Trump Begs LIDDLE' BOB CORKER For More Spankings, And Corker Is Happy To Oblige!
Liddle' Bob still winning.
It was a nice morning at the White House. The lumps of orange flaky flesh and empty head that call themselves "president" rolled out of bed into a sticky spot on the floor (last night's ice cream scoops) and looked for something to be mad about. That war widow Myeshia Johnson? Nah, that is SO yesterday. Mayor of San Juan? Well, she did tweet another mean nasty woman thing, but Hope Hicks hadn't let him see it yet.
Trump tried to scroll through the last several weeks in his brain to remember what other feuds he had started for no reasons other than incompetence and a heaping spoonful of self loathing, but having no functional brain to scroll through (ALLEGEDLY!), he scrolled through his Twitter history instead. That's when he remembered LIDDLE' BOB CORKER!
As a Tennessee person who has watched Corker get easily elected twice, we are endlessly amused by Trump's notion that Corker couldn't get elected here again. As a person who loves the truth, we are endlessly amused by Trump's obvious lie that Corker "begged" him for an endorsement. That's like saying he begged for an endorsement from ass herpes, especially considering what Alabama GOP voters did last time Trump rubbed his stank all over a candidate. As a person who enjoys spelling, we compliment Trump for spelling "Tennessee" twice in a row almost perfectly.
Corker was finished with Trump's mouth and his lies before the president even had a chance to close Twitter, finish his morning rectal grunts, and finally press the red button over his gold-plated presidential commode that flushes away his previous day of dietary sins against his own body:
Apparently Trump is pissed at LIDDLE' BOB because LIDDLE' BOB did the morning shows on Tuesday and basically told Trump to stay away from Capitol Hill and let the grown-ups work on tax reform. (We're using the term "grown-ups" loosely, obviously.)
“I would recommend that based on recent history and just interactions,” Corker said on the Today Show, when asked if Trump should “leave well enough alone” on the tax debate. “I think that’s the best way for us to have success.”
Basically, he is saying we all know The Art Of The Deal is a work of fiction and that everything Trump touches turns to shit. Stay away, President Sad Lumps!
Oh no, everyone! Breaking Twitter news! Trump saw Bob Corker's mean tweet and had to respond with a zinger!
Psssst! Donald! You already said that, sweetcheeks.
Just now on live TV, Bob Corker spoke to reporters, and in response to the question "Do you regret supporting him for president?" he replied, "What do you think?" Ooooooooooooof. He added, "At this point, I've realized what we're dealing with, like most Americans." He added that he doesn't think there's "any question" Trump is debasing the nation. Here's a video of Corker talking shit:
Q: "At the beginning of this administration, you supported the president. Do you regret that now?"
Sen. Corker: "Well, what do you think?" pic.twitter.com/aksDpHvOQp
— NBC News (@NBCNews) October 24, 2017
And here is six straight minutes of Corker shitting on Trump, saying he only doesn't call the president a "liar" because his genteel southern family didn't use the "L" word growing up, that Trump will be remembered for his "debasement" of our nation, and that he's not a role model for children. WHEEEEEEEE!
CORKER UNLOADS: He would NOT support Trump again; says Trump NOT a role model; won't say if he trusts Trump w nukes https://t.co/oAGIWVZ8P9
— Manu Raju (@mkraju) October 24, 2017
And YAY! Everyone look! Donald Trump is back on the toilet and responding already! Because this is America now, and we are literally sitting in a Wonkette post right now updating in real time while the president and a leading senator from his own party slap each other!
Hooray, we got another LIDDLE' BOB! Did we mention Trump is doing a lunch with the GOP senators today? Should be fun!
Corker is, of course, correct about Trump needing to stay away from Congress, if the GOP wants to get anything accomplished at this point. McCain hates him. Corker hates him. According to Corker, pretty much everybody Republican in the Senate except for the very stupidest ones hate Trump. (We continue to believe Chuck Grassley is the leader of the Stupid Caucus, because we are Political Analysts like that.) Rand Paul says he's "all in" on tax cuts, but Rand Paul is a brat and could turn on a dime for one of his "Rand Paul Reasons" at any second.
Susan Collins and Lisa Murkowski have brains and seem to enjoy voting against Trump's agenda just to make the shitheel in the White House squirm.
Does any of that add up to 50 votes? Only if Mitch McConnell yells "Turtle Power!" and somehow keeps control of his caucus. We imagine he'd rather Trump stay at daycare too, where he is happy.
Besides, it is fun there! White House Daycare has "Fox & Friends" and burnt steak chunks and one of those little blue mats on the floor of the Oval where naptime happens, except it's like 11 or 12 little blue mats sewn together because Donald Trump is pretty husky. Also all his toys are there:
The rest of this week should be metric shitloads of fun.
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