Trump: NO CLOGGED TOILETS! NO CLOGGED TOILETS! MAGGIE HABERMAN IS THE CLOGGED TOILETS!

Donald Trump is so mad about all the reporting about him maybe stealing classified documents and taking them to Mar-a-Lago, and, when he was president, wadding up other documents and putting them in the potty in the White House with his Big Mac shits and clogging up the potty. So mad. Which probably means all of this is true, because A) he's the world's most prolific liar and B) it's always a pretty good guess that the louder he's screaming, the truer the allegations are.

Scream, loser, scream:


Following collaborative and respectful discussions, the National Archives and Records Administration (NARA) openly and willingly arranged with President Trump for the transport of boxes that contained letters, records, newspapers, magazines, and various articles.

Poor thing is referring to himself in the third person with a title that no longer applies to him.

Some of this information will someday be displayed in the Donald J. Trump Presidential Library for the public to view my Administration’s incredible accomplishments for the American People.

"Library." That's where you put hurricane maps toddler-brained former presidents drew dicks on. The "library."

The media’s characterization of my relationship with NARA is Fake News. It was exactly the opposite! It was a great honor to work with NARA to help formally preserve the Trump Legacy.

That must be why the National Archives asked the Department of Justice for help, since they thought there was classified material in the boxes they recovered from Trump's Florida meth trailer.

The papers were given easily and without conflict and on a very friendly basis, which is different from the accounts being drawn up by the Fake News Media.

We will never get over how braindead his command of the English language is.

In fact, it was viewed as routine and "no big deal." In actuality, I have been told I was under no obligation to give this material based on various legal rulings that have been made over the years.

In fact. In actuality. "Unnecessary quotation marks."

Crooked Hillary Clinton, as an example, deleted and acid washed 32,000 emails and never gave that to the government.

Acid washed them. Like 1980s blue jeans.

Also was Crooked Hillary Clinton, as an example, ever president? No. Trump's benefactors in Russia helped make sure she wasn't. Does the Presidential Records Act therefore apply to her?

Then, they took large amounts of furniture out of the White House.

Hillary acid washed 32,000 emails and then "they" took furniture out of the White House.

Donald Trump: He knows the order in which things happened.

And Bill Clinton kept numerous audio recordings that the archives wanted, but were unsuccessful at getting after going to court. We won't even mention what is going on with the White House in the current, or various past administrations.

By all means.

Also, another fake story, that I flushed papers and documents down a White House toilet, is categorically untrue and simply made up by a reporter in order to get publicity for a mostly fictitious book.

We hear certain corners of Twitter are aflutter yelling at Maggie Haberman for holding back for her book information about Trump putting documents in his Squatty Potty. Moot point, since here's Trump saying she made it up for publicity for her mostly fictitious book. Bet everybody who spent the morning arguing on Twitter feels dumb now!

The Democrats are just using this and the Unselect Committee of political hacks as a camoflauge for how horribly our Country is doing under the Biden Administration.

That is a very good try at spelling "camouflage." In fact, we wouldn't have expected him to get that close.

In the United States there has unfortunately become two legal standards, one for Republicans and one for Democrats. It should not be that way!

"In the United States there has unfortunately become." Good words, man, good words.

Well, this has been a nice visit with Old Grandpa Full Toilets. We'll check back in with him after the next avalanche of fake news about his mishandling of classified documents and White House plumbing comes out.

[h/t Joe.My.God]

Follow Evan Hurst on Twitter right here!

Wonkette is funded ENTIRELY by a few thousand people like you. If you're not already, would you pls consider being the few thousandth and one?

How often would you like to donate?

Select an amount (USD)


Do your Amazon shopping through this link, because reasons.

Evan Hurst

Evan Hurst is the managing editor of Wonkette, which means he is the boss of you, unless you are Rebecca, who is boss of him. His dog Lula is judging you right now.

Follow him on Twitter RIGHT HERE.

Donate

How often would you like to donate?

Select an amount (USD)

Newsletter

©2018 by Commie Girl Industries, Inc