Trump Thinks Using Foreign Spies Is HOW RUDE!

Here's a funny and ridiculous and stupid addendum to one of this week's disturbing stories, that of the CIA's highly valuable Russian asset who was apparently extracted in 2017, at least partially because officials were worried Donald Trump might actually burn the spy's identity to his patron Vladimir Putin. (This is the spy who reportedly gave the US the HUMINT -- human intelligence -- on Putin specifically ordering the Russian ratfucking operation to meddle in the 2016 election to hurt Hillary Clinton and help steal the election for Trump.) The story is disturbing for a number of reasons, but mostly because we are finding out about this right now, mere months after Trump weaponized his servant Bill Barr to investigate the investigators and get to the bottom of the origins of the Russia WITCH HUNT, including finding out about the Russian asset who betrayed Trump by telling the Americans about the Russian plan to install Trump in the presidency. If they're trying to fuck their Russian sources and discourage others from helping the United States, HECKUVA JOB.

CNN did some more reporting and found that, according to its sources, Trump just thinks spying is HOW RUDE! Like, in general. You know, if he wasn't ready to accept extremely general things that come with leading a country, like "all countries spy," then perhaps he shouldn't have let the leader of Russia steal him an election.

President Donald Trump has privately and repeatedly expressed opposition to the use of foreign intelligence from covert sources, including overseas spies who provide the US government with crucial information about hostile countries, according to multiple senior officials who served under Trump.

Trump has privately said that foreign spies can damage relations with their host countries and undermine his personal relationships with their leaders, the sources said. The President "believes we shouldn't be doing that to each other," one former Trump administration official told CNN.

It's just not polite!


In addition to his fear such foreign intelligence sources will damage his relationship with foreign leaders, Trump has expressed doubts about the credibility of the information they provide. Another former senior intelligence official told CNN that Trump "believes they're people who are selling out their country."

In the most bizarre way, this makes sense. For the purposes of his presidency and staffing his administration, the thing that matters most to Trump is loyalty. As in, if he Sharpies up a road map of Alabama, he wants people who will swear despite all available evidence to the contrary that his Sharpie doodles are a "hurricane," and who will clap their hands and give him Snausages for correctly drawing "hurricane." In other words, he wants the current NOAA leadership. It kind of follows that, on a philosophical level -- pause to LOL at Wonkette referring to Trump thinking on a "philosophical level" -- he would find foreign intelligence sources distasteful, because they were failing to defend their own bosses' Sharpie maps.

Also, he's just stupid. Like we said, if he wasn't ready to handle the more "big boy" aspects of the job, like accepting that EVERYBODY SPIES, he shouldn't have run for president.

Useless sack of shit.

CNN notes that there is indeed a pattern here, and reminds us of the time Trump was just appalled that the CIA might have been using Kim Jong Un's brother Kim Jong Nam (whom Trump's best boy, the dictator of North Korea, had murdered in the airport in Malaysia in 2017) as a source. Trump promised Kim during one of his White House lawn stitch 'n' bitch sessions that something like that would never happen under his "auspices." Yes, Donald Trump The Smart President used the word "auspices" there, because of how he is good at speaking English.

So there you have it. On top of how Trump really wants to get rid of our most important sources inside the Russian government for obvious reasons, to protect himself from being exposed for what he really is, he apparently also just wants to get rid of spying in general. And of course, he views highly classified information as a toy to play with, something he can share with the Russian foreign minister if he wants, or if he wants to put it on Twitter, like he did with those Iranian satellite photos earlier this month, he does that too. Whatever baby wants, baby gets!

(Historical context if you find this Wonkette post in a time capsule 1,000 years from now: In the year 2016, the American media and the Republican Party were obsessed with whether or not a woman named Hillary Clinton who was running for president was qualified to handle classified information, and you know why? Because she had a separate server for her emails when she was secretary of State. Isn't that FUNNY? Anyway, Russia stole the election from her and gave it to the fuckshow Trump. HILARIOUS!)

Anyway, this is all part of Trump's war on intelligence, we guess because he doesn't have any. (WOCKA WOCKA! That joke was stupid and lazy. We are leaving it in.) He doesn't like spies, he makes armpit fart noises through his intelligence briefings, and one time, as CNN reminds us, he even called CIA agents "Nazis." (Of course, he didn't mean "Nazi" like his Nazi supporters or the Charlottesville Nazis, some of whom he said were very fine people.) Oh yes, and lest we forget, he takes the word of VLADIMIR PUTIN over the word of the American intelligence community when it comes to Russian interference in our elections.

Remember the time our intelligence community said, "Mohammad bin Salman had that Washington Post journalist Jamal Khashoggi murdered"? Remember what Trump said?

In an exclamation-mark laden statement subtitled "America First!" Trump said on Tuesday that "our intelligence agencies continue to assess all information, but it could very well be that the Crown Prince had knowledge of this tragic event -- maybe he did and maybe he didn't!"


We have said this before, but human intelligence sources are absolutely vital, and again, EVERYBODY SPIES, and if you don't like that, GROW UP. People around the world who live under harsh and terrible regimes defy their governments and put their lives on the line to help American interests every day. The least they expect is that America will have their backs when push comes to shove. Under Trump, they can't really have that confidence, which puts us in a lose/lose situation, for the informants themselves, and for American national security.

In related news, remember how NBC's excitable reporter Ken Dilanian thinks he probably found the Russian asset in question, living under his own name in the Washington suburbs? On TV Dilanian said NBC News wouldn't be sharing the person's name, but that HINT HINT, they're pretty easy to find. Well, the Washington Post found the guy's house too, and published the dude's name. (A Russian newspaper, Kommersant, published the dude's name on Tuesday.)

Do they definitely have the right guy? Who knows, but according to neighbors, the dude and his family decided to GTFO Monday night and left cigarettes in the ashtray, so we are guessing he's probably the guy, unless the CIA set that dude up to be a really good decoy for the real highly valuable Russian asset who told America about the ongoing Russian attack on our elections.

All of this is totally normal, we bet Langley is in a fuckin' great mood today.


Follow Evan Hurst on Twitter RIGHT HERE, DO IT RIGHT HERE!

Wonkette is ad-free and funded ONLY by YOU, our dear readers. If you love Wonkette, SUPPORT WONKETTE FINANCIALLY.

How often would you like to donate?

Select an amount (USD)

Evan Hurst

Evan Hurst is the managing editor of Wonkette, which means he is the boss of you, unless you are Rebecca, who is boss of him. His dog Lula is judging you right now.

Follow him on Twitter RIGHT HERE.


How often would you like to donate?

Select an amount (USD)


©2018 by Commie Girl Industries, Inc