Trump Can’t Sleep, Too Busy President-ing Badly

Trump Can’t Sleep, Too Busy President-ing Badly

During an interview Friday at the Conservative Political Action Conference, Donald Trump's (acting) chief of staff Mick Mulvaney gave some lousy advice about the coronavirus, but he also took time to stroke the ego of the mad king. Mulvaney claimed that President Chucklehead doesn't need to sleep like mere mortals.

MULVANEY: Wednesday morning, [Trump] lands in the helicopter. He flew to India, did day and half of work, flew back, did not sleep on the flight home ... he's emailing, and texting, and taking phone calls ... He lands about 7:30 in the morning on Wednesday. He did that press conference Wednesday night ... he had not slept.

Mulvaney's fairy tale ends with Trump continuing to work into the night after that incoherent mess of a press conference. The president joked that he only has "eight years" to ruin the country and needs to "get as much out of it" as he can.

Trump is 73 years old, so it's hard to believe he doesn't need at least one disco nap to make it through the day. Lack of regular sleep is also detrimental to your immune system, which makes you more likely to get sick. We are dealing with a global pandemic here. The president could at least try to set a healthful example.

Americans, however, love their Protestant work ethic and many even boast about showing up at their job with a mild case of the plague. The sleep thing is weird, though, because it just reads to me as a major tell that someone is racked with guilt for their horrible crimes.

From Macbeth:

MACBETH: Methought I heard a voice cry "Sleep no more!
Macbeth does murder sleep," the innocent sleep,
Sleep that knits up the ravell'd sleeve of care
The death of each day's life, sore labour's bath,
Balm of hurt minds, great nature's second course,
Chief nourisher in life's feast.

LADY MACBETH: What do you mean?

MACBETH: Still it cried "Sleep no more!" to all the house:
“Glamis hath murder'd sleep, and therefore Cawdor
Shall sleep no more; Macbeth shall sleep no more.”

It’s silly to imagine that Trump has a conscience. He’s not tortured over the potential deaths that could result from his administration’s bungling of this crisis. Maybe he just watched a scary movie and is worried the Bogeyman will eat him.

Some publications have speculated that Trump snorts Adderall like it’s going out of style, but I’m not sure when Adderall was ever in style. One of the drug’s side effects is insomnia. However, what do I know. Trump could just be like Batman

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Stephen Robinson

Stephen Robinson is a writer and social kibbitzer based in Portland, Oregon. He writes make believe for Cafe Nordo, an immersive theatre space in Seattle. Once, he wrote a novel called “Mahogany Slade,” which you should read or at least buy. He's also on the board of the Portland Playhouse theatre. His son describes him as a “play typer guy."


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