Is Donald Trump scared of Smokin' Joe Biden? We personally avoid searching for any rational motives behind Trump's spontaneous verbal farts. However, Trump directly responded to Biden's campaign launch video from yesterday. Remember, there are 20 Democrats running for president and almost all of them have stated that Trump is a racist embarrassment, unfit to govern a country that still leads the world in Avengers movies. How did Biden provoke the sundowner in chief? He attacked the president's horrific handling of the 2017 Charlottesville Klan-bake.

BIDEN: We saw Klansmen and white supremacists and neo-Nazis come out in the open, their crazed faces illuminated by torches, veins bulging, and bearing the fangs of racism. Chanting the same anti-Semitic bile heard across Europe in the '30s. And they were met by a courageous group of Americans, and a violent clash ensued, and a brave young woman lost her life.

And that's when we heard the words from the president of the United States that stunned the world and shocked the conscience of this nation. He said there were 'some very fine people on both sides.' Very fine people on both sides?

With those words, the president of the United States assigned a moral equivalence between those spreading hate and those with the courage to stand against it. And in that moment, I knew the threat to this nation was unlike any I had ever seen in my lifetime.

No wonder Trump's pissed. He's committed at least a dozen more racist acts since then. He's referred to brown nations as "shitholes" and separated families at the border. His actual policies directly resulted in the deaths of two children. Why is Biden criticizing his "Hard Day's Night" period when he's already moved on to "Sgt. Pepper"?

This morning, Trump defended his racist statements -- the ones from 2017, about Charlottesville, if you're trying to keep track. We think it's weird that Trump let Biden control the conversation. Most Republicans at the time supported Trump's Charlottesville response, because most Republicans are terrible. Maybe Trump wants to let his faithful deplorables know he's still got their back and they shouldn't pay attention to the other incredibly old white man behind the curtain.

TRUMP: If you look at what I said you will see that that question was answered perfectly.

This is how the president of the United States speaks.

TRUMP: I was talking about people that went because they felt very strongly about the monument to Robert E. Lee, a great general.

See, Trump wasn't defending Nazis. He was defending supporters of a slave-holding white supremacist traitor. Those are the "very fine people" he meant. And how many of them were Nazis? That Venn Diagram is probably a circle. But Trump wants you to know Robert E. Lee "was a great general, whether you like it or not." It's sometimes hard to tell with Trump in office, but Lee lost the War of Southern Secession. Still, Trump insists that Lee is the general of generals.

TRUMP: I've spoken to many generals here, right at the White House, and ... of the generals, many think that maybe [Lee] was their favorite general.

The president plays "Who's Your Favorite General?" with actual generals? We bet he's tacky enough to open with "besides yourself...." That's so insulting. Give someone the benefit of assuming they're not an egomaniac.

Now, protesting the removal of monuments to racists who waged war against America is the sort of thing that can easily put you in common cause with Nazis. After all, they're also racists who've historically waged war against America. The two groups are a solid match on OKRacist. Even a Fox News reporter yesterday called out the Lee excuse as bullshit, and Lee himself was racist bullshit.

LEE: I think it [slavery] however a greater evil to the white than to the black race, & while my feelings are strongly enlisted in behalf of the latter, my sympathies are more strong for the former. The blacks are immeasurably better off here than in Africa, morally, socially & physically. The painful discipline they are undergoing, is necessary for their instruction as a race, & I hope will prepare & lead them to better things.

Sure, that looks bad, but Lee did come in a strong second in the Civil War. Fortunately for enslaved black people, the Electoral College didn't determine the winner.

Relitigating Charlottesville does help steer the news cycle away from Trump the criminal to Trump the bigot. Mike Pence won't need to pardon him for the latter. Also, the majority of Virginians support keeping the Confederate memorials in place with middle fingers extended to black residents. If Biden is the eventual nominee, that likely puts Pennsylvania firmly out of reach, so Trump might want to make a play for Virginia. Remember Governor Blackface and Lt. Governor (Alleged) Rapist are both Democrats and both somehow still in office.

It won't be boring. Buy a T-shirt.


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Stephen Robinson

Stephen Robinson is a writer and social kibbitzer based in Seattle. However, he's more reliable for food and drink recommendations in Portland, where he spends a lot of time for theatre work. His co-adaptation of "Jitterbug Perfume" by Tom Robbins is playing NOW at Pioneer Square's Cafe Nordo. All Wonketters welcome.

