Trump Supports Freedom Of The Press To Agree With Him 100% Of The Time. OR ELSE.


You've probably heard about the great big project by the Boston Globe to get a whole bunch of newspapers to run editorials about Donald Trump's attacks on the press as the "Enemy of the People" -- in addition to the Globe's own editorial, several hundred papers nationwide are running pieces to advise their readers that a free press is kind of a big deal, and that attacking reporters as purveyors of fake news isn't good for a democracy (there's a nice searchable list at the New York Times). You might think President Thin Skin might simply ignore it, because obviously he's not going to be persuaded to stop demonizing the press. But of course, there's no provocation too slight to earn an overreaction from Donald Trump.

The great Man took to the Tweet Machine this morning to deliver yet another series of condemnations of all those evil, evil journamalists who daily try to destroy America by accurately reporting on Donald Trump. The first was his standard boilerplate idiocy:

Two hours later, it was obviously still gnawing at him, so Trump went after the Boston Globe with MATH -- and also the completely insane idea that a bunch of newspapers saying "A free press is actually a good thing, what with the whole holding government accountable business" actually translates to "COLLUSION," a word he seems to be stuck on for some reason these days:

PROVE WHAT, exactly? You know, all of "it." Not surprisingly, Trump was also wrong about NYT's sale price for the Globe -- while they did take a loss, they sold it and some other assets in 2013 for $70 million. At least, that was the sales price given by the failing New York Times, which probably just made it up.

Then, to prove that he is indeed a fan of a free press, or would be if only the press would all be as objective as Sean Hannity, Trump explained his vision of how the First Amendment and the Fourth Estate can combine to promote all the Number Two he feeds the nation:

Aren't you all reassured by that conditional phrasing? He would want true freedom of the press, if only such a thing were possible, but as we all know, there's just too much freedom, so until the press learns to behave more responsibly ... well, nothing, really, because whatever Trump might like to do to restrict publication, he's mostly limited to petty shit like revoking security clearances, excluding CNN from the occasional event, and having the Pentagon punish reporters for unfavorable coverage, which is plenty bad enough.

At least some of Trump's more ardent supporters, like Gateway Pundit dipshit Jacob Wohl (they really have a great hiring process over there), insisted Trump didn't go far enough: it's time to crack the whip. Probably literally, and Wohl knows the American People would be 100 percent with him on this!

And wouldn't you know it, a whole bunch of people on Twitter went and dragged up Wohl's lifetime ban by the National Futures Association because the young financial genius had done a whole lot of grifty deals, if you can believe that. When he's Press Commissar, they'll be sorry! He wasn't talking about that kind of ban, which was a witch hunt, not the responsible limitation of fake news he has in mind.

Oh, and how did some of Trump's minions react to his hot takes? They phoned in threats to the Boston Globe, and Boston police turned out to guard the building.

When they go dumbass, we go smartass. Support freedom of the electrons by sending Yr Wonkette some money! Or click the tip jar below!

[Boston Globe / Vox / NYT]

Doktor Zoom

Doktor Zoom's real name is Marty Kelley, and he lives in the wilds of Boise, Idaho. He is not a medical doctor, but does have a real PhD in Rhetoric. You should definitely donate some money to this little mommyblog where he has finally found acceptance and cat pictures. He is on maternity leave until 2033. Here is his Twitter, also. His quest to avoid prolixity is not going so great.


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