#DAPL 2017 elections Ajit Pai bernie sanders bibi netanyahu bill maher C. Christine Fair calista gingrich Chelsea Handler Corey Stewart cornel west David Clarke diane feinstein dox doxing Dwyane Johnson fcc Georgetown professor punches a nazi h.r. mcmaster hassan rouhani healthcare Healthcare Refrom HealthCare Repeal human batteries iran Iran elections isil isis jared kushner John Joseph Boswell john oliver Joseph Lierberman Kasowitz keith ellison Lieberman lobbying louis farrakhan marco rubio McConnellCare mike pence montana newt gingrich notre dame Notre Dame Walkout obamacare obamacare repeal President Jared President Kushner pt News Brief resistance rex tillerson richard spencer rob quist roger ailes roger stone RyanCare saturday night live saudi arabia scott pruitt Sinclair Sinclair tv snl special elections tehran The Rock thesis Tom Hanks Trump bow trump russia TrumpCare vatican Wealthcare wikipedia Zach Ailes
Trump Bows To Not America. Wonkagenda for Mon., May 22, 2017
Morning Wonketariat! Here's some of the things we may be talking about today.
- Bad news, poor people, Trump is gutting the social safety net with $800 billion in funding cuts over 10 years to Medicaid, SNAP, Social Security Supplemental Security Income, and Disability Insurance, while cutting the taxes of the wealthy. You awful wretches should just stop being poor already.
- Trump went to Saudi Arabia yesterday to yell at Iran and ISIS/ISIL/whatever and then bow to foreign leaders (like a bitch). It totally pissed off Roger Stone.
- GOOD NEWS! Iran re-elected President Hassan Rouhani in a resounding victory, as well as electing other economic and social reformist candidates to key city council positions in Tehran. Hurray, progress (that Trump doesn't understand)!
- Bibi Netanyahu was pissed that he literally had to order ministers to attend Trump's welcome ceremony because Trump didn't have time to do a grip and grin before President Kushner's Middle East Peace push.
- Mitch McConnell is determined to hold a vote on TrumpCare/WealthCare/RyanCare/McConnellCare which will smother Medicaid expansion to death with luxurious, pillowy tax credits for the super rich.
- Democratic Sen. Dianne Feinstein may be in trouble for not taking a harder stance against Trump policies, but then again, it's California.
- Democrat Rob Quist received the blessing of Bernie Sanders this weekend ahead of the May 25 special election for Montana's sole Congressional seat.
- Before Newt Gingrich creeps his way to the Vatican where his wife will serve as Ambassador, he is clawing his way out from the muck to shamelessly mouth fake news conspiracy theory to the gang at Fox and Friends.
- Trump is asking the head of the Office of Government Ethics to not out the former lobbyists given the special A-OK to work in the White House or federal agencies because it might look really, really bad and expose government corruption (which is, you know, illegal).
- Scott Pruitt is playing favorites with the oil & gas industries lobbying to rape the natural world because - holy fuck, there are a lot of zeros on those checks for regulatory rollback!
- Most of the oil we'll get out of DAPL and the other 4,800 miles of oil pipeline being dragged across the states is going to be sold to Not America, so your gas-guzzling pick-ups should probably stop sucking it.
- Virginia's Confederate-loving gubernatorial candidate and comedic gold mine Corey Stewart went to a synagogue to blame antisemitism on Democrats, Louis Farrakhan, and Keith Ellison.
- Faux-nerd and FCC chair Ajit Pai is clearing a regulatory path for a conservative media conglomerate to spew right-wing garbage on local broadcast teevee (not just cable), giving your drunk uncle more options to reinforce racist, conspiratorial nonsense.
- During Trump's crowning as God-Emperor, the CEO of the worlds largest wine-and-whiskey barrel manufacturer was arrested for sexually assaulting two hotel workers in a "friendly gesture," and that's where the story starts.
- Richard Spencer lost his gym membership after a Georgetown professor confronted him for being a fucking Nazi, but it's cool because according to Trump, humans are like batteries and only have a finite amount of energy, ergo exercise is stupid because it will kill you.
- How much money is President Jared making off his father-in-law's White House puss-grabbing endeavors now that he's shuffled his business papers to hide all his private real estate holdings?
- Trumpkin goons and alt-right fascists are trying to ID, index, dox, and harass anti-Trump activists and #Resistance fighters with names, ages, addresses, phone and email, religion, work histories, and photos.
- There's an edit war on Wikipedia trying to scrub Joe Lieberman's law firm's ties to Trump right now, and information is pointing to the Director of Communications of the Cullman County Sheriff's Department, a Trump delegate who conveniently denies the charge.
- Milwaukee County Sheriff David Clarke plagiarized portions of his Master's thesis on homeland security from the Naval Postgraduate School in Monterey, California, ripping off at least 47 different sources, a violation, of the schools academic integrity policy. "INPEACH!" (Update: Clarke thinks the reporter is a "sleazebag" and, he's "on to him.")
- Marco Rubio put on his big boy pants and retractable spine to stand on a teevee soapbox and say the White House should stop being so dramatic, and that we should follow the Trump-Russia facts, "no matter what they are."
- REXXON and H.R. McMaster tried to spin Trump's decision to "You're Fired" James Comey as distractions from their real goal: cooperation.
- A bunch of ungrateful youths at Notre Dame walked out on their commencement address that featured Mike Pence as the speaker. Had they stayed, they would have heard Pence get all fussy about safe zones and political correctness. Ugh, he's such diva!
- White House staff and aides are lawyering up as they brace for subpoenas and grand jury summons, but rules governing free and discounted attorney fees are going to make it difficult to afford the legal representation.
- The malevolent teenaged spawn of Roger Ailes has sworn hellish vengeance against the media murder machines that killed his father like some meth addicted anime version of Inigo Montoya.
- And here's your late night wrap-up! John Oliver got real and 'splainered "Stupid Watergate" ramifications; Bill Maher channeled his butthurt about superheroes into a rational critique of Trump, and got into a slap fight with Cornel West over KKKillary; Chelsea Handler gave a brutal beatdown of Ivanka's collage of inspirational quotes; SNL announced that the Rock and Tom Hanks are definitely maybe/maybe not running for President in 2020.
- And here's your morning Nice Time! Baby Sengi! They're actually related to elephants!
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