A couple weeks back, Donald Trump's handpicked security chiefs sat before the Senate Intelligence Committee and reaffirmed that Russia fucked with the 2016 election, that it tried again in 2018, and that it will come back stronger than ever in the 2020 presidential election. They also said that other bad foreign actors like China are exceedingly likely to get in the game. They did not provide a status report on whether all of New Jersey's 400-pound election hackers have been rounded up and sent off to Gitmo, but don't you interpret their silence as inaction. We bet they're on that too, or at least they've lied to Trump's face and said they are.

Fast forward to now, and the Daily Beast reports that Trump's Department of Homeland Security is fingerbanging out of existence the very task forces assembled to, you know, protect election security in this here Homeland of ours.

Two teams of federal officials assembled to fight foreign election interference are being dramatically downsized, according to three current and former Department of Homeland Security officials. And now, those sources say they fear the department won't prepare adequately for election threats in 2020.

"The clear assessment from the intelligence community is that 2020 is going to be the perfect storm," said a DHS official familiar with the teams. "We know Russia is going to be engaged. Other state actors have seen the success of Russia and realize the value of disinformation operations. So it's very curious why the task forces were demoted in the bureaucracy and the leadership has not committed resources to prepare for the 2020 election."

What could go wrong?

It's not like these task forces were specifically put together after Russia stole the election for Donald Trump, oh wait they were?

Our bad.

Anyway, it's probably fine. The two task forces -- the Daily Beast says one of them deals with protecting the mechanisms that ensure free and fair elections and that all votes get counted, and the other one is about the kind of online interwebs shit Robert Mueller indicted all those Russian intelligence officers for -- are probably just not needed anymore, because Donald Trump says they're not.

The report explains that both of the task forces have been greatly reduced in size since the 2018 midterms, one of them literally by half.

"Our key allies are wondering why the U.S. is not more coordinated and not more proactive in dealing with this," said the DHS official. "They don't understand why the U.S. is not getting its act together."

Um ... well ... how to say this ... but ... you know, if we had to guess ...

We are not saying Trump has definitely ordered Kirstjen Nielsen, the soulless asshole who runs DHS, to get rid of all the election security. We definitely are saying he's not prioritizing it. And why would he? Come on, you silly gooses, we all still remember the 2016 election! Donald Trump lost BIGLY. He got trounced like a fucking piece of dogshit by the actual vote of the people. The only reason he won was because he squeaked out paper-thin victories in three Rust Belt states, and it's indisputable that a hostile foreign power was hostile-ly working to steal that election for him. How the fuck would Trump have a prayer in 2020 if DHS is doing yucky liberal things like diligently protecting the presidential election? Especially when polls show that most American voters are very uninterested in voting for Trump in 2020 and that everybody haaaaaaate him?

Somebody's gotta give Vladimir the keys to the Jeep, is all we are saying, because we doubt Trump can pull that "Rust Belt" trick out of his ass again. (We don't think he pulled it out of his own ass the first time.)

DHS spox quoted in the Daily Beast article say everybody relax, they are just shuffling some things around, the task forces weren't supposed to be permanent, and they are definitely you betcha still very concerned about election security. You betcha.

Read the whole article for quotes from current and former DHS officials saying this is bullshit, and quotes from Chris Krebs, who runs the Cyber Infrastructure and Security Agency (CISA), the part of DHS under which the task forces were formed, who told Congress this very week that he's hard at work making sure the 2020 election is safe. Of course, the Daily Beast notes that Krebs doesn't oversee these task forces anymore, and that the new boss is somebody ranked way lower at DHS.

The general gist of all of it is that the orders come from the top, and so do the priorities.

"It's very clear which direction we're headed in DHS," one staffer told The Daily Beast. "Everything, it seems, is dictated by someone higher up the chain who is making it abundantly clear to the rest of us that immigration and border security are the real focuses." [...]

[A member of the DHS Advisory Council] told The Daily Beast that the calls with Sec. Kirstjen Nielsen over the past six months have focused on the migrant caravan and the need for increased border security.


Not election security, because fuck that.

Hey, remember that time Trump's hand-picked security chiefs told the Senate two weeks ago that border security was the gravest threat facing the United States? No, you don't, because it didn't fucking happen. Despite all of those things not fucking happening, what is happening, right this second, is Donald Trump declaring a State of Emergency, for WALL. So, you know, there's a funny post coming in half an hour about something else entirely, and we are the fuck out of here, for the drinking. Which is fine, because Trump declared a state of emergency so he can go golfing.

