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You bored with the back and forth over whether Donald Trump will be allowed by his lawyers to sit in front of special counsel Robert Mueller's team and lie to their faces before they've even asked a question? YOU'RE NOT? WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU? IT'S ALL A BULLSHIT GAME OF CHICKEN, AND MUELLER ISN'T EVEN PLAYING!

Also, didn't we just do this a week ago? We did.

Anyway, feast your eyes on this mendacious horseshit from Maggie Haberman's latest hot scoop:


President Trump's lawyers rejected the special counsel's latest terms for an interview in the Russia investigation, countering on Wednesday with an offer that suggested a narrow path for answering questions, people familiar with the matter said. [...]

The president's lead lawyer in the case, Rudolph W. Giuliani, noted the documents that the White House has already provided and said, "We're restating what we have been saying for months: It is time for the Office of Special Counsel to conclude its inquiry without further delay."

BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH FUCK YOU.

Eight months! This "negotiation" has been going on for eight months! And it's not even a real "negotiation"!

Oh hey look, Robert Mueller just sent Wonkette a selfie to express how he feels upon reading Rudy Giuliani's latest mash note:

LOL, our bad, that is not Robert Mueller. That is the literal devil incarnate, who runs the Deep State with her emails. In other words, that is Robert Mueller's boss.

HAHA JOKES.

Um, anyway, funny quote from the Mags Haberville scoop article:

By making another counterproposal after months of promises that they were just weeks away from deciding about an interview, Mr. Trump's lawyers run the risk that Mr. Mueller could conclude they are negotiating in bad faith to prolong the investigation.

YA THINK?

Trump's lawyers continue to say they don't want Trump answering questions about obstruction of justice, and their stated reason is that they subscribe to the Nixonian belief that the president is allowed to murder babies in the middle of 5th Avenue, because he is president. The real reason is that they know their client is a fool and a fucking pathological liar who's only partially tethered to reality, and we say "partially" because we're being generous. Mueller, of course, would like to ask Trump questions on all his crimes, including obstruction, conspiracy with the Russian government, and whatever else Mueller has uncovered that we don't yet know about.

But doggone it, Trump really wants to talk to Mueller! Because Trump has spent so many decades huffing his own farts, he literally thinks he is so smart he can go in front of Mueller and convince him that he's innocent, and moreover that this is all a witch hunt. He thinks he can just weasel out of it the way he used to weasel out of crimes in his business. He has no fucking clue what he's dealing with here.

Look, maybe Mueller actually needs an interview with Trump to determine his intent, and if that is the case, there will be a subpoena fight and it will go all the way to the Supreme Court. But we doubt that. Donald Trump manages to confess his crimes on Twitter fifty times a week, and Mueller has ALL THESE RECEIPTS and ALL THESE INTERVIEWS and ALL THESE DOCUMENTS. We have a feeling his case is fully formed, and any Trump interview will just add a whole bunch of perjury to all the rest of Trump's crimes, like icing on the most disgusting cake you've ever been forced to eat.

In other words, Mueller has Trump dead to rights, and these negotiations are just him showing that he plays ball. Maybe he'd like to trick Trump and his stable of stable genius lawyers into letting the president be interviewed. Hell, if Mueller does ultimately decide to subpoena Trump, it might just be for sport at this point!

Meanwhile, Trump's fuckmouth lawyers will continue engaging in these VERY LOUD NEGOTIATIONS, which are VERY LOUD BECAUSE RUDY GIULIANI WON'T STOP TALKING ABOUT THEM, so that they have deniability when they ultimately say, "Turns out we can't do it! We tried, but that Robert Mueller character is just too unreasonable! He even says the president can be held accountable for obvious crimes, like have you ever heard something so crazy?"

Then Giuliani went on Hannity and said this:

Nobody tell him how Watergate ends! Okay thank you goodbye.

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[New York Times]

Evan Hurst

Evan Hurst is the senior editor of Wonkette, which means he is the boss of you, unless you are Rebecca, who is boss of him. His dog Lula is judging you right now.

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Hello! Here a beautiful open thread for you to not comment all over, so that you don't not comment all over Dok's book club post.

I was gonna drop my Nonnie's recipe for Easter bread in here, but apparently it has to proof overnight and is also for approximately 87,000 people, so not much of a point to that! (Though here it is if you really want it. She doesn't do the egg thing, but if you want, you can put some dyed raw eggs in the braided dough before you bake. And you can add sprinkles, and anise if you're gross and like gross things) I was gonna try and make it myself last night, but have instead opted to just make waffles. Waffles are FINE.

So instead, I shall just leave you with this absolutely terrifying version of The Velveteen Rabbit starring Marie Osmond as said velveteen rabbit. Coincidentally, Marie Osmond is also Nonnie's 2nd arch-nemesis, after Rachel Ray (Rachel Ray because she doesn't pull her hair back when she cooks, and Marie for reasons I'm not entirely clear on but which I believe are related to a Weight Watchers commercial).

THE VELVETEEN RABBIT starring Marie Osmond - full length feature youtu.be


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'Unemployed men queued outside a depression soup kitchen opened in Chicago by Al Capone' -- National Archives

Happy Day Before Half-Priced Easter Chocolate Day, Wonkers! Time to wrap up our Wonkette Book Club discussion of Winter War: Hoover, Roosevelt, and the First Clash Over the New Deal, by Erich Rauchway, a historian at UC-Davis. We're increasingly convinced the book might have just as well been titled Herbert Hoover: Christ, What An Asshole! As ever, even if you haven't finished the reading, jump in anyway -- there won't be a test!

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