Trump and the GOP are kicking the shit out of each other, and it is glorious. The former president has made it clear he's doing nothing for nobody unless they PAY ME, BITCH, and the Republican Party has got no choice but to get out that checkbook if they don't want their knees broken. You love to see it!

Politico was first to report that Trump's lawyers sent the Republican National Committee (RNC), the National Republican Senatorial Committee (NRSC), and the National Republican Congressional Committee (NRCC) a nastygram on Friday ordering them to "immediately cease and desist the unauthorized use of President Donald J. Trump's name, image, and/or likeness in all fundraising, persuasion, and/or issue speech."

As the Washington Post noted, Trump is both incensed that someone else might make money off his name without forking over a licensing fee, and pissed that some of the cash raised might go to support candidates he doesn't like. How very dare the party put its own survival over his petty grudges! If the GOP won't throw over Lisa Murkowski and Liz Cheney, then maybe he'll just take his ball and go home!

And he would have gotten away with it, too, if it weren't for that pesky First Amendment! As Politico reports this morning, the RNC responded yesterday in a letter to Trump's attorney saying the organization "has every right to refer to public figures as it engages in core, First Amendment-protected political speech, and it will continue to do so in pursuit of these common goals." Which is true, as long as their common goal is elevating a rabid dog to god-like status and allowing him exclusive control over the levers of power, even as he has no megaphone to spread his or their message.


The letter also stressed that Trump had personally spoken to RNC Chair Ronna Romney McDaniel over the weekend, and the two had ironed out their differences over the use of Trump's name in party marketing and fundraising. Whether this is a backhanded reference to Corey Lewandowski, David Bossie, and Brad Parscale, the exiled grifters who have wormed their way back into Trumpland and are attempting to reassert control over the money juggernaut, is ... unclear. AHEM.

But since the old man clearly needs a sweetener, the RNC announced last night that it will be moving the Saturday night gala portion of the April retreat for high-end Republican donors to Mar-a-Lago. The rest of the weekend will still take place at a luxury hotel in Palm Beach as planned, but Trump will get to pocket the cost of a fancy catered dinner and the ballroom rental. KA-CHING!

The deal was first reported by the Post, whose sources say the switch was a matter of safety, since "it would be easier to accommodate such a large event that includes Secret Service logistics at the former president's club." (Lol, wut?) Or perhaps it's because "many GOP donors like[] visiting Mar-a-Lago" and it's just more convenient for hundreds of guests to traipse down from Palm Beach while Trump waddles down from his bedroom. But whatever the reason, it has nothing to do with lining the former president's pockets, right?

Just kidding! As the AP reports, the RNC's lawyer explicit referred to the party in his response to the cease and desist letter, writing that Trump and McDaniel had kissed and made up, and "that [Trump] approves of the RNC's current use of his name in fundraising and other materials, including for our upcoming donor retreat event at Palm Beach at which we look forward to him participating."

Subtle! And yet, a rabid animal is always gonna bite. So yesterday the frother in chief foamed out a message to the rabies cultists (you have to take it with zinc!) instructing them to send all their hatebuxx to him and him alone.

"No more money for RINOS. They do nothing but hurt the Republican Party and our great voting base — they will never lead us to Greatness," the spittle-flecked missive warns. "Send your donation to Save America PAC at DonaldJTrump.com. We will bring it all back stronger than ever before!"

Lie down with rabid dogs, wake up with teeth marks. Good luck, Ronna!

[Politico / WaPo / AP]

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Liz Dye

Liz Dye lives in Baltimore with her wonderful husband and a houseful of teenagers. When she isn't being mad about a thing on the internet, she's hiding in plain sight in the carpool line. She's the one wearing yoga pants glaring at her phone.

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