Trump Big Mad That Folks Are Bailing Out Protesters While All His Buddies Are Stuck In Jail

Legal

People peacefully protesting the brutal killing of George Floyd have been arrested at a record pace. Police don't spend days getting their paperwork in order when they're just arresting protesters on BS charges. Chiara de Blasio was arrested at a New York protest. (She's the mayor's daughter, but I doubt she goes around bragging about it.) The cops reportedly busted her because she didn't disperse quickly enough. Yet, every police union in the country thinks we should let cops sleep comfortably in their own beds after killing someone on camera.

Finding flimsy-ass reasons to arrest people at protests has a deliberate chilling effect on free speech. Someone I knew was arrested at a Black Lives Matter rally in Seattle because she bumped into a police officer. She was charged with assault, but she just tripped. They should've fined her for clumsiness and left it at that. Instead, she spent the night in jail.

According to the New York Times, more than 360 people were arrested at protests in Minnesota, but they won't have to rot in jail, which is even less safe than usual during a pandemic. The Minnesota Freedom Fund has collected tens of thousands of donations from across the globe. The funds will pay for the release of protesters so they aren't effectively imprisoned without a trial.


The Minnesota Freedom Fund was founded in 2016. During 2018, it raised $110,000 in donations. Thanks to the magic of social media, the fund has raised $20 million in four days. That's a disappointing haul for a major film release over Memorial Day weekend, but it's damn impressive for the cause of justice.

"Everyone around the world is ready for justice," Tonja Honsey, the executive director of the fund, said on Friday. "They're ready for real change, and they're supporting that."

The organization doesn't believe in the concept of cash bail but pays people's bail to help “reduce harm to individuals in the immediate term." This is a good and positive thing, so of course President Klan Bake tweeted garbage about it Monday morning.

God, this guy's deranged. Sleepy Joe Biden's People sounds like a Disney cartoon short. Trump keeps forgetting he is the mob boss in this election. Biden isn't the one whose campaign staff is full of felons and future felons. Trump pardons every criminal he knows, which as we've noted, is a lot.

Trump can't even decide if Biden is a criminal mastermind or a “clueless" old man. He's right that Biden probably doesn't know anything about private individuals contributing to a bail fund for Americans arrested while exercising their constitutional rights. He wouldn't oppose it, though, because Biden actually believes in the Constitution rather than wiping his ass with a fresh copy of it each morning like Trump does. (Allegedly!)

Fools tried to come for Chrissy Teigen when she donated to the cause and she just wrote a bigger check.

The majority of protesters aren't “anarchists," but let's take a moment here to consider how our big dumb president doesn't even know what “anarchy" means. Anarchists reject authority and organized governing bodies. Biden's campaign had its low points early this year, but even after New Hampshire, anarchists would've considered it too organized. The political equivalent of Brad Pitt in True Romance won't be the “real power" in a Biden administration. That'll be black women and they're organized as fuck.

It is almost adorable that Trump still thinks we're afraid of “big tax increases." We haven't left our houses in months and the streets are on fire. Get a new schtick, asshole.

Trump wants to conflate protesters and looters, because he sees no difference between opposing him and burning a Starbucks. However, in America, people accused of a crime should await trial freely unless they're a demonstrated threat to others. I don't care much for people who vandalize small businesses, but they deserve as much consideration as cops who assault and kill citizens.

[New York Times / Minnesota Freedom Fund]

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Stephen Robinson

Stephen Robinson is a writer and social kibbitzer based in Portland, Oregon. He's on the board of the Portland Playhouse theater and writes for the immersive theater Cafe Nordo in Seattle. Tickets are on sale now for his latest Nordo collaboration, "Curiouser and Curiouser," an adaptation of "Alice's Adventures in Wonderland" and "Through the Looking Glass." It promises to feel like an actual evening with SER (for good or for ill).

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