Trump Caught Yanking The Bishop Of Rome. Wonkagenda For Wed., May 24, 2017
Imagine the "Curb Your Enthusiasm" theme.
Morning Wonketariat! Here's some of the things we may be talking about today.
- In his continuing quest to insult every major religion on the planet, Donald Trump had an awkward meeting with Pope Francis, and it was as tense as you'd think. Trump gave him MLK's "The Measure of a Man," because it's not like he was ever going to read it.
- When Trump took a phone call from Filipino President Rodrigo Duterte, he not only praised Duterte's "crackdown" (read: state-sanctioned murders) on illegal drugs, but he invited the dictator to the White House. Hopefully all that fellating green-lit Trump's trash palace in Manila.
- Trump is holding on to his lawyer Mark Kasowitz to help with the allegations of collusion during the 2016 campaign, and it's a good thing too since Kasowitz represents Russia's largest state-owned bank.
- The Senate Intel Committee has issued subpoenas on Mike Flynn's businesses seeing as how it's a hell of a lot harder for his checkbook to plead the Fifth.
- Republicans are ditching Trump's budget, and saying it's dead on arrival, but they do like all the parts about fucking the poor. Besides, it's not like they have a better idea.
- Trump's budget wants to "incentivize" state, local and private control of infrastructure like roads, hospitals, and airports, which is a swell idea if you're an ignorant jackass who doesn't understand how massive infrastructure projects and asset management actually work in small communities and large cities.
- Steve Mnuchin and House Republicans are at odds on how to best screw the poor and fellate their corporate overlords. On the one hand, there's Paul Ryan's tax reform for wealthy corporations, and on the other, Mnuchin's border adjustment tax, which are basically import tariffs.
- Hillary Clinton thinks Trump's budget shows an "unimaginable level of cruelty and lack of imagination and disdain for the struggles of millions of Americans, including millions of children." Coincidentally, millions of Americans and children didn't vote for Trump.
- Everyone on the Hill is bracing themselves for the new CBO score on RyanCare, aka TrumpCare/WealthCare/FuckThePoorsCare.
- The Fourth Circuit Court has revived Wikimedia's lawsuit against the NSA for illegal spying on Internet traffic running out of the United States. Hurray (sort of...)
- MORE GOOD NEWS! SCOTUS just slapped the shit out of patent trolls who try to stifle technology growth with garbage patent lawsuits, which will (hopefully) give start-ups some breathing room to grow.
- Republicans in Montana are fucking terrified that Rob Quist might actually win the MONTANA SPECIAL ELECTION ON THURSDAY, MAY 25, 2017, FROM 7:00 AM TO 8:00 PM MOUNTAIN TIME because his opponent is a white nationalist.
- The California Orange County Republican Party is trying to recall a Democratic state Senator because elections are apparently whenever the hell they want them to be.
- Poor murderous David Clarke! He is worried that he might not get his job at DHS because he's a plagiarist. To recap, Milwaukee County Sheriff David Clarke has committed torture, murder AND he's a liar.
- That Carrier plant Trump "saved" is going to "You're Fired" more workers right before Christmas now that nobody is paying attention. Thanks, Trump!
- After Fox retracted the fake Seth Rich conspiracy theory (that's now being pushed by the Russia embassy in the UK), Sean Hannity offered to be quiet (which is kind of an apology if you're a sociopath) but then decided to tweet, and retweet his own affirmation to continue mocking and parading the dead, just like Roger Ailes would have wanted. All this, despite his family's pleading.
- If you need a smile, go check out the Instagram account of Obama's White House Photographer, Pete Souza as he subtly trolls Trump every few days with a picture of Bamz.
- And here's your late night wrap-up! Conan O'Brien got hold of Trump's phone call with Putin; Seth Meyers had a quick Check In with how that whole drainy-swampy thingy was working; Jimmy Kimmel wondered what kind of risky business Sean Spicer's been up to while home alone; Stephen Colbert had a quick chat with "God," and some talky time with Kevin Spacey; and James Corden had some dogs in sunglasses
- And here's your morning Nice Time! NEWBORN clouded leopards!
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