE DOES NOT SAY IF THERE WERE ANY OTHER MEMBERS OF THE VILLAGE PEOPLE PRESENT.

Anyway, all of this is totally normal. Nehls vociferously claims the Capitol Police is "maliciously investigating me in an attempt to destroy me and my character," and says this is maybe happening because "I have been a vocal critic of @SpeakerPelosi, the @January6thCmte, and @CapitolPolice leadership about their handling of January 6th, the death of Ashli Babbitt and the subsequent SHAM investigation."

OK. Is that in fact what is going on? Sure, anything's possible!

The Capitol Police saysnot quite, though. Capitol Police Chief Thomas Manger says first of all, on the first occasion, Capitol Police went into Nehls's office because Nehls's office was standing wide open and that's what the Capitol Police does when it finds an apparently empty office standing wide open. Here's where the details start to get a bit HENNNNGGGGGHHHH?

The officer filed a report raising concerns about the contents of the whiteboard, which included mentions of “body armor” and a poorly drawn map of the Rayburn House Office Building — which is also part of the Capitol complex — that had an X at one of the building’s entrances.

So the officer goes in because there's an office standing open, then ends up filing a report because there's a whiteboard inside with a map of one of the congressional office buildings and an X marks the spot, plus mentions of "body armor." That's odd.

But apparently nothing came of it, according to Manger. He says they indeed followed up that Monday and that was that, and "No case investigation was ever initiated or conducted into the representative or his staff,” according to his statement.

So why are we talking about this? Well, because Troy Nehls is talking about it!

Nehls told the Washington Post he's fine with the "rank and file" of the Capitol Police, but he's mad about the picture and the investigation. Again, the Capitol Police says no such investigation was initiated. They did acknowledge that a photo was taken in a letter they sent Nehls at the end of last month.

But Nehls really would like to explain what was drawn on that whiteboard:

Nehls explained that the writing on the board — which included reports of faulty Chinese-made body armor — was related to legislation his office was working on, while the map of the Rayburn Building, which Nehls said “looked like it was done by my 9-year-old,” was drawn for an intern who was sent on a mission to find the ice machine. The X marked the spot.

OK. Did they really draw a picture of the whole building to show an intern where the ice machine was? Sure, anything is possible!

Anyway, point is that everything is a witch hunt and this is all A OUTRAGE and Nehls is just really concerned about that dead white terrorist Ashli Babbitt blah blah blah hashtag JerkingOffWithoutLubeDotGif.

“I am very aware of January 6 — I believe it was a law enforcement issue, a law enforcement failure,” Nehls said. “I’ve been a critic on that, and I’ve been a very vocal critic on Ashli Babbitt’s death. … I find this more than just mere coincidence that pictures are going to be taken of my legislative priorities and shared with intelligence agents who then shared the picture with a supervisor in the intelligence shop.”

OK.

Nehls says he would like his office swept for bugs, please. (Wouldn't want his enemies to catch wind of his secret ice machine routes, probably.)

Seems like a good place to end this post. Except for one thing:



Golly, we'd be interested in knowing what that's all about.

So this is all batshit, obviously. Jim Jordan is going on Newsmax and just asking questions about whether the Capitol Police are spying on a member of Congress and saying we must get to the truth. Nehls went on Tucker Carlson yesterday and wailed that Nancy Pelosi is "weaponizing the US Capitol Police to investigate me, to try to silence me, intimidate me, and quite honestly, to destroy me." So that's melodramatic. Pelosi clarified today that actually she doesn't control the Capitol Police.

Here's some of that Tucker appearance:



So that's what we know about this. Nothing more do we know.

Except that when people run off to bellyache to Tucker Carlson about shit like this, it automatically raises our spidey senses.

Hey remember when Tucker started babbling last summer about the NSA putting wiretaps in his underpants? Remember how Tucker is literally pushing "1/6 Was An Inside Job" conspiracy theories?

Yeah, that's why it raises our spidey senses.

Oh well, guess we'll find out.

OPEN THREAD.

[Washington Post]

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Evan Hurst

Evan Hurst is the managing editor of Wonkette, which means he is the boss of you, unless you are Rebecca, who is boss of him. His dog Lula is judging you right now.

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