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Another Rudy Giuliani post already?! Didn't we already have one today?

Yes well, when you are as fucked as Rudy Giuliani, Donald Trump's unpaid criminal lawyer (wocka wocka we see what we did there), then life comes atcha fast, which means Wonkette posts about Rudy G. come atcha fast!

Today in the Oval Office, sitting next to Sergio Mattarella, the president of Italy, Trump did that thing he does and whined about all his problems. And what he wants you to know is that Rudy Giuliani is 1) a great guy, 2) just really worried about the "corruption" in Ukraine and 3) IT WAS ALL RUDY'S IDEA, DANGIT, RUDY MADE ME DO THE CRIMES RUDYDIDITRUDYDIDITRUDYDIDIT!


Here is an approximate transcript of the above horseshit:

Rudy Giuliani was seeking out corruption, and what happened mostly in the 2016 election, because there was tremendous corruption, I think even you would admit that. The election, it was disgraceful what happened, what happened to me ... [BLAH BLAH BLAH ADAM SCHIFF MADE UP A PHONE CALL BLAH BLAH BLAH]

So, Rudy was a great prosecutor. He was the best mayor in the history of New York as far as I can see. I think he's pretty much acknowledged what he did with crime and everything else. And when he saw what was going on with our election of 2016, the election I won, but the election that was absolutely corrupted by things that took place in government." [BLAH BLAH BLAH PETER STRZOK OBAMA DID THE CONSPIRACY NO SERIOUSLY TRUMP SAID THAT MULTIPLE TIMES TODAY GOD WHAT A FUCKING MORON BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH]

So Rudy saw that, I can tell you, Rudy Guiliani, because he was very, very incensed at the horrible things that he saw as are many people [BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH]

See? Nothing to see here. Giuliani wanted to find the corruption in Ukraine, he wanted to investigate the conspiracy theories about Ukraine's involvement in the 2016 election that sprout from his and Trump's pooterholes like DDT-laced kudzu, everybody admits there was corruption, not that Donald Trump didn't REALLY WIN the 2016 election, but ...

BUTTTTTTTTTTTTT. Is Rudy Giuliani a foreign agent? That is what a journalist wanted to know, and Trump did not want to answer.

I don't know what he did. You have to ask Rudy those questions. Don't ask me. Rudy was one of many people that was incensed at the corruption that took place during that election. Pure corruption.

Please ask Rudy Giuliani if he is a foreign agent, preferably somewhere on the TV where he can admit it real loud.

As TPM notes, Trump then pulled more conspiracy kudzu out of his underpants and whined about the DNC server he thinks is secretly buried in a rich guy's backyard in Ukraine, the same thing he talked about on his Ukrainian crime call, because good God, he is fucking stupid.

Maybe somebody will stumble over it while they're raking the forest in Ukraine. Only Trump's warmed over conspiracy turds can prevent forest fires, after all.

But back to Roodles The Clown!

We already knew there were many possible FARA violations with Giuliani's shadow crime "diplomacy" in Ukraine, especially after we read the indictment of his two Chucklefuck Ukrainian-American pals Lev Parnas and Igor Fruman. (By the way, the fourth and final guy in that indictment, David Correia, was arrested at JFK this morning.) We knew Giuliani was personally being investigated in that scheme. We knew Giuliani's business and his finances were being investigated, and we knew a grand jury had been impaneled in the investigation. We are also now learning that on top of his work in Ukraine, he maybe was also doing some foreign agent work for Turkey, starting approximately six seconds after Michael Flynn got caught doing that same thing. But of course!

And we knew he fired his lawyer, because he ain't need no stinkin' lawyer!

CNN has a new tidbit, though! Turns out there is also a counter-intelligence aspect to the Giuliani investigation.

For months, investigators looking into Rudy Giuliani's business dealings in Ukraine have dug into everything from possible financial entanglements with alleged corrupt Ukrainian figures to counterintelligence concerns raised by some of those business ties, according to people briefed on the matter.

The counterintelligence part of the investigation indicates that FBI and criminal prosecutors in Manhattan are looking at a broader set of issues related to Giuliani, President Donald Trump's personal attorney, than has been previously reported.

An attorney quoted by CNN, Kenneth McCallion, says the feds were asking him questions about Giuliani's connection to his Chucklefucks in February or March, which was many months ago, and also about the time we think Giuliani's "Let's extort Ukraine to get Donald re-elected" scheme started taking shape.

The counterintelligence probe hinges in part on whether a foreign influence operation was trying to take advantage of Giuliani's business ties in Ukraine and with wealthy foreigners to make inroads with the White House, according to one person briefed on the matter.

"I was just asked whether I or any of my clients knew of any dealings that these two guys had with Giuliani," McCallion said. "They were on the radar with regard to possible counterintelligence issues."

Huh. Wonder what that's about.

Oh wait, WONKETTE HAS A GUESS, PICK WONKETTE!

Because one of Rudy's Chucklefucks, Lev Parnas, is reportedly tied to the Ukrainian oligarch Dmitry Firtash, who's living in Vienna awaiting extradition to the United States on massive biliions of bucks of bribery charges, and THAT GUY DMITRY is the one who hired the crazy rat-haired Fox News TV lawyers Victoria Toensing and Joe DiGenova, and THOSE RAT-HAIRED IDIOTS hired Parnas as a "translator" so they could talk to Firtash, and some combination of these idiots has been feeding Rudy Giuliani ginned-up "evidence" to wave around on TV as part of Trump's Ukrainian treason campaign against Joe Biden, evidence which seems to have been laundered through ... Firtash!

And who else is THAT GUY DMITRY?

Oh, just allegedly maybe the front man for Semion Mogilevich, the head of the Russian mob. (Here's a great long read on Firtash that just came out in Time. Bookmark it!)

So it could be that. Or it could be something else. Or it could be that and something else.

Oh well, mull all of that over in your OPEN THREAD.

[Talking Points Memo / CNN]

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Evan Hurst

Evan Hurst is the senior editor of Wonkette, which means he is the boss of you, unless you are Rebecca, who is boss of him. His dog Lula is judging you right now.

Follow him on Twitter RIGHT HERE.

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