Oh no, democracy is broked again. It's been revealed that two of Donald Trump's terrific kids weren't paying attention to their Snapchat alerts and forgot to register as Republicans in New York, which has closed primaries, which means they won't be able to vote for Daddy! So if Trump somehow manages to lose to Ted Cruz by two votes, guess who's not getting their yearly care package of a new Bentley, a bunch of bon-bons and an Entertainment® coupon book from daddy this year? Eric and Ivanka is who:

Trump conceded Monday that two of his children - Eric and Ivanka Trump - failed to register as Republicans in the state in time to be eligible to vote for him in New York's April 19 primary.

"They were unaware of the rules and they didn't register in time," Trump said on Fox News. "So they feel very, very guilty. They feel very guilty but it's fine." [...]

"Eric and Ivanka, I guess, won't be voting," Trump said.

Wait, they weren't Republicans before? YOU DON'T SAY. So yes, the thing here is that, according to the state of New York, new voters had all the way up to March 25 to register, but if you were suddenly, for some reason, deciding to magically change your party registration to Republican (like maybe because your dad told you to), you had to do that by OCTOBER 9. Wonkette's official policy on that October deadline is PFFFFFFT and go fuck a stump.

[wonkbar]<a href=""></a>[/wonkbar]Because sometimes people are busy, you know, and things get pushed way down on the to-do list. Like for instance, did you hear about how Ivanka Trump just had a baby? Her THIRD BABY? And she's doing this while also working for the Trump organization, AND she just got some disturbing news about how the scarves in the Ivanka Trump Collection spontaneously catch on fire, etc. She has things to do, is the point.

[wonkbar]<a href=""></a>[/wonkbar]Oh, and Eric Trump is busy too. He also works for his dad's empire, and it takes many hours per day to maintain a face THAT punchable. Moreover, he is still recovering from the time somebody terrorismed him by sending him some powdered lemonade in the mail. Wonkette's official policy on doing terror to Eric Trump is still STOP IT.

Oh well. It'll probably be fine, as Dear Daddy is ahead in polls in New York. Maybe the children will get off their damn fannies and make sure their registration is current for November, so they can secretly vote for Hillary or whatever.


Evan Hurst

Evan Hurst is the senior editor of Wonkette, which means he is the boss of you, unless you are Rebecca, who is boss of him. His dog Lula is judging you right now.

Follow him on Twitter RIGHT HERE.

Donate with CC
'Bella" by Wonkette Operative 'IdiokraticSubpoenaKommissar'

Sunday already, which means a substantial portion of US America is preparing to be astonished/heartbroken/outraged by the series finale of that show with the dragons, while another portion is just going to stay off Twitter for three days because nothing will make any sense. Yr Dok Zoom tends to come very late to trendy things, so get ready for our own thoughts on the gamy thrones show sometime in about 2023, or never. But we'd be glad to tell you just how much we enjoy the brilliance and humanity of the Cartoon Network series "Steven Universe," which debuted in 2013 and we started bingeing on the Hulu last month, late again.

Hell, we still want to talk about that one Mrs Landingham episode of "The West Wing," which we first watched years after it aired (We finally bought our new used car yesterday, and know one thing: don't drive over to the White House to show it off to President Bartlet). We might even get around to reading Infinite Jest someday. We hear it has something to do with a superhero team and a guy named Thanos. So hey, let's talk about culture and missing out and patching together some knowledge of what's happening anyway.

Keep reading... Show less
Donate with CC
Get Me Roger Stone

Roger Stone, his wife would like you to know, is broke. And he is not dealing with it well. Once in khaki suits, gee, he looked swell, full of that yankee-doodle-dee-dum, but now no one calls him Al anymore and he has to stand on a street corner singing "Brother Can You Spare A Dime?"

Yesterday, the conservative but also kind of Never Trumper site The Bulwark revealed the details of a grifty "fundraising" plea sent out by Stone's wife Nydia, begging supporters to give money to the Stones in order to help them keep up the lifestyle to which they have become accustomed.

It was titled "I am embarrassed to write this."

"Dear Friend," begins the missive. "My husband and I have an urgent new problem and we need your help. I told my husband I was going to write you, one of his most valued supporters. I am embarrassed to write this, but I must."

"Mrs. Roger Stone" tells a tale of woe: FBI agents swooping in on them at the crack of dawn to arrest her husband, a subsequent "fake news" feeding frenzy causing friends and fans to abandon the Stones.

"He laid off all our consultants, contractors and employees, and we have 'pulled in our belts' like so many Americans in 'tight times,'" she wrote, sounding for all the world like a plucky working-class patriot, not the wife of a man who made and lost his fortune lying in the service of power.

She should have been more embarrassed.

Keep reading... Show less
Donate with CC

How often would you like to donate?

Select an amount (USD)


©2018 by Commie Girl Industries, Inc