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This morning, before anyone was able to finish their first cup of coffee, Trump started railing against reports about his mental instability. In a series of tweets, Trump boasted about how he's a "a very stable genius" and, "like, really smart."

Trump's frostbitten butthurt is clearly aimed at Michael Wolff's new book, "Fire and Fury," which quotes a number of aides as calling him A Idiot, a moran, and, "dumb as shit." At first, we thought maybe Trump read a story from earlier in the week about how Congress secretly met with a head shrink from Yale who warned that Trump is already unraveling, noting his conspiracy peddling and brain farts as evidence, but that's not possible since Trump doesn't read. If he did, he might know that Ronald Reagan actually did have Alzheimer's.

“We feel that the rush of tweeting is an indication of his falling apart under stress. Trump is going to get worse and will become uncontainable with the pressures of the presidency.”

Trump is currently at Camp David making the Secret Service taste test his airdropped Egg McMuffins, and he dragged a bunch of Republicans with him. It's supposed to be a "working weekend," you can tell because some intern tweeted out a photo of them at big table talking about infrastructure, building his stupid wall, and winning bigly in the 2018 midterms.

One face NOT at the table is Jeff Sessions, that's because he wasn't invited to Trump's Siberian slumber party. Sessions is apparently still on Trump's list of bad hombres after recusing himself from the Trump-Russia investigation last year. There's also been calls from Trumplandia for Sessions to be "You're Fired" for being bad at lawyering for Donald Trump. The rumor mill on the Hill has it that Trump has locked his brain trust inside a cabin in the woods in order to murder all the Trump-Russia investigations.

Since Trump's tweets are only window into what's actually going on in Maryland's frozen mountains, we'll just have assume that Trump, is "like, really smart," perhaps even a "genius," and that there's nothing sinister going on in that secluded cabin in the woods.

[NY Times]

Dominic Gwinn

Dominic is a broke journalist in Chicago. You can find him in a dirty bar talking to weirdos, or lying in a gutter taking photos.

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THAT HEADLINE IS A LIE.

Anyway, it is time to count down your top ten stories. You will notice that in this post there is a video of Wonkette Toddler at the lake doing lake things, and also a picture of Rebecca's Very Good Dogs watching their favorite movie, which is Wonkette Toddler eating a sandwich (above). Please enjoy these things.

OK, top ten!

Stories chosen by Beyoncé, as per usual:

1. Even Fox News Can't Make Finland Trump-Shits Smell Like Roses :(

2. Dickish Trump Is Even A Dick To That Nice Old Lady From The Crown

3. Where In The World Is Michael Avenatti? He Is In London Having Tea With The Queen!

4. From Russia With Lube

5. WHAT THE HOLY MOTHERFUCKING FUCK WAS THAT TRUMP-PUTIN PRESS CONFERENCE?

6. Can We Talk About The Utter Sadness Of Breitbart's Melania Fashion Coverage?

7. Christian Lady Being A Dipshit Again

8. President Words-Stupid Sorry For Being Total Fuck-Up Just This One Time Ever

9. Deleted Comments: We Gave God The Banhammer

10. Strzok Out With Your Cock Out: The 5 Best Moments From Yesterday's Peter Strzok Shitshow

So there you go. Those are your top ten most clicked upon stories, according to Beyoncé. They are very good stories!

OH HEY, one more thing. Know how Wonkette is fully funded by readers like you, like we mentioned above, and that's how we have salaries and servers and healthcare and liquor? If you want Wonkette to be here FOREVER, you gotta help us out, so won't you click here to do a $10 donation, or even better, a monthly subscription? WE LOVE YOU, YOU PAY OUR RENT.

As promised, kid pic and video from LAKE TIME:

OK that's all.

Yours in baby Jesus,

Wonkette

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Facebook video screenshot

Corey Stewart, the Minnesota transplant to Virginia who's made protecting "Confederate Heritage" a top issue in his campaign for the US Senate, accused a nosy New York Times reporter of breaking into the apartment of one of his aides. It's a terrific accusation, because while there's no evidence at all and the story makes no damn sense, that doesn't matter at all to people who'd vote for Corey Stewart. They already hate the evil media and know those nasty reporters are capable of all the depravity in the world.

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