Trump Idiots Love Declaration Of Independence As Much As They Love Reading And Hygiene

Leader of the stupids

There is a thing that happens every year on the internet, and it is that noted liberal radio thingie NPR engages in the communist hippie gay act of tweeting the Declaration Of Independence on July 4. They also say it out loud on the program "Morning Edition." We are not sure why they waste Americans' time doing something like that on a holiday dedicated to eating grilled meats and making fireworks go boom, but, you know, "intellectuals" ruin everything. But this year, at long last, Trump supporters were NOT about to let some UNPATRIOTIC LIBERALS engage in such activities without REGISTERING THEIR DISAPPROVAL. These are their stories ("LAW & ORDER" SOUND "DUN-DUN!").

We will not try to curate every erudite Trump supporter response to every line in the Declaration, because ain't nobody got time for that, but we will give you a healthy sampling:

"When in the course of human events ..."

FAGGOTS! Haha just kidding, that was Wonkette doing an impression of a Trump supporter.

HAW HAW! If you go to NPR's Twitter feed, you'll actually be disappointed wading through the threads, because it seems a message has gone out in Trump land that they got tricked by life and verifiable facts yet again, and have deleted many, if not most, of their tweets hating on the Declaration of Independence. But Buzzfeed found a few great ones! Of course, Buzzfeed is LIBERAL, so they probably MADE THEM UP to make Trump supporters look like DUMB PEOPLE WHO HAVE ROMANTIC RELATIONSHIPS WITH THEIR FAMILY MEMBERS:

Twitter liberal person Parker Malloy also was paying attention and found a few nice ones:

In fact, when they got to the line about "tyrants," some baby snowflake Trumpers were MUY TRIGGERED, because obviously big gay NPR was talking about Donald Trump. "Too soon!" they cried, because Twitter on July 4th is a wholly inappropriate place for such anti-American talk:

Ah yes. But if all liberals got deported, who would write the warning labels that say things like "Don't eat this frozen pizza without cooking it" or "don't play with your toaster oven in the bathtub"?


Oh did you hear Donald Trump got lost on the way to his limousine, which was parked directly at the bottom of the stairs coming down from Air Force One? That is a thing that happened. It's a good thing nobody told him NPR was tweeting cusses about him, from the Declaration of Independence, as he might have gotten stuck on those stairs for the rest of his life (and stairs are SCARY), as he rage-tweeted himself to death at those awful liberals who don't even own one #MAGA hat.

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Evan Hurst

Evan Hurst is the managing editor of Wonkette, which means he is the boss of you, unless you are Rebecca, who is boss of him. His dog Lula is judging you right now.

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