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Once upon a time... about ten years ago, a group of entirely ridiculous men burst onto the scene wearing stupid hats and telling men that wearing stupid hats and telling men that walking up to women in bars and insulting ("negging") them would get them laid. This did not last long, as women also had televisions and computers and were completely aware of these tricks as well, so when some ass came up to us in a bar and said "Hey, nice nails, are they real?" we would laugh and laugh and loudly announce "Oh my god, this guy just tried to neg me! Can you believe that shit? HEY EVERYONE, THIS GUY JUST TRIED TO NEG ME!" and then refer to him as "Mystery" the whole night.

Most of the men who tried that shit only did so a few times before realizing that it wasn't going to work, and thus moved on to other things. Perhaps things that did not involve furry hats and coming off as a huge creep. We may never know, because I would assume that those who tried it are now extremely embarrassed and would never, ever admit to this to us.

Still, there were a few men willing to eat that shit up, as well as some grifters willing to take advantage of that. Said grifters tended to be extremely misogynistic and seemed more like they were teaching men how to be as despised by women as they were than teaching them how to actually be liked by women.

Some of them, like Roosh V, a creepy weirdo who actually does live in his mom's basement, actively encouraged men to rape women who were intoxicated to the point of being obviously unable to consent.

However, even that branch of the PUA tree is wilting away. Many "self-help" style PUA forums like Nextasf and RSDnation are shutting down or have already shut down. In March, Chateau Heartiste, a batshit crazy PUA turned White Nationalist/Alt-Right blog was shut down by Wordpress. This week, rape advocate Roosh V (whom you may recall once called yours truly a "Wonkette typist/clown face, would not bang") announced that he was renouncing his PUA ways and devoting himself to Jesus. He explained to the forum he manages that he would no longer be allowing anyone to discuss premarital "fornication."

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'Baby Geniuses' star Jon Voight took to Twitter early this morning to proclaim his undying love for Donald Trump, probably because there is no one left in his life who will listen to him talk about this, or anything else, in person. In this video rant, Voight encouraged members of the Republican Party, whom he apparently thinks are the only real citizens of the United States, to stand by Donald Trump and "acknowledge the truth" that he is the best President since Abraham Lincoln.

Part ONE:

People of the Republican Party, I know you will agree with me when I say our president has our utmost respect and our love. This job is not easy. For he's battling the left and their absurd words of destruction. I've said this once and I'll say this again. That our nation has been built on the solid ground from our forefathers, and there is a moral code of duty that has been passed on from President Lincoln. I'm here today to acknowledge the truth, and I'm here today to tell you my fellow Americans that our country…

Oh no, not our absurd words of destruction!

Part DEUX:

is stronger, safer, and with more jobs because our President has made his every move correct. Don't be fooled by the political left, because we are the people of this nation that is witnessing triumph. So let us stand with our president. Let us stand up for this truth, that President Trump is the greatest president since President Lincoln.

Does Jon Voight not know there have been... other presidents? Can he name them? Because really, it does not sound like it. Does he also not know that a very big chunk of the Republican Party actually does not care very much for Abraham Lincoln? Namely those defenders of Confederate statues that Trump called "very fine people?" Also, did he intentionally diss their beloved Ronald Reagan?

Who can know? Who can even tell what he is trying to say or why he is trying to say it. He doesn't appear to have tweeted much since 2016, so I'm guessing whoever's job it was to keep him from tanking his career quit. Either that... or after filming the seventh season of Ray Donovan, he found out it's going to be canceled or his character is getting killed off or something and he is now free to be a jackass? I don't know, I haven't watched the show, although my parents are very into it and mad that I haven't watched it. Literally all I know about it is that it has something to do with Boston, because they keep mentioning that to me like it's a selling point.

It seems useless at this point to note that the people who scream their faces off about how bad it is for Hollywood celebs to support liberal causes, and how they should keep their politics to themselves, etc. etc. make a way bigger deal than normal people do whenever a Big Time Hollywood Celebrity like Jon Voight or, uh, Scott Baio, supports their cause. Mostly because they're the only ones who have elected a reality TV star and the star of Bedtime for Bonzo (who by the way, also once practically ruined a perfectly good Bette Davis movie with his bad acting. Which is not to say that Dark Victory is not fantastic and probably the best thing to watch if you want to sob your face off, but he was very bad in it.) to run the country.

But we might as well do that anyway, because it actually never stops being funny.

[Jon Voight Twitter]

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