Trump Idiots Tell World About San Bernardino, Orlando 'Attaks' For VERY FIRST TIME EVER

Steve Bannon does.

Uh, so "President" Trump and his administration have found another way to "help" America, and it is by letting us know about all the terror attacks we have never heard of, because the lying media didn't cover them. First up, THE BOWLING GREEN MASSACRE! Just kidding, we are are mis-speaking like a common Kellyanne Conway.

You see, Trump is working really hard to lie at America about why his Muslim ban (it's not a ban!) is necessary. He's been attacking the judge who told him "no" and pre-emptively blaming judges if we have an attack (like maybe if Putin helps arrange something for his pal in the White House), and on Monday, he added a new layer of lies, which is that there are millions and billions of Radical 'Slamic Attacks, but the media doesn't report on them, because the media is BIAS AGAINST TRUMP and #InTheTank for Allah, or something.

Trump said this Monday at MacDill Air Force Base in Tampa:

“Radical Islamic terrorists are determined to strike our homeland, as they did on 9/11, as they did from Boston to Orlando to San Bernardino and all across Europe.

“You’ve seen what happened in Paris and Nice. All over Europe it’s happening. It’s gotten to a point where it’s not even being reported. And in many cases, the very, very dishonest press doesn’t want to report it. They have their reasons and you understand that.”

Guys. You've SEEN what happened in Boston and Orlando and San Bernardino and Paris and Nice, except you HAVEN'T SEEN IT, because the "very dishonest press doesn't want to report it," because #reasons. Trump speaks off script about as well as a blackout drunk six-year-old who never got potty trained.

As Steve Benen points out at the MaddowBlog, it's kinda weird that Trump would bring up all those terrorist attacks, since none of them have two shits to do with the people Trump is banning from America, but hell, the average Trump supporter can't pick out their own state on a map, and likely imagines everything east of Italy or so is a monolithic, scary country called "MuslimVille," so no matter.

So anyway, Sean Spicer said later that the administration would give out a list of all the attacks that haven't been covered, and OH BOY IT'S GOOD, YOU BET:

We think "US person" and "Unidentified" should GO TO JAIL for doing these "attaks"! Clearly somebody -- a college student? a middle schooler? -- was given the task Monday afternoon of throwing together a rush job list of "attaks," and it appears that person is not very S-M-R-T. In fact, out of the 78 incidents listed, 27 were perpetrated by "attakers" and not "attackers." DOY DOY DOY.

[wonkbar]<a href=""></a>[/wonkbar]And just as Trump did, the list cites attacks like San Bernardino (which it also misspells), Orlando, Nice and Brussels, which were covered heavily, not only by major media outlets around the world, by also by humble reader-supported dick joke mommyblogs like Wonkette. We remember, because we were there ALL DAY FOR ALL OF THEM. Hey remember that time we watched TV news for HOURS AND HOURS and became verifiably dumber during the media coverage of San Bernardino? It was mostly because Fox News was jizzing itself asking when it could use the words "radical Islamic terrorism," and also the media naming the president of Turkey as the second shooter. In the case of Orlando, we (specifically me, yr Wonkette, Evan Hurst, whom you love) wrote about it for an entire week, from every angle, and we are still waiting for our fucking Pulitzer.

Benen at MaddowBlog notes that the Trump regime's list does not include mass shootings like Charleston or Colorado Springs, because Trump's trying to make people scared of MUSLIMS right now, not white supremacists or anti-abortion crusaders. Those people are his base, you dumb dumb, and it's a well known #AlternativeFact that it's only terrorism if a Muslim does it. If a white supremacist does it, it's an unfortunate event that in no way should be blamed on an entire race or religion, because that's reverse racist!

Now, there are some things on the list that we admit probably didn't get covered that hard in the United States, due to how they happened in "Foreign," and the US media doesn't really care about "Foreign" unless it's a huge event. Also some of the things on the list didn't get covered because "US person" attacks cop with knife and no one is even wounded is not very good terrorism, OR very newsworthy.

Here is Steve Benen's conclusion:

...[W]hat we’re left with is an amateurish document thrown together carelessly by amateurish White House aides. Team Trump ought to find an effort like this embarrassing.

PFFFFT, Team Trump is too busy crying about how a girl played Sean Spicer on the funny Saturday night teevee show to do actual "work."

Anyway, Politifact gives Trump's claim that media just doesn't even report on terrorist attacks its "Pants On Fire" rating, and Wonkette gives the White House's list of terrorist attacks that nobody covered its "LOL FUCK YOU DUMB AMATEURS" award, on account of fuck you.

[MaddowBlog / MaddowBlog again]

Evan Hurst

Evan Hurst is the managing editor of Wonkette, which means he is the boss of you, unless you are Rebecca, who is boss of him. His dog Lula is judging you right now.

Follow him on Twitter RIGHT HERE.


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