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Trump Has Some Sort Of Stroke Or Something, Judging By The Words That Just Came Out His Mouth

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bing bong!


On his way down to Mar-a-Lago today to pussgrab and chill with the Chinese president, Xi Jinping, Donald Trump said some words. Were they all the best words? Sure, we'll go with "best." Here is what he said, according to this guy on Twitter who claims to be from "NBC News":

BREAKING: Pres Trump on AF1:

"I think we’ve had one of the most successful 13 weeks in the history of the presidency."

That ... I mean ... it ...

Huh.

Okay, let's stipulate that Trump always fudges the numbers, from his net worth to how many stories his buildings have to "No, really, it's four inches." Nonetheless, we should note Trump has been in office a mere 11 weeks, even if they do seem like 17 years. Now let's take a moment to chart out Trump HISTORIC successes in his first 13 weeks (11 weeks) in office.

Successful? Maybe not. Historic? MOST DEFINITELY.

What did we forget in our list? Tell us in THIS OPEN THREAD!

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Rebecca Schoenkopf

Rebecca Schoenkopf is the owner, publisher, and editrix of Wonkette. She is a nice lady, SHUT UP YUH HUH. She is very tired with this fucking nonsense all of the time, and it would be terrific if you sent money to keep this bitch afloat. She is on maternity leave until 2033.

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