Trump: Me, Impeached? LOOK, A TERRORIST PRAYER RUG!
President Grampa took to the Twitter Machine to again make the case that we need WALL to protect us from all the scary terrorists streaming into our country, repeating a completely hearsay story from the rightwing Washington Examiner about a rancher in New Mexico who says she has personally seen a lot of "Muslim prayer rugs" discarded in the desert. It's simply logic: Scary Muslim terrists are secretly infiltrating our country through the southern border, and we can tell because they casually cast aside their extremist Muslim religious accoutrements for any rando to find. That suggests either terribly lax operational security on the part of the terrists, or maybe just proves how brazen they are, leaving their jihad rugs right out for anyone to see.
There's a third possibility, which is that people are repeating some serious bullshit fresh from the border panic of 2014, and insisting any random scrap of fabric in the desert is a "prayer rug." But come on, that's surely a stretch. Errebody knows Obama allowed ISIS to operate "22 training camps" right here in the USA, and how else would all those terrists get here if not by sneaking up from the border, except not very sneakily?
Here's Trump's dumb tweet about those scary prayery rugs:
The Washington Examiner piece is awfully long on assertions and awfully short on evidence. The paper spoke to a rancher living in Animas, New Mexico, not far from the Lordsburg Port of Entry (where seven-year-old Jakeline Caal was detained before dying of dehydration last month). The rancher, who "asked to remain anonymous for fear of retaliation by cartels," explained she has heard from trustworthy Border Patrol agents that there are just OODLES of Middle Easterners crossing the border these days. Look, here is some shocking video of her not showing us any terrorists or their prayer rugs either!
So I obviously don't have any proof of it, but I've talked to several agents that I trust [...] the percentage of what Border Patrol classifies as OTM [other than Mexicans] has really increased in the last couple years, but drastically within the last six months. Chinese, Germans, Russians, a lot of Middle Easterns, Middle Easterners, those Czechoslovakians they caught over on our neighbor's just last summer.
Yes, yes, "Czechoslovakia" ceased to be in 1993, but don't nitpick, they were from around that part of the Soviet Union anyway is her point.
In any case, she KNOWS there are terrorists coming in, because she lives there and that's how she knows.
There's a lot of people coming in from not just from Mexico. People, the general public, just don't get the terrorist facts of that. That's what's really scary. You don't know what's coming across. We've found prayer rugs out here. It's unreal. It's not just Mexican nationals that are coming over.
Well, no, she's never actually seen anyone like that, though she has occasionally seen Messicans and Central Americans, but she knows the terrorists are there because she knows they're there. SHE HAS SEEN PRAYER RUGS!
Oh, but never, like, brought one out of the desert, because physical evidence is hard to do. Maybe she worries about getting blowed up by a Muslim prayer rug booby trap, for all we know.
Besides, the Liberal Media would just mock her, like the liberal media mocked Breitbart in 2014 for deciding a "Muslim prayer rug" wasn't really what you'd call a "shirt."
As Adam Weinstein, then with Gawker, noted, the Muslim Prayer Rug looked to be made out of torn shirt material and 1) had a waist hemline, 2) sleeve openings, and 3) had a pattern that looked a lot to him like an Adidas knock-off soccer jersey for Arsenal F.C.
As Weinstein noted on the Twitters today, the resurfacing of that old bullshirt as 2019 executive office gospel would have provoked a bit of a stress reaction in his 2014 self:
As we pointed out at the time, though, just because it wasn't proof of ISIS infiltration, there was still plenty of reason for fear, because what if our borders are being overrun by dangerous English footy hooligans????
In any case, now that the guy with the nuclear codes is recycling old bullshit from the border panic of 2014, we can only assume he'll also demand to know why this guy with an ISIS logo on his outfit is still running around free after being photographed in a Houston deli.
As the geniuses who posted that thing back in 2014 noted, when you ENHANCE (or really, add in a stock image) that blurry logo, it's clearly an ISIS uniform, which your average ISIS infiltrator wears out in public while plotting terrorism.
Also, burglars in their world wear little black masks black and white striped tops, and carry sacks of money with dollar bill signs on 'em.
Oh, yeah, and about those "22 ISIS training camps" Trump insisted Obama was allowing to operate in the USA. You might think that, once he became "president," they'd have all been raided? Or maybe someone finally told him it was all bullshit based on a 2005 white-collar crime report about financial crimes in the '80s and '90s, some of which were related to fundraising for foreign radicals. Sorry, no infiltrators to arrest.
Not that mere reality gets in the way -- after that weirdass New Mexico child abuse case last summer, the wingnuttosphere all said, SEE!? 22 JIHADI TRAINING CAMPS! because no bad idea ever truly goes away. Or perhaps he'll start yammering about the Tucson "sex trafficker camp" that was nothing of the sort.
Oh, shit, now we've probably reminded Trump of the New Mexico thing and the "rape trees." Sorry, America.
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Doktor Zoom's real name is Marty Kelley, and he lives in the wilds of Boise, Idaho. He is not a medical doctor, but does have a real PhD in Rhetoric. You should definitely donate some money to this little mommyblog where he has finally found acceptance and cat pictures. He is on maternity leave until 2033. Here is his Twitter, also. His quest to avoid prolixity is not going so great.