Donald Trump went to [FILL IN THE BLANK] Thursday night for a campaign rally for [PERSON WHOSE NAME WE ALREADY FORGOT BECAUSE ALL TRUMP DOES IS TALK ABOUT HIMSELF]. While there, he said [ANY ASSORTMENT OF DEMENTIA WHITE SUPREMACIST WORDS] and now all the Very Serious Journalists are like [OMG].

So, this time it was Montana.

Trump made the most news when he said he would challenge Elizabeth Warren to take a DNA test to prove she is the real Pocahontas, and that he would give a million dollars to her favorite charity if she is. This is funny because LOL that check would never get mailed. Also it's racist, but that's what happens when the president is a white nationalist.

But then he said the weirdest thing about administering the test to Warren:

We're in the "Me Too" generation, so we have to be very gentle!

And then he did this weird motion with hands, like he was administering it. Maybe in his mind you really have to grab those genes by the pussy. Or as Chrissy Teigen put it:


Trump went after journalists again, because he's totally gotten over his crocodile tears over the journalists murdered in Annapolis one week before, and can get right back to telling his stories about how the fake news are terrible people, and when they say they have 15 anonymous sources, it is because they made them up. We'd transcribe it, but it's the same lie he always tells. We could point out that it sure is funny for the president to declare anonymous sources fake, considering how for most of his life, HE'S BEEN ONE. (You know, like when he planted stories about himself in the news, posing as Trump spokesman "John Barron." We're also fairly certain he acts as an anonymous source for White House reporters, but you'd have to trick Maggie Haberman into spilling the beans on that one.)

Trump had many LOLs about George H.W. Bush, whose wife just died, and Bush's famous "thousand points of light" speech. "What the hell was that," asked Trump, because he is a moron. It is about volunteering and organizations that give back to their communities, things Trump might know about if he hadn't lived every single one of his sad years on earth with his head firmly planted up his rancid selfish ass.

(To be fair to Trump, he didn't mention Bush's name, because his brain is past by its sell-by date and he didn't actually remember who said the very confusing thing about thousands of points of light.)

But our favorite part, because we are Russia-obsessed like a common Rachel Maddow, and because those Republican senators just spent their 4th of July eating blueberry and strawberry American flag cakes off a buncha Russian politicians' nipples, and because Trump is fixin' to head to Helsinki for a little alone time with his handler Vladimir Putin, was this:

75% of [journalists] are downright dishonest. ... They're fake! And I might even end up having a good relationship [with Putin] but they're going, "Will President Trump be prepared?" you know, "President Putin is KGB!" and this and that! You know what? Putin's fine, he's fine! We're all people!

PUTIN IS PEOPLE! HE IS FINE! EVERYBODY IS PEOPLE! (Offer may not apply to non-white people who don't have pee tapes of Trump getting his jollies with his willy out in Moscow, ALLEGEDLY. Also, Putin is fucking KGB.)

So there you have it. Highlights from yet another night with Captain Dipshit. We hope this has been as edifying for you to read as it absolutely was not for us to write.

Once Trump was back on Air Force One, he sent this tweet. See if you can decipher it, because we've got nothin':

Wait ... MS-13 is going to ... take our jobs? But do they even know how to make Sarah Palin jokes?

Oh fuck it, it's not supposed to make sense, his brain is broken, and this post is over.

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Evan Hurst

Evan Hurst is the senior editor of Wonkette, which means he is the boss of you, unless you are Rebecca, who is boss of him. His dog Lula is judging you right now.

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Once upon a time... about ten years ago, a group of entirely ridiculous men burst onto the scene wearing stupid hats and telling men that wearing stupid hats and telling men that walking up to women in bars and insulting ("negging") them would get them laid. This did not last long, as women also had televisions and computers and were completely aware of these tricks as well, so when some ass came up to us in a bar and said "Hey, nice nails, are they real?" we would laugh and laugh and loudly announce "Oh my god, this guy just tried to neg me! Can you believe that shit? HEY EVERYONE, THIS GUY JUST TRIED TO NEG ME!" and then refer to him as "Mystery" the whole night.

