#pizzagatealex jonesangela merkelboris epshteynbrian stelterFreedom Caucusinfowarsjared kushnerjeanine pirroJon LovettJudge Jeaninelindsey grahampaul ryanpt News BriefreaganomicsRyanCarespeaker of the housetrickle-down economicsTrumpCareWHOAI
Trump Loves Paul Ryan! Loves Him Under This Bus! Wonkagenda For Mon., March 27, 2017
Morning, Wonketariat! There's a bunch of stuff going down today, so here's just some of the things we may be talking about today.
- Trump and the rest of the GOP want to reform the tax code into some Reagan-esque garbage heap of trickle down economics that would tax imports and reduce corporate tax rates, while stepping on the backs of the working poor.
- People in Trump's White House are running around and flailing their arms like coked-out muppets over their series of abysmal failures as they blame each other for each successive fuck up, and it's beginning to spread.
- Trump and Congress are now looking to piece together TrumpCare/RyanCare proposals since governmenting is really hard business when everyone hates you.
- The Freedom Caucus swore a secret oath on a stack of bloody Bibles to vote as a collective of crazy people, effectively dooming TrumpCare/Ryancare. Thanks!
- Lindsey Graham had a terrible, awful, no-good town hall after so many people called for his head (with votes) this past weekend.
- Trump may have "accidentally" thrown Speaker Ryan under the bus this weekend when he tweeted that everyone should watch a crazy woman on teevee who proceeded to scream that Paul Ryan should step down as Speaker of the House.
- Jared's been promoted (again) to lead the White House Office of American Innovation (say it with me, "WHOAI?") a new office that hopes to reduce bureaucracy by creating more bureaucracy.
- Jared is ALSO being summoned by the Senate Intelligence Committee, which wants to know what he and Russian ambassador Segey Kislyak talked about, and why he's been talking to the heads of state-sanctioned Russian banks,
- Trump's White House looks like it's putting some kind of leash on Boris Epshteyn, the spox weasel who talked too much trash on, and off, camera.
- Former Obama speechwriter and podcaster extraordinaire Jon Lovett went on CNN and said a cuss about how CNN keeps making good journalists talk to mindless talking heads in shouting matches that leave rational people covered in tears and sadness.
- Trump gave German Chancellor Angela Merkel a fake invoice for billions of Ameros; Merkel (of course) ignored the scam because she's not A Idiot, she's a doctor of physical chemistry and the leader of the free world.
- And here's your morning Nice Time! Baby Camels!
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Dominic Gwinn
Dominic is a broke journalist in Chicago. You can find him in a dirty bar talking to weirdos, or in a gutter taking photos.