Trump Jr Not Touching Russia. Wonkagenda for Mon., July 9, 2017
GOOOOD MORNING, Wonketariat! Here's some of the things we may be talking about today.
Donald Trump Jr. has admitted to meeting with a Russian lawyer who promised him "dirt" on Hillary Clinton back in the old'n timey days of the 2016 election.
Reince Preibus thinks all this Don Jr. traitor stuff is a big "nothing burger," and he has "no idea" why Trump's inner circle would sit down with some sketchy Russian lawyer.
Corey Lewandowski says Trump-Russia is over since Putin says he didn't do it. Nuts! I guess I'll pack my balls and go home.
ICYMI: That Russian lawyer lady is a mob lawyer who was being investigated by former US attorney Preet Bahara.
Will Trump officials take Don Jr. for a boat ride now that they're calling Little Donnie the "Fredo" of the family, thanks to his tendency to keep screwing up?
Several Republican senators are doubting their ability to pass a healthcare bill, but someone forgot to send that memo to Ted Cruz.
Mitch McConnell hasn't given up on TrumpCare/McConnellCare even as some Republican senators are quietly looking to exit negotiations via stage left.
President Bannon is back in the saddle of his red horse, indiscriminately swinging his sword against the enemies of nationalism and Donald Trump.
A former clerk for Clarence Thomas and fan-girl for Antonin Scalia, Neomi Rao, is spearheading the Trump administration's regulatory reform efforts. What's this pubic hair doing on the pillow that suffocated the EPA?
Congressional Republicans want to move ahead with the privatization of air traffic control, but they're currently stuck in a holding pattern.
Conservatives want MORE guns in the wake of the shooting of Republican Rep. Steve Scalise. Why not just give them out in boxes of breakfast cereal?
Trump is walking back
a Russian his plan for "an impenetrable cyber security unit" with Russia after people across the political spectrum began to laugh at the idea of giving your burglar the keys to the house.
Maryland Rep. Elijah Cummings wants to know why Trump has such a large financial stake in a massive affordable housing complex in Brooklyn. Cummings concern stems from the fact that similar programs are being cut, yet this one isn't. Strange!
According to Donald Trump, all that Russia stuff is Old News, which is even worse than Fake News.
Former Director of National Intelligence James Clapper is pretty damn confident Russia hacked the election; and warns that they'll only try again next year.
Former CIA director John Brennan finds Trump's defense of Putin, and his repeated attacks on the US intel community, "dishonorable." Clearly he's just being a showboat now that he's unemployed.
Ben Carson wants to cut block grants to poor and minority communities instead of trying to tweak the problems that allow some communities to build beer bars while others languish in food deserts.
Did James Comey potentially violate statutes regarding the handling of classified information when he made his memos about Donald Trump? There are obvious considerations, like the strength of the evidence, especially regarding intent. Responsible decisions also consider the context of a person’s actions, and how similar situations have been handled in the past.
Outgoing head of the Office of Government Ethics Walter Shaub rolls his eyes at Reince Preibus's accusations that he was a partisan hack attempting to force the Trump & Co. into being ethical and honest. [Video]
Tennessee Republican Rep. Jimmy Duncan Jr. has been dumping hundreds of thousands of Ameros on his family for years in an apparent effort to keep up a political dynasty.
Membership fees to Trump resorts go right into Donald Trump's pocket, an unusual policy that isn't usually practiced in the bougeois world of high snobriety.
New York Rep. Joseph Crowley wants to give undocumented 9/11 volunteers green cards seeing as how they already risked their own lives.
GOOD NEWS, Dudes, Dudettes, and non-binary Duderinos! The University of Maryland's School of Pharmacy will begin offering online courses for medical marijuana training in an effort to establish standards for the budding industry.
Mexico has been spying on investigators with cyberweapons in an attempt to halt an investigations into 43 missing students.
The US was the lone holdout on the Paris Climate Deal at the G-20, and all the other leaders treated Donald Trump like a messy booger eater who smells like snot and sadness.
A little bird told UN Amb. Nikki Haley that when Trump sat down with Putin, he immediately brought up the 2016 election hacking and told Putin to "cut it out." Seeing as how the election has been over for 9 months, we're sure it did the trick.
The UN passed the Treaty on the Prohibition on Nuclear Weapons, a move which will make the possession and use of atomic weapons illegal as opposed to just a moral dilemma. In response, the US, France, and Britain said, "Fuck that shit," and are refusing to sign or ratify the treaty. [Nerdy Policy Stuff]
A Not American journo went on Not American teevee to say mean things about Donald Trump locking the US in a tiny room by itself.
Trump's lawyer filed a motion to dismisses a defamation suit by former Apprentice contestant Summer Zervos by claiming Trump's statements denying the allegations were "hyperbole." The joke here is in the definition of hyperbole.
Kellyanne Conway is sick of the sexist haters who just keep hosing her in hater-aide.
Bamz is back, ya'll! Obama will appear at a fundraiser for a Democratic redistricting group along with Eric Holder and Nancy Pelosi. Welcome back, Barry! <3
And here's your morning Nice Time! ANDEAN BEAR CUB! He might fall down a lot, but he's doing better than the Chicago Cubs!
Freedom isn't free, but 'Yr Wonkette is! Throw us some Ameros so things stay that way!
Dominic is a broke journalist in Chicago. You can find him in a dirty bar talking to weirdos, or in a gutter taking photos.