[Daily Beast]

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Evan Hurst

Evan Hurst is the senior editor of Wonkette, which means he is the boss of you, unless you are Rebecca, who is boss of him. His dog Lula is judging you right now.

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Once upon a time... about ten years ago, a group of entirely ridiculous men burst onto the scene wearing stupid hats and telling men that wearing stupid hats and telling men that walking up to women in bars and insulting ("negging") them would get them laid. This did not last long, as women also had televisions and computers and were completely aware of these tricks as well, so when some ass came up to us in a bar and said "Hey, nice nails, are they real?" we would laugh and laugh and loudly announce "Oh my god, this guy just tried to neg me! Can you believe that shit? HEY EVERYONE, THIS GUY JUST TRIED TO NEG ME!" and then refer to him as "Mystery" the whole night.

Most of the men who tried that shit only did so a few times before realizing that it wasn't going to work, and thus moved on to other things. Perhaps things that did not involve furry hats and coming off as a huge creep. We may never know, because I would assume that those who tried it are now extremely embarrassed and would never, ever admit to this to us.

Still, there were a few men willing to eat that shit up, as well as some grifters willing to take advantage of that. Said grifters tended to be extremely misogynistic and seemed more like they were teaching men how to be as despised by women as they were than teaching them how to actually be liked by women.

Some of them, like Roosh V, a creepy weirdo who actually does live in his mom's basement, actively encouraged men to rape women who were intoxicated to the point of being obviously unable to consent.

However, even that branch of the PUA tree is wilting away. Many "self-help" style PUA forums like Nextasf and RSDnation are shutting down or have already shut down. In March, Chateau Heartiste, a batshit crazy PUA turned White Nationalist/Alt-Right blog was shut down by Wordpress. This week, rape advocate Roosh V (whom you may recall once called yours truly a "Wonkette typist/clown face, would not bang") announced that he was renouncing his PUA ways and devoting himself to Jesus. He explained to the forum he manages that he would no longer be allowing anyone to discuss premarital "fornication."

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'Baby Geniuses' star Jon Voight took to Twitter early this morning to proclaim his undying love for Donald Trump, probably because there is no one left in his life who will listen to him talk about this, or anything else, in person. In this video rant, Voight encouraged members of the Republican Party, whom he apparently thinks are the only real citizens of the United States, to stand by Donald Trump and "acknowledge the truth" that he is the best President since Abraham Lincoln.

Part ONE:

People of the Republican Party, I know you will agree with me when I say our president has our utmost respect and our love. This job is not easy. For he's battling the left and their absurd words of destruction. I've said this once and I'll say this again. That our nation has been built on the solid ground from our forefathers, and there is a moral code of duty that has been passed on from President Lincoln. I'm here today to acknowledge the truth, and I'm here today to tell you my fellow Americans that our country…

Oh no, not our absurd words of destruction!

Part DEUX:

is stronger, safer, and with more jobs because our President has made his every move correct. Don't be fooled by the political left, because we are the people of this nation that is witnessing triumph. So let us stand with our president. Let us stand up for this truth, that President Trump is the greatest president since President Lincoln.

Does Jon Voight not know there have been... other presidents? Can he name them? Because really, it does not sound like it. Does he also not know that a very big chunk of the Republican Party actually does not care very much for Abraham Lincoln? Namely those defenders of Confederate statues that Trump called "very fine people?" Also, did he intentionally diss their beloved Ronald Reagan?

Who can know? Who can even tell what he is trying to say or why he is trying to say it. He doesn't appear to have tweeted much since 2016, so I'm guessing whoever's job it was to keep him from tanking his career quit. Either that... or after filming the seventh season of Ray Donovan, he found out it's going to be canceled or his character is getting killed off or something and he is now free to be a jackass? I don't know, I haven't watched the show, although my parents are very into it and mad that I haven't watched it. Literally all I know about it is that it has something to do with Boston, because they keep mentioning that to me like it's a selling point.

It seems useless at this point to note that the people who scream their faces off about how bad it is for Hollywood celebs to support liberal causes, and how they should keep their politics to themselves, etc. etc. make a way bigger deal than normal people do whenever a Big Time Hollywood Celebrity like Jon Voight or, uh, Scott Baio, supports their cause. Mostly because they're the only ones who have elected a reality TV star and the star of Bedtime for Bonzo (who by the way, also once practically ruined a perfectly good Bette Davis movie with his bad acting. Which is not to say that Dark Victory is not fantastic and probably the best thing to watch if you want to sob your face off, but he was very bad in it.) to run the country.

But we might as well do that anyway, because it actually never stops being funny.

[Jon Voight Twitter]

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