Trump Kids Divided. Is The Old Man Demented, Or Just Crazy?

Oh, how the worm has turned! After two years of Vanky and Jared working every reporter in the I-95 corridor to place anonymous stories touting their heroic efforts to rein in the old man, Don Jr. has finally figured out how to play the game, too.

"According to sources, Don Jr. has told friends that he tried lobbying Ivanka Trump, Eric Trump, and Jared Kushner to convince the president that he needs to stop acting unstable," Vanity Fairreports. "'Don Jr. has said he wants to stage an intervention, but Jared and Ivanka keep telling Trump how great he's doing,' a source said."

Yay, Deej! You're getting so good at this.

Don Jr. is said to be reluctant to confront his father alone. "Don said, 'I'm not going to be the only one to tell him he's acting crazy,'" the source added.

Oh. Hmmm. Well, we'd probably have tried to keep that part out of the papers. But, still, not bad for a first effort! Definitely better than ... whatever this was.

According to VF, the entire family is aware that the morning's bout of all-caps explosive Twitter diarrhea was not helpful — "They're all worried. They've tried to get him to stop tweeting" — but only Don Jr. is outside the White House Happytalk Bubble enough to see that yesterday's field trip, complete with Secret Service agents gowned up in PPE like surgeons to protect them from Commander Contagion, was a really bad look.

"Don Jr. thinks Trump is acting crazy," a source told VF of Trump's soon-to-be-disinherited eldest child.

The piece also includes this priceless anecdote of Trump family lore.

There is a long history in the Trump family of denying serious illness. According to a Trump family friend, Trump's father, Fred Trump Sr., insisted on working even after his Alzheimer's disease advanced in the 1990s. "To retire is to expire!" Fred Sr. would say. The friend said that as Fred Sr.'s disease worsened — he once came down the stairs wearing three neckties — the family created a system so that Fred could think he was still running the Trump Organization. Every day Fred Sr. would go to the office in Brooklyn and they would give him blank papers to sort through and sign. The phone on Fred's desk was set up so that it could only dial out to his secretary. "Fred pretended to work," the family friend said.

Really? They gave Trump's dad busywork to keep him calm when he was totally demented?

Fascinating! And a fake phone to play with, too?

Wow, what a coincidence! Anyway, glad to hear the president is totally on the mend and promising to return to "full frontal campaigning" real soon.

WAIT, WHAT? Poppy, put your pants back on right now!


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Liz Dye

Liz Dye lives in Baltimore with her wonderful husband and a houseful of teenagers. When she isn't being mad about a thing on the internet, she's hiding in plain sight in the carpool line. She's the one wearing yoga pants glaring at her phone.


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