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Yesterday's great big dipshit presser was the actual press briefing in more than 40 days, and Sarah Huckabee Sanders got most of the attention for saying you'll have to ask Democrats whether Donald Trump thinks Dems hate Jews. (Answer from a Democrat, me: He definitely thinks so if it gets applause.) But the presser started off with a pitch by Acting Director of the Office of Management and Budget Russell Vought, proclaiming that Donald Trump had met all his campaign promises by submitting a budget that, if enacted by Congress, will make the federal budget disappear eventually by slashing everything but the military. So please, nobody mention the debt-'sploding Big Fat Tax Cuts for Rich Fuckwads, OK -- they would pay for themselves, but Barack Obama and Congress -- controlled up to two months ago by Republicans -- eated all the money.

Here's the whole gory mess. We like Vought's big grin at "Happy Budget Day," since it may someday be the illustrative photo for "Death's-Head Rictus."


Live: White House Press Briefing - 3/11 www.youtube.com

But wait, Mr. Vought, what about Donald Trump's promise to eliminate the debt in eight years, not that anyone but idiots believed him?

As Salon notes, there's a bit of an economics problem with the accusation that Obama "doubled the national debt." Deficit spending was necessary to get us out of the Great Recession and keep the economy from going into a full-blown depression. Oh yes, and Vought is doing a little sleight of the Invisible Hand when he says Trump's first budget would have "balanced the budget" within 10 years (through massive cuts to everything except the military and giveaways to the rich). That would mean an end to the annual budget deficit, not the debt. And just a reminder: Republicans only pretend to give a shit about debt when they want to cut social programs. When the debt balloons because of tax cuts or military spending, it's wonderful!

Hell, Vought even defends deficit spending himself in the clip, except of course it's good and necessary when Trump does it, but it was terrible when Obama did. When the reporter notes the tax cuts and increased military spending added $2 trillion-with-a-t to the debt, Vought patiently explains that, for a few seconds at least, he's a Keynesian:

[Trump] also came into office and had an economic recovery that was needed, to put people back to work and get the economy going, and to rebuild the military, and had historic levels of military...

Why, yes, that is all a lie. Dude is literally claiming there was a recession when Trump took office -- that's the only thing that a "recovery" follows. We also like all that Congress-blaming, because damn that spendy Republican Congress, huh?

Then another reporter asked Vought how he could say "promises made, promises kept" when Trump's budget slashes Medicare by 10 percent (not that Congress will do that anyway). Surprise, just as we predicted, there are NO "CUTS" to Medicare in this budget, merely reductions in "waste, fraud, and abuse," and also magically lower prescription drug costs. OK, and cuts to the rates paid to hospitals, which aren't cuts, they're efficiencies, you know.

And going back to that bit about the need to stimulate the economy: Hey, if the economy is roaring along under Trump, why did he need to kick-start it with tax cuts that didn't decrease the deficit, and also didn't result in a bejillion new jobs? WHAR MASSIVE GROWTH? Well duh, of course the trickle-down magic only works if Congress slashes spending on anything that's not loved by Republicans, and next year we'll go through this whole stupid supply-side kindergarten pageant again.

[Salon / CBSN on Youtube / Aaron Rupar on Twitter]

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Doktor Zoom

Doktor Zoom's real name is Marty Kelley, and he lives in the wilds of Boise, Idaho. He is not a medical doctor, but does have a real PhD in Rhetoric. You should definitely donate some money to this little mommyblog where he has finally found acceptance and cat pictures. He is on maternity leave until 2033. Here is his Twitter, also. His quest to avoid prolixity is not going so great.

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Hooray, it's time for yet another dispatch from Fox News's big fun week of failure. (No, we mean even more failure than usual.) While all of Twitter is being annoying and talking incessantly about nothing but Bran and Daenerys and Carl and Peg or whoever they are, we have been (ignoring it and) focusing on all Fox's sadness, starting with Pete Buttigieg's town hall, where he called Fox News a piece of shit to its face. Then we laughed and laughed at Fox News idiot Pete Hegseth, who is sending lots of begging to today's college graduates, that they might immediately get dropped on their heads and forget all their education, so they might grow up to be the Fox News viewers of the future.

Oh, and we haven't even had a chance to LOL at the epic hilarity of Steve Doocy trying to do man-on-the-street interviews in Midtown Manhattan, shoving the mic into the faces of New Yorkers who literally don't care if he goes and plays in traffic. That was fun!

But the point of this post is that we have finally learned what makes at least some Fox News viewers tick, and it is that Tucker Carlson "laughs like a girl." That is not us saying that, that is a Fox News fan lady telling the Washington Post's Erik Wemple why she loves Tucker Carlson so much.

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Old White Guys Try To Explain Abortion

Throwing the baby out with the bathwater. It's your Sunday show rundown!

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Michael is out, so I'm taking over your Sunday Show Rundown. This week everyone was talking about those awful abortion laws worming their way through state legislatures. As usual, most of the men were tripping on their dicks while trying to talk about vag. Luckily, there's enough women around to ladysplain things.

Bernie Sanders went on Meet the Press for the first time in FOREVER and played his greatest hits for all the kids. Sanders criticized Joe Biden's environmental policy (which is literally just "beat Trump"), stating that it wasn't "good enough." Sanders is right! (NO FIGHTING.)

SANDERS: Beating Trump is not good enough. You have to beat the fossil fuel industry, you have to take on all the forces of the status quo who do not want to move this country to energy efficiency and sustainable energy.

But then Chuck Todd asked Bernie a loaded question about women getting "sex-selective" abortions and the whole interview went off the rails. Bernie struggled to answer the dumbass question and came across looking stupid despite having spent the better part of the last week in Alabama railing against abortion bans.

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