Liddle' Bob still winning.


It was a nice morning at the White House. The lumps of orange flaky flesh and empty head that call themselves "president" rolled out of bed into a sticky spot on the floor (last night's ice cream scoops) and looked for something to be mad about. That war widow Myeshia Johnson? Nah, that is SO yesterday. Mayor of San Juan? Well, she did tweet another mean nasty woman thing, but Hope Hicks hadn't let him see it yet.

Trump tried to scroll through the last several weeks in his brain to remember what other feuds he had started for no reasons other than incompetence and a heaping spoonful of self loathing, but having no functional brain to scroll through (ALLEGEDLY!), he scrolled through his Twitter history instead. That's when he remembered LIDDLE' BOB CORKER!

LOLOL sad.

As a Tennessee person who has watched Corker get easily elected twice, we are endlessly amused by Trump's notion that Corker couldn't get elected here again. As a person who loves the truth, we are endlessly amused by Trump's obvious lie that Corker "begged" him for an endorsement. That's like saying he begged for an endorsement from ass herpes, especially considering what Alabama GOP voters did last time Trump rubbed his stank all over a candidate. As a person who enjoys spelling, we compliment Trump for spelling "Tennessee" twice in a row almost perfectly.

Corker was finished with Trump's mouth and his lies before the president even had a chance to close Twitter, finish his morning rectal grunts, and finally press the red button over his gold-plated presidential commode that flushes away his previous day of dietary sins against his own body:

Apparently Trump is pissed at LIDDLE' BOB because LIDDLE' BOB did the morning shows on Tuesday and basically told Trump to stay away from Capitol Hill and let the grown-ups work on tax reform. (We're using the term "grown-ups" loosely, obviously.)

“I would recommend that based on recent history and just interactions,” Corker said on the Today Show, when asked if Trump should “leave well enough alone” on the tax debate. “I think that’s the best way for us to have success.”

Basically, he is saying we all know The Art Of The Deal is a work of fiction and that everything Trump touches turns to shit. Stay away, President Sad Lumps!

Oh no, everyone! Breaking Twitter news! Trump saw Bob Corker's mean tweet and had to respond with a zinger!

Psssst! Donald! You already said that, sweetcheeks.

Just now on live TV, Bob Corker spoke to reporters, and in response to the question "Do you regret supporting him for president?" he replied, "What do you think?" Ooooooooooooof. He added, "At this point, I've realized what we're dealing with, like most Americans." He added that he doesn't think there's "any question" Trump is debasing the nation. Here's a video of Corker talking shit:

Evan Hurst

Evan Hurst is the senior editor of Wonkette, which means he is the boss of you, unless you are Rebecca, who is boss of him. His dog Lula is judging you right now.

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