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Donald Trump took to the Twitter Box this morning to proclaim that his visit to console the grieving families of Pittsburgh was a HUGE SUCCESS yesterday, because it went just fine for him, and therefore there is no reason to think his visit was anything other than yet another triumph. The thousands who protested Trump's visit and condemned his hatemongering may have disagreed, but honestly, they're just fake news and malcontents, aren't they?

After all, if Donald Trump didn't see a protest that was very far away -- again, thousands of protesters, one block north of the Tree of Life synagogue -- then it was very small and pretty much didn't happen at all, right?


So much warm respect and niceness for the Office of the President! And yet the shameful media lied, reporting that there were thousands of people in the streets and interviewing them and filming them, as if they even existed at all. BAD! This was a visit to bring America together, and dammit, America was brought together, although the White House neglected to invite the area's Democratic congressman, Mike Doyle, along for the trip, and also didn't invite Pennsylvania's Democratic US senator, Bob Casey, either, because why would they even bother? An invitation was made to Republican Sen. Pat Toomey, although a spokesperson said Toomey had other commitments already on his schedule.

The hastily arranged trip did at least extend an invite to the four top congressional leaders -- Senators Mitch McConnell and Chuck Schumer, and Representatives Paul Ryan and Nancy Pelosi, which was all the Democrats they could stomach, apparently (all four declined).

Puittsburgh Mayor Bill Peduto, a Democrat, had asked Trump to please just stay away until all the victims of the massacre had been buried, saying "all attention [Tuesday] should be on the victims." A spokesperson for Peduto said he had been invited, but he had declined.

Also, the family of at least one of the victims refused to meet with Trump, citing his suggestion that the massacre could have been avoided if the congregation had armed guards to protect it from a heavily armed guy who shot up several cops after killing the Jews because George Soros was polluting America with immigrants, a conspiracy hoax Donald Trump has spread. The family of Daniel Stein, 71, just didn't see how more guns always make things better, so they declined to meet with the Great Man:

"Everybody feels that they were inappropriate," said Stephen Halle, Stein's nephew. "He was blaming the community."

Still, Press Secretary Sarah Sanders insisted the "presidential" visit was both very much wanted and very enthusiastic, kind of, because leaders of the synagogue helped with the planning once it was clear Trump would show up.

"He was also asked to come by some," she told reporters. "Look, the president wanted to show his respect on behalf of the entire country, and to represent the country in this moment and be there to show our support."

You people better remember: He's president of ALL of America, whether you like it or not, and any suggestion that there were protests (which were tiny and a very far block away) is DISGRACEFUL, shame on you for not grieving right and dragging politics into an act of political terrorism against your community.

[Donald Trump lying on Twitter / CBS Pittsburgh / WaPo / Haaretz / CNN]

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Doktor Zoom

Doktor Zoom's real name is Marty Kelley, and he lives in the wilds of Boise, Idaho. He is not a medical doctor, but does have a real PhD in Rhetoric. You should definitely donate some money to this little mommyblog where he has finally found acceptance and cat pictures. He is on maternity leave until 2033. Here is his Twitter, also. His quest to avoid prolixity is not going so great.

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How do you do, fellow libs? We come together tonight to cheer and clap and cry and laugh, with our leader, Elizabeth Warren, and her fellow nice people Jay Inslee (the gold standard in climate action), Beto O'Rourke (excellent on being a good ally mostly), Cory Booker (best corny love hippie but also Wall Street, it's weird), Julian Castro (I don't know, people are super into him despite his creepy twinness and his too much pomade), Amy Klobuchar (bad bitch), Bill de Blasio ( ... ), John Delaney (???), and Tim Ryan and Tulsi Gabbard.

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We know, the thing we said in our headline is a thing you can say every day, but it's really intense today, maybe because Donald Trump is now filled with fear of the inescapable reality that millions of Americans who have not read the Mueller Report are going to see Robert Mueller testify on live TV on July 17, and Donald Trump will be exposed. Maybe the Big Mac vending machine next to his golden toilet is on the fritz and he hasn't had gotten to eat a Big Mac on the poop chair since last night. Maybe he's just a weak and sad person, a collection of shithole cells God meant to throw in the garbage, but accidentally implanted in Mary Trump's turkey incubator. We imagine that'd lead to a pretty constant state of anxiety and ennui.

Whatever it is, he's totally fucked right now. We were going to write a nice post about Trump's batshit interview on Fox Business with Maria Bartiromo, but we were busy, and by the time we got to it, he had performed so many batshit feats that we're just going to stick them all in this one post.

Let's start with the fight he's trying to wage with US soccer star Megan Rapinoe, who in a now-viral video stated that she has no fuckin' interest in going to the White House to meet that idiot. He got into a quarrel with her on Twitter ... or at least with a Twitter account that didn't belong to her. It's now been replaced, in order that the adult president may shit-tweet at the soccer superstar who hurt his feelings, but Splinter grabbed the original:

The rant continued:

Right. And Megan Rapinoe just said win or lose, she has no interest in meeting your crusty ass, because no decent American would consider that an honor.

Besides, she has already been to the White House to meet a legitimately elected president:

By the by, the owner of the incorrect Megan Rapinoe account saw Trump's whining and told him to grow a dick and set it on fire:

Ya burnt!

But as we said, it was a whole day of batshit from Trump, so let's continue.

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