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Donald Trump is a gross person who says gross things, which is why exactly no one will be shocked and/or surprised to hear all the gross things Donald Trump was recorded saying about women on a hot mic while preparing for an appearance on "Access Hollywood" with Billy Bush.

Trump was being taped to promote a cameo he was doing on "Days of Our Lives" in 2005, and had some pretty heinous and rapey comments about women, including a married woman he says he tried to "fuck." He had attempted to worm his way in, it seems, by taking her to see some nice furniture, but -- believe it or not -- was rejected. That same woman later had the gall to get breast implants. The video of the discussion was obtained by the Washington Post, and you can click over there to go see it for yourself. I do, however, recommend taking some Dramamine beforehand to combat the nausea you will certainly feel upon viewing it.

In that audio, Trump discusses a failed attempt to seduce a woman, whose full name is not given in the video.

“I moved on her and I failed. I’ll admit it,” Trump is heard saying. It was unclear when the events he was describing took place. The tape was recorded several months after he married his third wife, Melania.

“Whoa,” another voice said.

“I did try and f--- her. She was married,” Trump says.

Trump continues: “And I moved on her very heavily. In fact, I took her out furniture shopping. She wanted to get some furniture. I said, ‘I’ll show you where they have some nice furniture.’”

“I moved on her like a bitch, but I couldn’t get there. And she was married,” Trump says. “Then all of a sudden I see her, she’s now got the big phony tits and everything. She’s totally changed her look.”

Wow! Can you believe? A woman somehow resisted Trump's ploy of sexy furniture shopping, and then went and got breast implants. What a great and compelling story that is. He is clearly a man with a lot of respect for the institution of marriage.

Upon spotting Arianne Zucker, who plays Nicole Walker on Days, Bush and Trump began commenting on her appearance, and Trump started talking about how women will let him do anything to them because he is a STAR.

“Your girl’s hot as s---, in the purple,” says Bush, who’s now a co-host of NBC’s “Today” show.

“Whoa!” Trump says. “Whoa!”

“I’ve gotta use some tic tacs, just in case I start kissing her,” Trump says.“You know I’m automatically attracted to beautiful -- I just start kissing them. It’s like a magnet. Just kiss. I don’t even wait.”

“And when you’re a star they let you do it,” Trump says. “You can do anything.”

“Whatever you want,” says another voice, apparently Bush’s.

“Grab them by the p---y,” Trump says. “You can do anything.”

I am reasonably sure that there is not a Tic Tac in the world that could make the idea of kissing Donald Trump any less nauseating. I am also reasonably sure that most women are not interested in being "grabbed by the pussy." That is also, I imagine, not a thing that would occur to anyone to do unless they had absolutely zero respect for women.

In a super dumb statement, Trump told the Post it was just "locker room" talk and that he had totally heard Bill Clinton say WAY worse things on the golf course, SO THERE.

“This was locker room banter, a private conversation that took place many years ago. Bill Clinton has said far worse to me on the golf course - not even close... I apologize if anyone was offended.”

HAHA. It is totally cool to say gross things like "grab them by the pussy" so long as you are just locker room bantering with your bro Billy Bush. That is a totally acceptable way to talk about women. As long as you don't say it in front of a woman, it doesn't count! It's like that "tree falling in a forest" thing!

In conclusion, "grab her by the pussy" was a thing Donald Trump said.

[Washington Post]

Robyn Pennacchia

Robyn Pennacchia is a brilliant, fabulously talented and visually stunning angel of a human being, who shrugged off what she is pretty sure would have been a Tony Award-winning career in musical theater in order to write about stuff on the internet. Previously, she was a Senior Staff Writer at Death & Taxes, and Assistant Editor at The Frisky (RIP). Currently, she writes for Wonkette, Friendly Atheist, Quartz and other sites. Follow her on Twitter at @RobynElyse

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Remember a few weeks ago when House Judiciary Committee Chair Jerry Nadler sent a very nice and loving request to 81 people and entities associated with Donald Trump, including the White House, asking to please FUCKING GIVE IT a million documents, in order to aid Judiciary's investigation into Trump's millions of crimes? Well, the deadline was Monday, and some folks are helping! Others are not!

According to Nadler, they've already gotten "tens of thousands" of documents, and all signs point to more document requests coming, to approximately one million more people. There have been some surprises, too. Steve Bannon is helping a LOT, turning over thousands of pages (which is perhaps too much if you've ever seen that episode of "The West Wing," where CJ Cregg talks about being so crazy over-compliant with Congress that they just snow down investigators with everything, including take-out menus and junk mail). Trump Inauguration weirdo/longtime associate Tom Barrack is helping, and Hope Hicks is also too gonna be a good little helper. And so on!

And some are asking for "friendly subpoenas," like for instance attorney Keith Davidson, who used to rep Stormy Daniels and Karen McDougal, who's asking for that in order to "formalize the process," as Politico puts it. (Some people don't like being asked nicely.)

Still others are saying straight up NO, and some of them have better reasons than others. Roger Stone is pleading the Fifth on advice of counsel because, you know, he's in trouble with the law right now. Rick Gates says he can't really help, citing how he is still a cooperating witness who is very business hunting wabbits in multiple ongoing investigations. And Julian Assange said no, because (LOL) he is a journalist, you guys, and Congress shouldn't subpoena journalists about their sources. (Actually WikiLeaks is a cut-out for Russian intelligence. Which is kind of like "journalist," except not remotely.)

But the real story here is that the White House, in response to pretty much every document request it's gotten, is saying "FUCK OFF! WE ARE GOING TO DO THE WATERGATE THING! IT WORKED OUT VERY WELL, IN WATERGATE! FUCK IT, LET'S DO THE WATERGATE THING!"

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