Trump And Comey Sittin' In A Tree, K-I-S-S-I-N-G

But which is which?

SCOOP-TASTIC SCOOP! Politico reports that Sunday, there was a reception at the White House to honor law enforcement, and when FBI Director James Comey spotted Donald Trump across a crowded room, they locked eyes, "Strangers In The Night" started playing, a giant piece of pisketti fell from heaven and the ends landed in the two gentlemen's mouths, and as they walked toward each other -- but really it wasn't their feet approaching each other, it was MAGNETIC SEX FORCES pulling their bodies together -- they chewed the pisketti and they chewed the pisketti until all of a sudden they were chewing the same part of the pisketti, so they decided to make love while tongue-fighting over who gets the last bite of the pisketti.


OK fine, this is what Politico says:

President Donald Trump on Sunday warmly greeted the man who some Democrats say handed him the presidency.

At a White House reception for law enforcement, Trump spotted FBI Director James Comey and, stretching out his arms, called him over. Comey strolled across the room to greet Trump, who shook his hand and put an arm around him, slapping him on the back.

That's some really dry reporting, Politico. How warm was the greeting? When Trump stretched out his arms, did he have a tear in his eye? When Comey was strolling to meet Trump, was he doing flirtatious actions with his pelvis? Did Trump slap Comey hard, or more like a love-pat? Was it on his upper back, or his more tender lower back region?

Anyway, we are all for curious since the Justice Department's inspector general is currently investigating whether Comey did or did not knowingly steal the election for Trump, by being REAL SHHHHH SECRET about the agency's investigation into Trump ties with Russia, while being a total blabber monster about Hillary Clinton's fucking emails, back in the summer when his agency CLEARED HILLARY OF WRONGDOING, and then 11 days before the election, when, without a warrant, with no reason to believe there was any new Hot Hillary Email News, Comey wrote a letter to all the (Republican) Senatepeople that said "SQUEEEEEEEEE HILLARY EMAIL NEWS, LET'S TELL AMERICA!" You'll remember what a squeaker Trump's "win" was after that.

Maybe the "warm greeting" at the law enforcement party was totally innocent. Maybe they are boys who like to kiss each other on the mouth and are going steady. HUH GUESS AMERICA WILL NEVER KNOW, unless the Russians have videotape of it.

Whatever. If you want to have an "open thread" in this post, even with the mental images of James Comey and Donald Trump doing Lady And The Tramp to each other in a XXX way, hey, it's a free country.

For now.


Evan Hurst

Evan Hurst is the managing editor of Wonkette, which means he is the boss of you, unless you are Rebecca, who is boss of him. His dog Lula is judging you right now.

Follow him on Twitter RIGHT HERE.


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