Trump Didn't Talk To Putin About Russian Bounties On American Troops, Must Have Slipped His Very Good Brain

Hey did you forget the biggest story of three weeks ago, about how Donald Trump and his administration knew Vladimir Putin was most likely paying Taliban fighters to murder American troops in Afghanistan, and Trump couldn't even be bothered to slap Putin on the wrist? This happened, as far as we can tell, because A) Trump doesn't really care about dead American troops' bodies, just like he obviously doesn't care about Americans dying of coronavirus, and B) he is in awe of Vladimir Putin, who controls and/or scares him. That's whatcha get when you allow an un-American compromised crybaby shitheel to live in the Oval Office.

We haven't forgotten the story, and thank God, the "Axios on HBO" people didn't either. In an interview, they asked Trump if on his many recent phone calls with Putin, he thought to raise the issue of Putin paying Taliban fighters actual money to murder American troops.


Trump says he didn't bring up Russian bounty scheme on Vladimir Putin

TRUMP: I have never discussed it with him.

He added:

That was a phone call to discuss other things, and frankly that's an issue that many people said was fake news.

Oh. They were just talking about other things. It didn't come up. "Many people" -- the voices in his head, not the intelligence community, where many people feel quite strongly that it's very true! -- said it was fake news. No big deal. (Apparently not thinking it is fake news? Mike Pompeo's State Department, which has issued warnings to Russia through diplomatic channels, according to a breaking story this morning in the Daily Beast.)

And it's not just this most recent sexxx chat they had last Thursday, he's never discussed it. Axios notes that they've talked on the phone EIGHT TIMES (that we know of) since that special day when Diamond and Silk and Dadbod Superman visited the White House in February, when it was definitely in Trump's Presidential Daily Brief. And he was definitely orally briefed on it a few weeks ago, which is before last Thursday in calendar time.

And why? Aside from how he probably doesn't care if American troops get murdered, unless it directly affects his re-election chances? Oh well, Trump says in this past call they were talking about nuclear proliferation, because that's a "very big problem, bigger problem than global warming, a much bigger problem than global warming when it comes to the real world." Also he bitched that nobody ever talks about China, it is always just "Russia, Russia, Russia," which has zero to do with what we were talking about.

Don't worry, though, he reads his briefing books, and that's why he knows all the people in the intel community who are pretty certain Russia is paying these bounties are fake news:

I do, I read a lot, I read a lot, they like to say I don't read, I read a lot, I comprehend extraordinarily well, probably better than anybody you've interviewed in a long time ...

And besides, he can do Person. Woman. Man. TV ... [pause] ... Camera! What more do you need? You know, besides a president who can be bothered to get off of Putin's lap to care enough whether Russia is paying Taliban fighters to murder Americans.

(Also he is lying about reading his briefing books.)

It bears noting here that there are a couple other Russia Is Our Sworn Enemy, And So Is Donald Trump stories out there right now.

The AP reports that "Russian intelligence services are using a trio of English-language websites to spread disinformation about the coronavirus pandemic, seeking to exploit a crisis that America is struggling to contain ahead of the presidential election in November," according to US officials. So that's interesting. (And no, Donald Trump's Twitter feed is not one of the websites.)

Meanwhile, the Trump administration is going ahead with giving Putin a big wet open-mouthed kiss on his fanny by pulling a ton of US troops out of Germany. Secretary of Defense Mark Esper said it will do the opposite of that, because he's full of shit:

Esper told a Pentagon briefing that the move would benefit Washington's strategic interests abroad, strengthening NATO and deterring Russia, and equipping the military for "a new era of great power competition."

Yeah, no, and also that's not why Trump says he's doing this. He hates Angela Merkel, and he fundamentally has no fucking clue how NATO works, so he's doing it because he thinks Germany doesn't "pay its fair share" for NATO.

Anyway, we don't know if Trump and Putin talked about that stuff on their call, but if they did, he probably told Putin to keep it up with the coronavirus disinfo. Maybe he asked Putin if he's heard of this really cool Doctor Demon Jizz lady, who knows the coolest things about hydroxychloroqouine and demon jizz. And if they talked about the German troop withdrawal, Trump probably was really needy, begging Putin to tell him if he heard about the present Trump is sending him, and asking if he liked it.

But Russians paying actual bounties to Taliban fighters to murder American troops?

Nah, didn't come up.

The election is in 96 days. Today you should make a list of five people who usually don't vote, that you're going to help get to the polls this year.

[Axios / NBC News]

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Evan Hurst

Evan Hurst is the managing editor of Wonkette, which means he is the boss of you, unless you are Rebecca, who is boss of him. His dog Lula is judging you right now.

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