Trump Begged FBI For Reach-Around On Russia Investigation, Because Of Course He Did

co-presidents of America

Good God, sounds like Donald Trump is so deep in this Russia shit his breath smells like ... well, Russian shit. In the latest example of That's Not How Any Of This Works, we learn from CNN (fake news!) that the Trump White House actually tried to demand the FBI do its bidding and tell reporters that Trump is TOTALLY INNOCENT, and that all these articles coming out about the Trump campaign being in constant contact with Russian spies last year are total lies, just made up, SO FAKE!

The FBI rejected a recent White House request to publicly knock down media reports about communications between Donald Trump's associates and Russians known to US intelligence during the 2016 presidential campaign, multiple US officials briefed on the matter tell CNN.

But a White House official said late Thursday that the request was only made after the FBI indicated to the White House it did not believe the reporting to be accurate.

Oh like hell. We do not believe the FBI called the White House to say, "All these stories are lies, as you, Donald, pure of heart and tiny of hands, have done no wrong."

[wonkbar]<a href=""></a>[/wonkbar]As CNN explains, the White House's requests are something that's Not Done, because it's "a violation of procedures that limit communications with the FBI on pending investigations." But it's not like the Trump White House thinks it should have to abide by any rules or standards, so why should James Comey's FBI? (Don't answer that.)

Anyway, the FBI was like "nah, you are not our real dad, and also there is a pending investigation, so get bent a thousand ways from Sunday."

[wonkbar]<a href=""></a>[/wonkbar]Reportedly, how this went down was FBI Deputy Director Andrew McCabe and Trump goon Reince Priebus were talking at an unrelated White House meeting, and Priebus was like, "Will you FBI guys please get the word out there that Trump is not compromised by Russia, and also say these stories from the New York Times and CNN (these stories) are dumb and fake?" According to CNN, the White House ORIGINALLY said it was McCabe who called Priebus "early in the morning," like so early Priebus still had morning wood we guess, to tell him the FBI thinks the stories are wrong and stupid. And then the Trump White House backtracked on that claim, because it was a lie we guess, like pretty much everything else the Trump White House says.

THEN, according to CNN's unnamed White House official, Priebus went to McCabe again, and also James Comey, and Comey's reply was fuck off.

[wonkbar]<a href=""></a>[/wonkbar]Can we take a moment to note that somebody (probably at the FBI) leaked to the press that Reince Priebus was crying to the FBI to make them stop being mean about Trump and Russia? Sounds like even if certain rogue elements in the agency conspired to get Trump elected, the bureau as a whole may have turned on Pussgrab McWeakSad! Weak! Sad! We already knew the rest of the intelligence community had declared war on him.

Speaking of weak and sad, Trump is having a conniption on Twitter about this:

Wait, we thought these were fake reports, as opposed to classified information. Huh! But we agree with Trump that if the classified information is that Vladimir Putin's dick lives in Donald Trump's mouth, that could have a devastating effect on America, INDEEDY DO.

[wonkbar]<a href=""></a>[/wonkbar]This is, of course, coming as the Senate Intelligence Committee is signaling, after last Friday night's classified intelligence briefing with Comey, that it's ready and willing to FULLY investigate Trump's Russia ties (and there is so much more to investigate!), and Rep. Maxine Waters (D-God Bless Her) is going on television and saying Trump and all his cronies are "scumbags" in bed with Russia.

So, is this a yooge fuckin' deal, as Joe Biden would say if he were making fun of Donald Trump? We think so! So does intelligence expert Malcolm Nance, who reacted this way on Twitter when he saw CNN's story about the Trump White House begging the FBI to give it a reach-around:

"Beginning of the end?" Oh God, we hope so. Let this long national nightmare be DONE, and let's send Trump to Gitmo where he belongs.

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Evan Hurst

Evan Hurst is the managing editor of Wonkette, which means he is the boss of you, unless you are Rebecca, who is boss of him. His dog Lula is judging you right now.

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