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Ric Grenell, who broke a glass ceiling when Donald Trump made him the first gay European-Nazi-adjacent dumbfuck with zero national security or intelligence experience ever to hold the title of (acting) Director of National Intelligence — TRAILBLAZER! PUT IT ON A BUSINESS CARD! — has a problem.

It's not that he doesn't want to talk to Congress today about foreign threats to our elections, of which there are many. (You know, like the Russians, who are helping Trump steal 2020 right now as we type this.) He's just not ready. He's only been on the job for a couple weeks, and he hasn't worked out how to say things to Congress about subjects that are known to hurt Trump's feelings. (You know, like about Russia helping Trump steal 2020 right now as we type this.)

No no no no no, we are not kidding at you like a common Wonkette, we read it in the newspaper:


Acting Director of National Intelligence Richard Grenell has declined to appear before Congress on Tuesday to speak about foreign election threats, citing apprehension about his preparedness to address sensitive subjects that tend to upset the president, according to three people familiar with the matter.

Apprehension. About upsetting the president.

The top intelligence community official asked President Trump to be excused from the briefings because he anticipated pointed questions from Democrats about politically volatile subjects — such as intelligence assessments that Russia is once more interfering in American politics, two of the people said, speaking on the condition of anonymity to describe private discussions.

Hold on, Grenell asked Trump if he could play hooky from Congress, because he was scared the Democrats were going to ask him real questions about the Russians helping Trump steal an election?

OK, just making sure we are reading that correctly. Richard Grenell, get it together!

As reported by the Washington Post, the Office of the Director of National Intelligence (ODNI) never told Congress that Grenell was going testify in today's all-House briefing. Congress says, "WAS SO EITHER!"

FBI Director Chris Wray is there. NSA Director Paul Nakasone is there. (Acting) DHS chief Chad Wolf is there. And this other guy William Evanina is there in Grenell's stead, because we guess Ricky the Fraidy Clown is in the bathroom with his inhaler and refuses to come out.

The Post notes that also absent is another person who really should be there, Shelby Pierson, who gave the briefing what said the very obvious fact that Russia is trying to help Trump steal an(other) election in 2020, right now, as we type this. She just really upset Trump when she said the truth like that, and with Democrats present, no less.

Honestly, we had higher hopes for Grenell. When Trump got mad and fired former (acting) DNI Joe Maguire because he was upset about the Pierson briefing, and then installed Grenell, whose only qualification is that he's a toe-sucking MAGA #Troll4Trump, we really thought Trump was putting one of his boys in there. You know, somebody who would march right in to Congress and tell 'em which one is camel while screaming "NO COLLUSION! NO COLLUSION! ADAM SCHIFF'S TREASON PARAPHRASES IS THE COLLUSION!"

We thought he'd put on his best Nazi-adjacent lucky underpants and get right up in Val Demings's and Eric Swalwell's faces and tell 'em to READ TEH TRENAKSJ;KJFAKJEDSRFASDUTIOUERPOICIVIOCXGTRUTPOZUFKVJKCLJOKJT!

We thought he'd be the one to finally harness the powers of the intelligence community to investigate that most pressing question of all, which is OBAMA NETFLIX?

What a chickenshit disappointment Ric Grenell turned out to be, he is bad at being bad and he should feel bad about that.

[Washington Post]

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Evan Hurst

Evan Hurst is the senior editor of Wonkette, which means he is the boss of you, unless you are Rebecca, who is boss of him. His dog Lula is judging you right now.

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