Most of the men who tried that shit only did so a few times before realizing that it wasn't going to work, and thus moved on to other things. Perhaps things that did not involve furry hats and coming off as a huge creep. We may never know, because I would assume that those who tried it are now extremely embarrassed and would never, ever admit to this to us.

Still, there were a few men willing to eat that shit up, as well as some grifters willing to take advantage of that. Said grifters tended to be extremely misogynistic and seemed more like they were teaching men how to be as despised by women as they were than teaching them how to actually be liked by women.

Some of them, like Roosh V, a creepy weirdo who actually does live in his mom's basement, actively encouraged men to rape women who were intoxicated to the point of being obviously unable to consent.

However, even that branch of the PUA tree is wilting away. Many "self-help" style PUA forums like Nextasf and RSDnation are shutting down or have already shut down. In March, Chateau Heartiste, a batshit crazy PUA turned White Nationalist/Alt-Right blog was shut down by Wordpress. This week, rape advocate Roosh V (whom you may recall once called yours truly a "Wonkette typist/clown face, would not bang") announced that he was renouncing his PUA ways and devoting himself to Jesus. He explained to the forum he manages that he would no longer be allowing anyone to discuss premarital "fornication."

Keep reading... Show less
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'Baby Geniuses' star Jon Voight took to Twitter early this morning to proclaim his undying love for Donald Trump, probably because there is no one left in his life who will listen to him talk about this, or anything else, in person. In this video rant, Voight encouraged members of the Republican Party, whom he apparently thinks are the only real citizens of the United States, to stand by Donald Trump and "acknowledge the truth" that he is the best President since Abraham Lincoln.

Part ONE:

People of the Republican Party, I know you will agree with me when I say our president has our utmost respect and our love. This job is not easy. For he's battling the left and their absurd words of destruction. I've said this once and I'll say this again. That our nation has been built on the solid ground from our forefathers, and there is a moral code of duty that has been passed on from President Lincoln. I'm here today to acknowledge the truth, and I'm here today to tell you my fellow Americans that our country…

Oh no, not our absurd words of destruction!

Part DEUX:

is stronger, safer, and with more jobs because our President has made his every move correct. Don't be fooled by the political left, because we are the people of this nation that is witnessing triumph. So let us stand with our president. Let us stand up for this truth, that President Trump is the greatest president since President Lincoln.

Does Jon Voight not know there have been... other presidents? Can he name them? Because really, it does not sound like it. Does he also not know that a very big chunk of the Republican Party actually does not care very much for Abraham Lincoln? Namely those defenders of Confederate statues that Trump called "very fine people?" Also, did he intentionally diss their beloved Ronald Reagan?

Who can know? Who can even tell what he is trying to say or why he is trying to say it. He doesn't appear to have tweeted much since 2016, so I'm guessing whoever's job it was to keep him from tanking his career quit. Either that... or after filming the seventh season of Ray Donovan, he found out it's going to be canceled or his character is getting killed off or something and he is now free to be a jackass? I don't know, I haven't watched the show, although my parents are very into it and mad that I haven't watched it. Literally all I know about it is that it has something to do with Boston, because they keep mentioning that to me like it's a selling point.

It seems useless at this point to note that the people who scream their faces off about how bad it is for Hollywood celebs to support liberal causes, and how they should keep their politics to themselves, etc. etc. make a way bigger deal than normal people do whenever a Big Time Hollywood Celebrity like Jon Voight or, uh, Scott Baio, supports their cause. Mostly because they're the only ones who have elected a reality TV star and the star of Bedtime for Bonzo (who by the way, also once practically ruined a perfectly good Bette Davis movie with his bad acting. Which is not to say that Dark Victory is not fantastic and probably the best thing to watch if you want to sob your face off, but he was very bad in it.) to run the country.

But we might as well do that anyway, because it actually never stops being funny.

[Jon Voight Twitter]

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